[MrdanielJ]

Hi there,

I think I need some help on this one. I met 2 months ago a girl. She is studiyng away from home (in my city) and so she doesn´t know anyone except me and my friends.

Suddenly I was spending my free time alone with her, we went out, lunch, dinner... all that type of things... and in the way I earn a crush for her...

I have to say, I'm a complete puppy when I like someone... I do everything for her, and I think she knows.

One time she invited me for dinner in her house. I went, the dinner was very nice, and when I made my move... she turn on the brakes on me.

All the time I kiss her on the cheek she doesn´t reply on mine... She give me the "bye bye" and that´s all... lol

Since the beginning she says to me that she´s not atracted or interested for anybody... She even say that even if she was she is not very good with the "seduction game". I kept that in mind like "ok baby i lead"... lol

She say to me this kind of things , yet what she does it´s quite the opposite... I went out several times with her... and she knows that I like her in the romantic way! And in all of that dates I ussualy turn on my "attack mode". And she always put the brakes... And say the crap "Im not interested or attracted for no one....."

Even once she said she missed me ( she went home spending the weekend ).

She had just one boyfriend (for a long time) in her life and they were friends before starting a relationship, and he insisted a lot for what she told me...

So bottom of line what I think is:

1: She likes me, but not that way...
2: She is afraid of losing the only friends she got in this moment (me and my friends) saying I Don't LIKE YOU!!
3: She is using me and playing with me.
4: She is just shy (very shy) needs more time.

Need some help guys... Im thinking in not saying notjing to her for 1 week ( I speak to her every day)... to let her think... and hopefuly miss me! :)

And do you think!

Thanks

[kctiger]

I have to say, im a complete puppy when i like someone... i do everthing for her, and i think she knows.

You need to work on this, as it is NEVER an attractive quality. It screams of self esteem issues and insecurity.

Her actions seem to merit that she isn't into you as much as you are into her. That is a sign that you need to pay close attention to. While I am not saying nothing could ever happen, it is always very dangerous to have such extreme emotions while the other person remains even keeled. Slow down and just look at the obvious and I think you will have your answer.

[MrdanielJ]

Slow down and just look at the obvious and I think you will have your answer.

Yes, it´s what I think I should do!. and hope for the best! :)

If this don't work it would be a shame... I really like this girl... and I think I can´t be friend of her. She is hanging out with me and my friends... and I'm not the "venguetta type" but I think it could be harsh for me seeing her with other guy if she continues to come along with us.

In that case I hope to not be a friend of mine...

Thanks for the advice!

[jaime90]

This girl says she is "not interested." You have told us several times that she has said it, so here's a translation when a girl says she's not interested: she's not interested.

When she says she's not into the "seduction game" here's what I think she means: She's implying that you are trying to seduce her- even though she has clearly told you that she's not interested.

You're giving her kisses and calling her baby while she probably is starting to feel a little uncomfortable, (if I told a guy that I didn't like him in that way, and wasn't into seduction and he replied with, "That's ok baby, i'll lead." I'd label him a creeper.)

After all you guys just met 2 months ago; what's the big rush?


Her saying she isn't interested isn't crap either- it is her limit, and a woman who knows her limits is admirable. You NEED to respect her limits. You are falilng all over a girl who just wants to be friends with you. Eventually you will lose your friendship, if you don't stop. You're pushing it with this girl, lay off the "romance" that she clearly does not want from you, and just be friends.

[2ndTime]

Either she's really not interested or you are just coming on too fast and strong. Give her space and go do your everyday thing and only let her contact you, but do you know if she is single or has boyfriend? You should ask her. If she tells you that she even has a slight interest in any other guys, then she's not ready for a real relationship.

[MrdanielJ]

This girl says she is "not interested." You have told us several times that she has said it, so here's a translation when a girl says she's not interested: she's not interested.

When she says she's not into the "seduction game" here's what I think she means: She's implying that you are trying to seduce her- even though she has clearly told you that she's not interested.

