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 Originally Posted by califdadof3
Should have checked the Law before I posted and I apologized - in NY this would be a set-up (Police do not get involved in service of process and it appears they were called in on a physical check which turned into a process service) and server was a relative. I wouldn't take the chance at having service set aside - but, again, I'm in NY. Good catch, good info. |
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JudyKayTee, I know the laws differ in each state.. but please relieze You have been giving me great advice and your also helping me to tone my prejudice in court. Which will defiantly help us. I know some of the advice you gave I did not want to hear it at first but I needed to hear it and that really helped me a lot. I did not know I could serve her until I talked to a DA on the phone and she told me to do it quickly. I was sitting out her house for about 5 hours. I did go up and knock a couple times no one answered. It got dark I saw someone open the door and shut it.. it looked like a little girl. I went to the door again and knocked, no one answered. So I called the police and told them I was worried the little girl was there a lone. They came I told them what I was there to do and how she hidden the child. They made her stand there while I handed her the paper. I can not even explain the look on her face. Needless to say she was not happy.. I guess a lot of the police officers do no like women like her either. The officer that came to our house yesterday came by today and gave my son a print out of the call. I mean wow, he made a special trip to make sure we had that document for court. That is way and beyond the call of duty for a officer in this city. |
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Calidadof3, Here are the boxes I checked for Request for child abduction prevention. Application for Order and supporting Declaration. Question 1. asking your name. Question 2 Do you think the other parent might take the children without your permission to: I checked a. another county in California.. Yes.. B another state... yes c. another foreign country... yes Then asks if parent is a citizen of the country I put NO Asked to explain: I wrote how she has hidden the child for 6 years. 3. Why do you think the other parent might take the children without your permission? Checked A. Checked B. Checked C I also checked other D. Has a history Checked not cooperating with me in parenting Taking the children without my permission I explained how she avoided the visits in the beginning. Question 5. I checked Post a bond of $10,000. Checked 6, do not move without my permission or court order Checked 7. NO travel witout my permission or court order This country the united states, California Checked 8 notify other state of travel restrictions Checked 9 turn in and do not apply for passports or other vital documents Checked 10. Provide itinerary and other travel documents. The children's, copies of round trip airline tickets Addresses and telephone numbers where the children can be reached, an open airline ticket for me in case the children are not returned. Checked 11 notify foreign embassey or Consulate of passpoert restrictions Checked 12 foreing custody and visitation order |
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On the child custody and visitation application attachment (FL-311)
Question 5 I checked it Travel with children She must have written permission from the other parent or a court order to take the children out of Checked State Checked the following counties sacramento, solano and san joaquin. Checked 6. child abduction prevention |
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Califdadof3, JudykayTee and ScottGem, I wanted to let you know about what happened in court yesterday. After over 2 hours of long mediation that my son set in with the mother. He came out and said he gets to see his daughter for right now every two weeks. One of the weekends of the month he has to drive to see her which is a twelve hour trip. The other weekend her mother has to drive here. But then it states they can agree to meet half way. Everything is at the mothers choice. It also, says for right now it is supervised with the mother. He does not get no a lone time right now until his duaghter gets to know him better. Which that part it fine, but it does not state how long that would take. We might have to go back to the courts to fight that one for he can have her more later on after she gets to know him better. My fears are my son will be driving there every other weekend which costs more than 200 dollars to drive. Spending the weekend up there. Then turning around coming home. And when it is her turn to drive she might say, she wants to drive halfway. The next fear she can try to drag this out for years with my son. I had a package put together with tons of proof that she lied about a lot of things the mediator said that would not fly in court and the judge would not even take that into consideration. She did admit not answering the phone when he called in the beginning. My son, being the great person he is.. he said, it is just as much fault for this as she is. In the beginning he was working 16 hour days 6 days a week and it was very hard to do anything about the situation when he was paying child support and taking care of his wife and son at the time on top of everything. I am just worried the order is not very clear on a lot of things. About when they meet halfway. How long his visits can in that day or how long this is going to be before she can spend half her vacations from school with him. She did hire an attorney to do her paper work and I assume the attorney told her she better agree to something. But it sure did make it hard on my son when he is not working and is going to school. The financial burden of the trip falls on me.. and I already have my own financial problems. I am very angry with my son for not considering the financial burden it puts on me. I know that trip costs 200+. He claims he will find a part time job.. but still jobs are not falling out of the sky right now.. I was laid off and I am having difficulty finding work. Well there is what the judge ordered. I feel with out the orders being more detailed in defining how many times 1/2 ways are or how many long these visits with mother present are that it is going to again hurt my son in the long run. The mediator said that the judge would not care about her moving when there was attached child abduction preventions in there. I believe that mediator is not the judge. Again, I like to thank you for all your great advice.. I guess I have to sit back and see how this plays out.. |
