[unsure84]

I haven't told anyone about this... if I had a baby now id would be so unhappy. I don't have the money or the time kto put into it... same with my boyfriend... we are not married yet, we are taking things one step at a time, if we had a baby it would screw up our plans. You know? Well if I turn out to be pregnant I'm considering an abortion... any words of advise?? Should I juts have the abortion and not tell anyone, should I discuss it with him and just take the chance?

[J_9]

You need to discuss it with him. This is his child too.

Abortion is by no means a method of birth control. How about adoption?

If it were not for adoption my wonderful in-laws would have no children, I would not have children since my in-laws adopted my husband.

There are other options available besides abortion. Abortion is not painful physically, but is painful emotionally.

This sounds harsh, but is reality.

You will remember for the rest of your life that you killed an innocent baby, a baby that did not ask to be conceived. You will grieve, you will remember that particular day every day for the rest of your life.

Pregnancy is something one must consider when deciding to have sex. The only thing that is 100% effective in birth control is abstinence.

I bring my children up to face the consequences of their actions, as most parents do. Now it is time to face the consequences.

Discuss it with your boyfriend, your parents and his parents. Please make an informed decision.

[Depressed in MO]

Depends on what state you live in as to whether you can legally even get an abortion.
It's not typically something I would discuss openly with a lot of people as you will get answers like "You are killing a baby" and so on and so forth, etc...
A lot of people feel this way, but there are also a lot of people out there who believe that a woman has the right to choose.
Please check out www.plannedparenthood.com for some extra resources in helping you make your final
Decision.
You should discuss this with your current boyfriend, but please do not let him influence you into doing anything you are unsure that you want to do.

Best of luck.

[shygrneyzs]

If you had a baby now you would be so unhappy... so if you are pregnant, you will choose to terminate the life of the unborn child... I think I read that right. If you are not prepared mentally, physically, financially, to assume responsibility for your actions - and I think I am reading that you are not - it is a shame that an unwilling, unsuspecting baby has to pay the consequences. Birth control is free - any public health will give you some. They even have condoms there that they will give out. You want to be an adult in bed, then act like an adult in other areas and protect yourself.
If you are pregnant, yes you have the right to make the choise for an abortion - does your state allow abortions? There are other options such as having the child and placing the child for adoption. But it is your decision. I do not feel sad for you, but I do feel for the possible child.

[J_9]

This girl is on the pill.

I am pro-choice.

However, a person in my family did have an abortion and I see the emotional toll yearly on the day that the abortion was carried out and also on the date that the baby should have been born.

I just want her to make the right decision and to be informed about all of the decisions out there.

[LUNAGODDESS]

I am totally bias when it comes to issues of abortions... today I have two couples that want children and cannot have any... one is adoptioning... and what I understand there are many couples and single women wanting a child... please consider the needs of these people before a decision is made... contact a family lawyer and or an adoption agency... or and speak to your pastor... look and make a serious effort in your state or province to find out information about adoption and hopefully they will give you an alternative to abortion... make some one's life a happy one by giving them the opportunity to rise your child... please do not give up on hope... consider adoption...

[unsure84]

I am on birthcontrol! I haven't miss a single day or hour in nearly 8 years! And we do use protection... that is why I am so flustered with the situation... how is it possible if I do all the things to prevent. I am and adult, and I am talking responsibility for my actions but I do not feel it is fair to bring a person into this world that I can not give 100% too.

[J_9]

It is called "birth control" not "birth prevention" The only thing that is 100% is abstinence.

No, it is not fair bringing a person into this world that you cannot give 100% attention to, you should have thought of that before. Now it is too late.

But there are people out there who would love to give 200% to a child, but they can't have any.

Consider giving happiness to someone who would otherwise not have any.

[SINGLE4]

This is a very contriversial subject. However... I am Pro-Life. I do have friends that have had abortions and down the road, they regret their decision. This is your own flesh and blood you are talking about.

I got pregnant at the age of 17 and abortion wasn't an option for me. I told myself that if I was that irresponsible to have unprotected sex then I needed to pay the consequences and this child is innocent. Believe me... I was young and definitely thought I was not ready to be a mom. I was in college and was having a good time. Needless to say, I don't regret having my daughter. I could have given her up for adoption but I wouldn't be able to live with myself either if I did that! (Even though I do believe in adoptions. There are many people out there that can't have children and want them. Then there are people out there that just because they "aren't ready" decide to abort.)

I had my child, married the man that got me pregnant and the marriage ended after 5 years. I married him because I got pregnant. I was young and dumb.

Do I have any regrets having my daughter... HELL NO! She is the best thing that ever happened to me! She keeps me honest!

If you are persistent about not wanting this child then carry the child for nine months and give him/her up for adoption. This baby deserves a chance at life!

[J_9]

I am pro choice because I believe we should have to choice to do with our bodies whatever we wish. Do I believe in abortion? Under certain circumstances, yes. Others, no.

I am so very happy that my husband's birth parents gave him up for adoption. They were college students from Russia here in the U.S. who were involved in an arranged marriage. The money and marriage would
Have ended had the families back in Russia knew that there was premarital sex.

The couple that adopted him are the best people in the world. He has 2 sisters and one brother. All were adopted except for the oldest sister.

