[nicolii]

Ok this frustrates me. Guys seem to go through their high sexual phase from age 13 to 30. How convenient for them to be able to experience this at an age period where males and females are most likely to be single. Because guys go through this peak at such a young age means they are more able to be free with their selection of women and enjoy the variety of women they pursue without the dramas of ruining a long lasting commitment. (Except for those who are committed early.) On the other hand, women go through their sexual peak around age 25-35. A time where most decent and attractive men who know what they want are grounded in committed relationships. How inconvenient for the woman in complete contrast to the male. We finally get that burst of sexual drive for years only to realise that all of those wonderful guys that we are attracted to are already taken and unavailable. And oh my are guys from age 25 to 40 hot.To me that is absolute torture. And then men wonder why women cheat. What do u guys think

[mudweiser]

I think your putting too much thought into this.

How old are you?

It doesn't matter how old you are 22, 45, 78. There are plenty of great guys out there from barely legal to dead.

...that's just my opinion.

[nicolii]

Im 26. I started getting an unbearable sex drive at age 25 and all I think about is sex. Yet all of the good and hot guys are taken. How to cope. Am in a relationship where my partner barely gives me any sex at all and am dying for a sexual relationship on the side without hurting feelings. That's my point. Guys can get away with it because their sexual peak is when most girls are single so its easier not to hurt her feelings.

[redhed35]

Perhaps if you put aliitle more effort into your relationship the payoff will be better.. there is so much you can do with a trusted partner that you most likely would not do with a stranger.

The down side of having lots of sexual partners is the high rate of std's and sti's in the age group you stated.

[Cat1864]

This isn't about sexual peaks.

You have been looking for someone to tell you it is okay to take what you want since August:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ip-390171.html

I think you need to sit down with your boyfriend (the one you want to marry someday) and have a discussion with him about how you feel. Be honest that you need more and see if there is a way to compromise.

I really don't think this is about you 'peaking' sexually. I think it is about boredom, greener grass and the 'high' of contemplating an illicit affair. I would almost bet that your desire for sex outside the relationship would dry up if your boyfriend said okay because then it would be reality and you wouldn't have the fantasy to cling to anymore.

You are in a relationship so therefore what 'single' men can or can't get away with at any point in time is moot. You could choose to leave your boyfriend and play the field if meaningless sex really sounds that great to you..

[Synnen]

I think you'd find a lot more single guys if YOU were single.

Break up with your boyfriend or hash it out with him. Regardless what he's done, he at least deserves your honesty about contemplating cheating...

Basically, either fish or cut bait. Stop playing mind games with yourself.

[nicolii]

Yes I agree and I have spoken to my boyfriend about having more sex and that I am dissatisfied with the amount that we do it. Although my partner is lovely in every other way (which is why I don't want to leave him), when it comes to sex he simply says "I think we do it plenty of times. Wen always do it." And then if he agrees to it when he doesn't want to (which is common because his sex drive is not as high as mine) I

[nicolii]

Almost feel as though I am raping him which feels terrible.

[Gemini54]

What a load of b/$hit. 'Sexual peak' is just an expression, I met my husband when he was 40 and I was 44 and we've been in our 'sexual peak' for years now.

You're only 26, and I am sorry to be blunt, but you're talking like an immature girl. You think quantity equals quality and all you want to do is scratch a sexual itch. Yes, it does feel good to scratch it, but keep going the way you are and you'll just end up scratching all your skin off.

Instead of trying to bonk your BF senseless all the time why don't you try making love? Sex is much more satisfying when it's meaningful, and you're connected emotionally and spiritually to your partner.

It may be that he's not right for you and you're mismatched. That happens. In any case, if you're dying for a bit on the side then I suggest you get single real quick. It's hardly fair to him is it? You can then bonk all the hot guys in the neighborhood.

[Xrayman]

I feel that the issue is bordering on sexual addiction-in that case you are using him. How about when you feel in the mood-go to your room-"sort" your issue out and leave him alone? Maybe if he's not so badgered all the time, he will ask to participate..

[nicolii]

Wow I'm amazed at the amount of passion and aggression. Especially coming from gemini 54. You must be addicted to this website. And by the way. U were wrong about the advice u gave me last time so id prefer to get it from someone else completely.

[Fr_Chuck]

OK guys are not over the hill at 30, I am ( well lets say over 50) and know several men my age and 4 and 5 times a week is not uncommon for several I know my age. But this is uncommon for most people in any committed relationship.
The issue being people work, come home have to take care of a home, normally have a chlld to care for and by the time they have any "alone" time, most need to rest or sleep to start the day early to go back to work.

[nicolii]

I love my partner. And I believe my sexual urges are interfering with the relationship itself. I know I'm only fantasising about sex because my urges are not being satisfied. And I strongly believe it is happening at this age because of that ticking biological clock inside that says "hurry up and have a baby." I have no other explanation for it. I mean I left a guy years ago because I felt HE was sexually obsessed with ME. And I had not interest in men or sex for 2 YEARS. Now all of a sudden I'm the opposite? Ill let this phase pass.

[Gemini54]

Wow im amazed at the amount of passion and aggression. Especially coming from gemini 54. You must be addicted to this website. And by the way. U were wrong about the advice u gave me last time so id prefer to get it from someone else completely.

Well, we can't be 'right' all of the time. That's why there are different opinions on this site.

You're the one that talked about not getting enough and getting a bit on the side - they are your words. You certainly didn't talk about loving your partner previously, you talked about him being 'lovely'.

Obviously it is your choice whose advice you prefer!

[Cat1864]

You need to get over the idea that fantasizing is a symptom of NOT getting your 'needs' met. Fantasies are a normal thought process just like daydreaming is. It is a symptom of being a human with an active imagination.

Fantasizing is like reading a book. It is your imagination writing the story. Just like authors do when they sit down and write, your brain is pulling in characters from all around you. It is not telling you that you need to have sex with everything that has a penis.

Stop trying to convince yourself that you need sex every hour just because you looked at a guy's rear-end or thought about sex for three seconds. Try writing your fantasies down and/or sharing them with your boyfriend. It might turn him on.

You are not a cat in heat at the mercy of her hormones. You are a human being who can control her sexual impulses, not be controlled by them.

If you really believe that these thoughts are interfering with your relationship, find a counselor and get into therapy.

[nicolii]

Thank you cat 1864. Very true. Im happy with your theory of controlling these raging hormones. The last thing I want is for these hormones to ruin my life so I will get onto it pronto, whatever it takes. Cheers