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I am racing out the door so I skimmed through this - will be back later. It doesn't sound like a bad result, it really doesn't. It sounds like this might be step #1 in a resolution. (Your son should be very grateful you're on his side and supporting him; not all parents do.) |
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Congratulations on getting something. The bad news is that your eithr using the wrong word or there is something really amiss. A mediator isn't suppose to say anything to you as far as what a court might say. A mediator is only suppose to help steer the conversation and stay focused on the child. If that person really is a mediator then they should be reported. They crossed the line. As far as time goes. If he does good for 6 months then he can request another modification. As far as meeting 1/2 way. That situation is before hand and not after. So it wouldn't work per your example. It has to be agreed upon and equal to both sides. Visitation times ? That should have been stated. That IS what the mediator is for. Also Im wondering how his current wife will feel about him spending so much time with the ex. It might have been better to get the supervision elsewhere. It can reduce conflict. And also keep "her" friends from disrupting the visits. Thank You for letting us know what happened. |
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Ok, I agree with Judy that this is a first step. I also agree with the mediator that the judge is probably not going to be interested in the proof of lies and stuff. But I disagree that he would ignore the child abduction. I also think your son is too nice and screwed himself to some extent. Mediation is designed to free up judges by getting the parties to agree without a trial or hearing. The mediators are not judges, but usually lawyers. They want to get the parties to agree rather than turning it over to a judge. So they may be biased towards getting an agreement. I suspect the mother stood her ground and your son caved. You are probably right that the mother was advised that she would have to give some visitation, otherwise she would lose. So she probably agreed to the minimum her attorneys advised she could. So currently they share in the costs since they have to alternate dropoffs. If she starts requiring meeting halfway on her turns but requiring he come all the way on his turns, then you go back to court with a log of this happening and a complaint that she is not adhering to the spirit of the agreement that they share the costs. Was a GAL appointed for the child? The GAL can help determine when supervised visits are no longer required. I also think that the age of this child (she is more than 6) is such that she should not take too long to get used to your son. Keep us posted! When is the first visit? |
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A GAL was not appointed. Right now my son wants to see how it goes.. He is to nice because he does not want conflict in any way. He was able to see his daughter right after court. He came home grabbed his son and left. The orders are that he was to meet her at her parents house. Her parents had to leave for they can visit a lone with no interruptions. On the 6th of next month he needs to go to Oregon where she is. Then 2 weeks later she is to come down here to Calif. And When they get here. My husband and I have to leave. My son is not married he is divorced but he does have a girlfriend. I hope it is going to be as easy as my son says it will be. They also, put in there open access to phone calls and webcam, and my son needs to send her cards each week. That is not to bad. My son is very excited about seeing his little girl. But he is not allowed to be alone with her until the mother claims the duaghter is ready. (that part bothers me because that could be never) But I agree with you guys there should be a time limit there. It is a very expensive trip to take up there once a month. The mediator got after my son for things like not going to her parents door in the beginning to pound it down demanding to see his daughter. At the time my son lived over 150 miles away and was working 16 hour days 6 days a week. Plus he had a wife and his son was a baby. It made it difficult for my son. But yes, he should have done that. But he would have gotten no where by doing so. The mother did not deny ignoring his phone calls in the beginning and she did not scold the mother. The way it sounded the mediator was more compassionate to the mother. But she did take note of my grandson's achievements in school and she liked that because it does show what a good father my son is. We did have strong evidence against her. She said her house foreclosed. I got a hold of a real estate agent she in return got a hold of a title company and they corresponded in emails. Saying there was not a default on the house. The real estate agent forwarded me that email. Then she had lots of plans to do stuff here in Calif. I got that directly off her face book. She even put down she was returning to work in April from maternity leave at a job in Calif. I thought threw all my investigating that it was very well put together to make her move proof enough that she moved to make it more difficult for my son to have access to his daughter. But she did have paper work she was behind on her mortgage but she did not have a default letter. Then she also, had a letter saying she got a job offer in Oregon. Their daughter does have type 1 diabetes.. and the mediator made comments that her husband had the same illness. I think that is how she won the mediator's compassion. I prepared my son enough to know about how to answer questions about the illness and the mediator did take note that he recognize one eating habits for one person with diabetes does not mean it is going to work for the next person and some other important things like the classes he found to attend. My son was to easy to agree to everything it scares me that there is no stipulations or dead lines noted in the order. My son did the same thing with his x-wife. She took him to court for visitation because she wanted to be able to file for their son on taxes every other year. My son let her.. he did not want a dragged out issue because he thought that would only hurt his son. She does not put no financial obligation into him. My son never denied her visits so the visits was not the problem. I am upset with my son because he is not thinking of his future only the present. I feel if he does not prepare for the what if's he is going to screw himself more. The one time he can not afford or we can not afford to go to Oregon he could be held in contempt of court. And right now money is tight. I will let you let you all know how it goes.. I know in about 6 months I will probably need some really good advice from you all. |