I never called her "baby" or said " Ok i will lead..." Im not a jerk... Those were things I thought to myself. :)

Many woman told me the line "not interested". And that was not always true. Sometimes they just want to play hard or get more intimate. And that was what I thought.

This girl in the beginning was asking my friends things about me, and how cool I am.

But I suppose you are right, I'm forcing a bit... I could have blown this. Hope not.

I can´t be friend of a woman from who I am attracted to. Not possible for a man.

Thanks

[MrdanielJ]

...then she's not ready for a real relationship.

I would love to see her saying that to Brad Pitt... :)

I´m forcing... that´s a fact... but what does really a woman expects when she invites a man who is into her (and she knows) to have dinner in her place?

[jaime90]

You say that many other woman told you they were "not interested" but they really just wanted to be intimate, and you assumed this girl also wanted to be intimate... What do you want from this woman? Do you want a serious relationship, or a woman who just wants to be intimate and mess around with you like all the others? If you're pursuing a woman, and you don't know what she's after, you need to re-think some things. I wouldn't even consider a guy who just wanted to play around when I'm looking for a serious relationship- you need to know what you want before you go out trying to find it.

Also: I don't think it's impossible for a man to befriend a woman he is attracted to. I think you could be generalizing. (My fiancé and I were friends for over a year- we both knew we liked each other but we kept things at a friendship level- it ultimately protected our relationship from moving forward too fast, and it provided a good foundation for our now, upcoming marriage.) I know that it is possible for a man.
It is surprising to hear someone say that they cannot befriend someone they are attracted to- after all, I always figured that you were supposed to marry your best friend..

[MrdanielJ]

Also: I don't think it's impossible for a man to befriend a woman he is attracted to. I think you could be generalizing. (My fiance and I were friends for over a year- we both knew we liked each other but we kept things at a friendship level- it ultimately protected our relationship from moving forward too fast, and it provided a good foundation for our now, upcoming marriage.) I know that it is possible for a man.
It is surprising to hear someone say that they cannot befriend someone they are attracted to- after all, I always figured that you were supposed to marry your best friend...?

Yes, I´m not perfect :)

I want a serious relationship, I want to look after her.

Im not just attracted, I like her... and it´s not so surprising as you may think. We man usually back of for many reasons... and getting hurt by her because she hook up with another guy is the top reason for me. I have a job and I am studying at the same time... I don't have time neither "head" to deal with that. I think it would be like a black hole.

Im a very simple and pratical man when dealing with woman... I don't have the game in me.. and I know that... I can´t feel free of the "tension"... and many often I force them( in a sweet way ) and sometimes I win! :)

Who invented this made it so complicated! :)

I know she likes me... What I don't know is if she likes me as a friend or if she is considering something more.

What do you suggest? Give her some space? Or I have to continue to be the sweet and pink guy ? She´s lonely... she doesn´t have friends (she´s not from my town)... give her space may sounds like I'm cruel! :)

[Tanzania]

I don't think that she is interested in you in that kind of way. At least not right now. Yeah, she might be shy or have self esteem issues but I think you should play it cool with her. Try not to be so affectionate with you. I bet she probably is going to think something's wrong then. I've noticed when you show someone that you don't like them , that's when they seem to like you more!

[I wish]

If you want a serious relationship, but she doesn't, then you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

You can keep trying to court her, but if her feelings don't change for you, then you could be waiting for a very long time.

I would say that you shouldn't put your life on hold for only her. Don't stop yourself from getting to know other people.

[mr flyguy]

Ok I have several questions 1)me and my girlfriend been talking for seven months and she is bi do I let her talk to females so she doesn't do it behind my back or is letting her talk to other girls a form of cheating ? 2) she just recently moved out of state for a little while till we get an apartment but her ex lives out there and she is cool with his sister and they been talking saying they wanted to hang out so being she is bakk out there should I be worried ? 3) I find myself calling her more to see what she's doing I check her Twitter to see if she is being sneaky should I stop ? I'm always questioning her is that going to make her not love me anymore ? Should I fall back alil so she see where I'm coming from Oo and she blocked me from her social networks because I'm always complaing about something I see what should I do I need good advice because I'm stressed out