His parents wanted a large family, preferably 6 or more children. After the eldest was born his mother had 15 miscarriages in the span of 2 years. It was devastating, but they began to adopt children who were unwanted pregnancies.

They are the most loving and wonderful people that I have ever met in my life.

Please consider giving your child a wonderful wealthy life like was given to my husband.

[Moonbay]

I haven't told anyone about this....if I had a baby now id would be so unhappy. I don't have the money or the time kto put into it.....same with my bf....we are not married yet, we are takin things one step at a time, if we had a baby it would screw up our plans. ya know? well if I turn out to be pregnant I'm considering an abortion....any words of advise???? should I juts have the abortion and not tell anyone, should I discuss it with him and just take the chance??

No abortions! Why can't you at least have the kid and put it up for adoptions. If you have an abortion the baby, no matter how small it is, will feel the pain of doctors scraping him/her out of your body. People don't think they can feel pain, but the very moment they are given life they can feel pain. All newborns go to Heaven, and when he/she goes to Heaven that baby would wonder "why?" Just don't get pregnant. If you already are, at least think about this. I don't believe in killing new life. It's literally like giving birth anyway and cutting him/her up. Think about it.

[Moonbay]

It may be your body, but that doesn't mean that the life in your body is your to take. It's that of another. People seem to have this mentality that just because the unborn child was not born into the world yet that killing it isn't murder. But it was given life. Therefore, it was murder and in the end God has punishments set for those who commit murder. You've heard of the saying "an eye for an eye". Don't kill what you have irresponsibly have brought into this world.

[Amythest]

There are some adoption agencies and families that will work with mothers birthing children, they will pay for all your needs just as long asas you agree to take care of your body and the child. They will foot the bill, I know you aren't ready, soemparents tell me your never ready to have children. The thing is, I don't believe you should have an abortion, I think you should adopt, there are way too many people out there desperate to have children to take that hope away. Who knows? Maybe that thing in your wob is the one who was going to cure cancer?

[Amythest]

I am pro choice because I believe we should have to choice to do with our bodies whatever we wish. Do I believe in abortion? Under certain circumstances, yes. Others, no.

I am so very happy that my husband's birth parents gave him up for adoption. They were college students from Russia here in the U.S., who were involved in an arranged marriage. The money and marriage would
have ended had the families back in Russia knew that there was premarital sex.

The couple that adopted him are the best people in the world. He has 2 sisters and one brother. All were adopted except for the oldest sister.

His parents wanted a large family, preferably 6 or more children. After the eldest was born his mother had 15 miscarriages in the span of 2 years. It was devestating, but they began to adopt children who were unwanted pregnancies.

They are the most loving and wonderful people that I have ever met in my life.

Please consider giving your child a wonderful wealthy life like was given to my husband.

The part about miscarrages is why to me abortion is almost a slap in the face... I think the reason I am so anti-abortion, is that my parents weren't ready for me and had seriously considered it. The moment I found that out changed everything. It's scary to think about how close to not being able exist I was. Please don't abort. In the end it is your decision, I just think that years down the road you wold regrett it.
You do not seem to have any real good reasons to abort this child... If you said that you had some medical condition that could kill you if you carried this child to full term that could possibly change things but just you not being ready to have a child... then give him/her to adoption.

[JoeCanada76]

I personally would advise you to keep the baby and go through the adoption process. Quite frankly whether you feel it now or later you are going to have so much guilt and issues knowing that you are responsible for killing your child and not even giving him or her a chanch in life. Even if it means a life with a different family that could provide for him or her. So my advice is to talk and discuss this with your family and your boyfriend. Going through this situation will open your eyes to rather your boyfriend is as good as he is, and is willing to stand by you with whatever decision is made. Adoption is the best option, that is my advice and opinion. I would also like to add that an abortion may prevent you from being able to get pregnant in the future.

Joe

[shygrneyzs]

After reading all of the posts have you decided what to do yet? If you are still so worried about getting pregnant, have you considered getting your tubes tied? That operation can be reversed at a later, should you EVER decide you are ready to bear a child and take responsibility for that life.

[J_9]

Most doctors will not tie the tubes of a woman who has not yet had 2 - 3 children and who is under a certain age because the reversal process does not guarantee that a pregnancy will occur.

Of all the doctors and specialists I know the only way they will tie the tubes of a woman who has not had a certain number of children and is youger than their specified age is if pregnancy would be dangerous to the welfare of the woman.

That said... I too would like an update.

[shygrneyzs]

Thanks, J_9. I only mentioned the tubal ligation because I knew two doctors who would do that. One was the county medical examiner and the other was an OB/GYN in a hospital I worked at. Maybe it was not kosher, as they would come in on Saturdays when the OR was closed. It was also 20 years ago.

I still am in favor of this woman practicing abstinence if she is still so worried about getting pregnant and not being to bear the consequences.

[J_9]

Ahhh, I bet you are right. I bet it is not kosher, but like you said, that was 20 years ago and times they have a changed.

I agree with the abstinence too. But I am still wondering if we will get an update.

[shygrneyzs]

I just read today about a new procedure for birth control. A small pliant tube is inserted into the Fallopian tube, allowing tissue to build up and blocking sperm from entering. There was no study included in this report about effectiveness, side effects, or complications. So take it wth a grain or two of salt.