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Hi everyone, I am back again. We traveled over 600 miles for the visit. My son was able to visit with his daughter. I did not get to see her just to respect the court order for they could have bonding time. He did bring his son. As the visit was ending. The mother told my son that their daughter only wants to see him twice a year. She also, mentioned if he wants to see her he needs drive up there because they will not be coming down here. My son told her No, that is not acceptable. The court order states that alternating weekends one weekend my son drives up there and the for the following visit she drives down here. She already made plans for the next visit weekend. She told my son she has a class. My son told her that was okay but she would have to come the following weekend. She emailed him telling him that she will not be here until March 19 which is next month. She said it was to hard for her and the children to travel that far. She already wants money from him outside the child support and there is a court date to get the child support modified. She at least gets to go to that court date. My son never was notified of any child support court dates only the final judgment. She said she is not going to let them modified the child support. I know that is ridiculous she can not speak for the judge. While the visit this weekend. My grandson and granddaughter where playing a dare game. She dared him to lick a window and he did. Then he dared her to lick a wall she did. Then the story is I do not know what to believe. But my grandson dared her to kiss him and that is when my son and the mom walked back in the room and separated them to find out the truth. They never kissed. My grandson has never showed any interest in girls that way. He is only 7 years old. She is 8 years old. But to an email to my son the mom twisted the story around saying words like forced and sexual assault and she is talking to her attorney for the daughter to never be with her brother. What a sick perverted mine she has. We are planning to file contempt papers in court the minute she does not come down here for this month. Wow! This girl is something else. She had her brother and his family there for part of the visit. Which she was not suppose to. Then she went out and bought a hamster for her daughter that day. My granddaughter mostly paid attention to the hamster than her dad and brother. Do we file contempt the first time she does not bring the little girl to Calif. Or do we wait? |
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Originally Posted by TerrieS
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Next question is what about the sexual assault claims she is trying to push on my seven year old grandson? I know it sounds outrageous but she emailed my son stating she is going to talk to her attorney. She turned it all out of whack saying he tried to force her and he didn't.. they never even kissed. I do not know where the dare game came up and him asking for a kiss has never happened before. He has never shown any signs of being interested in girls before. The only kisses he sees is little pecks. Can she use that as an accuse not to bring my granddaughter to California for her visit? My son says that was just innocent kid stuff and she is blowing it out of whack. Which I know she is. But will the courts recognize that too? |
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A 7 yr old is not capable of sexual assault. I doubt if any prosecutor would take that seriously. Even if he was caught touching her inappropriately (which, as I understand was not the case, it was just a kiss), I doubt if there would be criminal prosecution. So let her rant and rave. But do not bring it up the judge. If she does, then explain to the judge what happened. Personally, I would be more likely to believe an 8 yr old girl dared her 7 yr old half brother to kiss her, than that a 7 yr old boy was trying to steal a kiss. |
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Hi, We just had or second visit to Oregon and once again it turned into a nightmare worse than last month. The mother took sneeked my camera and took the little girl to a different room undressed her and took a nude picture of her and called the police and said my son did it. The police showed up and took a report. My son had his son with him and the police did not arrest him. They said they where familiar with parental alienation. They let my son leave with his son. My son explained about the visit the month before when she tried to accuse my grandson of sexual assault. I believe they believed my son is innocent. But they said they can not decide the case needs to go in front of a DA up there. She is getting a restraining order for he can not see his daughter anymore. This whole thing is a nightmare. I am trying to file emergency custody papers against her today. I am still very worried how she can do this with out a thought of another human life.. the thought of her own daughters or another child or what it would do to destroy the life of another human being if she did get away with her sick game. She is surely not fit to have any child in her care if she can do something this sick.. |
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Originally Posted by TerrieS
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The police said I had to talk to the officer on duty that night regarding the report. I called him two days ago and he has not returned my call as of yet. He did tell my son the picture didn't look right and that he got three different stories. He let my son leave with his son. We are back home. |
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