[jaffeyjoeblaze]

UPdate... so Friday she seemed to open up... over chat messaging at work... made her laugh and basically compliment me by saying "you are so corney you make me feel like a kid again and you are makin this day go a lot better by keeping a smile on my face"

So she also started to open up by how she wasn't able to go home for Easter and wanted to easter egg hunt... so I offer her to go on a easter egg hunt and grab a drink after... she replies 'well my friends birthday is on easter and we are supposed to go on a hike so maybe I can take a raincheck for next weekend'

So I'm like we can always go some other time... and we continued to talk but it wasn't awkward nor did she act differently towards me... all in all it was good and nice to see her get back to her senses and actually put her guard down to let me get to know her some more and to get to know me a little more...

[friend4u178]

You sound like a Dog chasing it's tail , just because she willing to talk to you and willing to maybe spend a bit of time with you (not abnormal) doesn't mean she is open to anything else.

Don't get caught up in letting your emotions overtake reality , sure she may be open to being friends and that's great if that's all your after , but in my opinion that's all it is , and it seems your hoping there's more.

[jaffeyjoeblaze]

UPDATE:

So I've lowered my expectations... she has opened up more about some personal info about her family and we actually had lunch last week... it was a spur of the moment thing... she hit me up on chat at work saying she was hungry knowing that I was about to go on lunch, kind of throwing the hint out there... so I said lets go... and its funny because the night before she was bored and wondering what I was doing for the night but I was busy working...

We went and it went real well... had her laughing the whole time... got to know more about her and she found out more about me... even got the flirtful touches from her like the slap on the knee etc... sarcasm, etc...

The thing is that everybody saw us together at work when we came back at lunch... we didn't care and separated our ways for the day... of course she chatted with me later at work...

The good thing about this whole thing is that she got a chance to see how it was to hang out with me one on one... and she enjoys how funny I am and how entertaining I am... and she's quite funny herself... now Im not saying she is mine and I got a date but it was kind of a test or a preview of things for both of us if it went any further...

[amicon]

I don't know what your 'lowered expectations' are,but I stand by my opinion that a possible romantic involvement with someone you work with is a possible recipe for a disaster,should things go wrong.

Proceed with caution.

[jaffeyjoeblaze]

I dont know what your 'lowered expectations' are,but I stand by my opinion that a possible romantic involvement with someone you work with is a possible recipe for a disaster,should things go wrong.

Proceed with caution.

Like I've come to terms to her just being my friend... if that's the way its going to be then fine... I think she is the one who is changing to possibly liking me more as a friend... but I am being cautious with her...

[talaniman]

She sounds more bored than attracted, but who knows. Keep your wits, and stop assuming she is so into you.

That's a lousy assumption to make.

[jaffeyjoeblaze]

She sounds more bored than attracted, but who knows. Keep your wits, and stop assuming she is so into you.

Thats a lousy assumption to make.

Thanks talaniman... I needed your response to kill my ego... im so glad you can read and verify her body language and responses just through my telling of a story...

[talaniman]

Actually, I wasn't reading her, I was reading you. But your right about the ego comment.

[friend4u178]

I hope you don't think that every time a female is willing to spend time with you and have a laugh it may lead to something else , because honestly that's what your expectations sound like.

She was probably happy to spend time with you after you "backed Off"

I have lots of female friends and I'm sure lots of the other guys here have too , but there comfortable being with me because they know I'm nothing more than a friend and don't try to be.

Sure enjoy her company and IF something comes off it down the line so be it , but just don't forget the dangers of getting romantically involved with someone in the workplace.

[jaffeyjoeblaze]

Actually, I wasn't reading her, I was reading you. But your right about the ego comment.

That's a lousy assumption to make...

I hope you don't think that every time a female is willing to spend time with you and have a laugh it may lead to something else , because honestly thats what your expectations sound like.

She was probably happy to spend time with you after you "backed Off"

I have lots of female friends and I'm sure lots of the other guys here have too , but there comfortable being with me because they know i'm nothing more than a friend and don't try to be.

Sure enjoy her company and IF something comes off it down the line so be it , but just don't forget the dangers of getting romantically involved with someone in the workplace.

Understandable, but like I said with Lowered Expectations, I am willing to be her friend and I haven't been pushy on her at all... not like when I wrote the beginning of this thread... just like anybody on this forum I can take and not take any of the advice I read... its opinion and fact... depending how a reader wants to take it...

But I enjoy everbody's responses... if I didn't I wouldn't have posted this in the first place... keep them coming positive or negative...

[talaniman]

Do you have a lot of female friends? Do you have to lower expectations to be their friend? Do you check out their body language, and gestures for signs? Just curious.

[jaffeyjoeblaze]

Do you have a lot of female friends? Do you have to lower expectations to be their friend? Do you check out their body language, and gestures for signs? Just curious.

Lets get to the point... im not trying to disrespect your expertise... you are the moderator...

But to answer your question, yes I do most of them are women I've dated in my past... I didn't 'lower' my expectations for them... lets change the phrase 'lowered my expectations' to 'i've come to terms with'... I check everybody's body language and gestures no matter the situation... friends, potential dates, enemies... etc.

[talaniman]

Just trying to figure where your head was at, couldn't see your body language, and words on a page can be misleading.

I have a big thing against workplace relationships, and an even bigger thing about moving fast, and finding out your in deep do-do later. But having fun with friends is different, than having titles, and benefits, and privileges. That at least gives you time to know if someone is even worth putting time, and effort into.

[friend4u178]

lets get to the point.....

Yeah lets...

Bottom line is your doing exactly as you were at the beginning of this thread but just going about it in a different way in your head , I think all the advice you've already received still holds , but your just trying to justify what your doing and calling it something else , taking it slower , lower expectations etc.

Whatever... your choice , but don't say you weren't warned :cool:

[Lucky098]

I'm not a fan of workplace relationships. I see them crumble. I see them interfer with the job itself.. and coming from past personal experience, strange rumors spread like a wildfire.

You sound like a hot head that gets his way a lot. This girl is either into you or isn't. Maybe she wants to take things slow. Maybe she's just looking for someone to hang with.. Its really hard to tell from a simple post on the internet coming as 3rd party.

I think the best way of winning this girls heart without coming off as a frat boy jerkoff is to just be her friend. Go out with her, show her a good time. Don't expect anything.

And I'm sorry if that advise was already posted... didn't read to many posts after the second page

[jaffeyjoeblaze]

:confused:

So the one I left, had a new guy and we recently reconnected because her daughter had a surgery and I was just checking on the situation because mutual friends kept telling me... I had no intentions on being her friend or anything again...

To keep a long story short we kept talking on Facebook, then text, then phone... pretty much she still has love for me and I do for her also BUT she is confused and can't decided on me or him... this is the 3rd time this is happening and I am to the point where I don't care what decision she makes, I just don't want her wasting my time anymore... I am emotionless to anything she seems to say...

She says she needs me in her life and nobody can replace me even when she has tried and she tried to cut off ties with the other guy but he pulled the 'im falling in love with you and I'm attached to your kids' card even though there is assumption he is trying to see other women... lol

She said she wanted to see me and needed to but I am having second thoughts of even hanging out with her as friends... so chances are looking like she won't visit me since I live out of town... which is a blessing in disguise after I thought about it...

Anyway I just don't know how to get her to stop bothering me and just to move on in one direction or another... I really wish she would be single and leave both of us guys alone and figure out what she wants out of life... because she is wasting too much time and playing with emotions...

I wish I never would have contacted her... :mad:
And I'm not about to change my number again... :mad:

[Shadowburn]

Seems to me you're moving on just fine as you don't even care anymore for anything she has to say. You're under no obligations to maintain any contact with her, and in reality you shouldn't. She is messed up one, but it's not you problem, so cut the ties and live happy. She wants to drag you back into old drama and tries to play two men... let her play all by herself by ignoring it.

[jaffeyjoeblaze]

Seems to me you're moving on just fine as you don't even care anymore for anything she has to say. You're under no obligations to maintain any contact with her, and in reality you shouldn't. She is messed up one, but it's not you problem, so cut the ties and live happy. She wants to drag you back into old drama and tries to play two men...let her play all by herself by ignoring it.

Good points... man I just realized I'm so happy!

[CarrotTalker]

Get her to stop bothering you by telling her you don't want to talk to her anymore. Give her the reason you told us here. Then block her on Facebook.

[jaffeyjoeblaze]

Well she deleted me on blackberry messenger and is going to delete my number... I have a feeling this isn't the end but I am relieved...