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Jordana27 · Nov 4, 2009, 08:29 PM

I want to find my biological Mother mainly for medical and family history. 1st let me say I do not know her name. My adoption was a closed adoption, my biological mom and my adoptive mom had the same doctor who got them in contact with the lawyer. My Mom has never meet my Biological Mom they never saw, talked nothing to each other. I was born and the next day my parrents went to the lawyer's office and picked me up. I have been told by the law office I have no right to know who she is or anything about her. Also they said I had no right to know about her or my fathers medical history. Basically I know nothing and the chance of me finding out is next to nothing. I was wondering if any one had any ideas on how I could find out something about her, or what if any rights I have to knowing who she is or medical information Iam allowed to have.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 4, 2009, 08:32 PM

If there is some real life threatening medical reason you can hire an attorney and file a motion in court to have that info released. Your adopted parents should know who she is.

Jordana27 · Nov 4, 2009, 08:38 PM

They say they never meet her or know her at all. I have seen there copies of the papers but her area is not filled inn. Also when I called the lawyer they said that the biological and adoptive parrents don't meet. They are very pro-closed adoption and prefer that neather side know names just criminal records, education, money, and so on. No names are ever given out nor do they meet. I would like to know if there are heart problems, cancer, that kind of stuff in there family history.

Synnen · Nov 4, 2009, 08:50 PM

Unless there is a life threatening illness, your chances are next to nil for getting that information.

Birth parents were PROMISED privacy in closed adoptions, and the lawyer's office is right to deny you information that would violate that privacy.

In some cases you can leave your contact information with the agency/lawyer used, and they contact your biological parents (IF they have current contact information), get the information for you, and pass it on. Sounds like this was NOT the case for you.

Your best bet at this point is to hire an LPI or go on reunion websites and start a search--but your odds are VERY low unless your biological parents are also searching.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 4, 2009, 08:53 PM

And if there was, does it really change anything, you should always eat healthy and watch your health. And just because your mom or dad had cancer or a heart attack does not mean you are going to either.

JudyKayTee · Nov 5, 2009, 07:17 AM

Here's my very specific problem with this - OP has cut all ties with her adoptive family. I am not certain of the true reason she is seeking her birth parent(s). https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...ml#post2063200

That is followed by this thread which tells another story - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/person...ml#post2063133.

I also question (based on spelling) whether this person actually is 27 and a college student - although admittedly that does not matter.

Synnen · Nov 5, 2009, 09:38 AM

I'll repeat: closed adoptions are CLOSED.

I hope you realize that most of the time, reunions do NOT go like they are on Oprah--your birthmother may have never told anyone that she had you, and having you show up may cause her to have trouble in her marriage, have her other kids hate her, and make her have to go through the same awful feelings that she had to go through in giving you up. You may be the result of a rape, and you'd make her re-live that. You may be the result of abuse, and make her re-live that.

Essentially, you have NO RIGHT to disrupt her life. I support search and reunion websites, because they only work if BOTH parties are searching, and therefore BOTH want a reunion.

I do NOT support having records opened for ANY reason other than a life-threatening illness.

Your adoptive family is your LEGAL family. You have NO legal right to anything from your birth-family.

Jordana27 · Nov 5, 2009, 11:13 AM

Yes I'am 27 Yes I'am in college. No I can't spell to save my life. My adopted family not including my paretnts do not speak to me period. I do not want a relationship with her if it causes her and pain. I do want to at least atempt to find her if she is trying to find me. I do know that I was not a product of rape or abuse. I was a one night stand and she was too young to raise me but did not want to have a abortion. Her parents wanted her to give me up for adoption. I would just like to know how to go about registering and what I can do to atempt to find her if she is trying to find me.

Synnen · Nov 5, 2009, 11:17 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adopti...on-401680.html

Jordana27 · Nov 5, 2009, 11:18 AM

Also family medical history can cause you to have medical problems and are at greater risk if there is a family medical history of certain things. Regardless of how well you take care of yourself if a certain # of your family have heart problems you are at a greater risk for it. I have talked to 3 different medical Doctors who all say its good to know your family medical history.

Synnen · Nov 5, 2009, 11:23 AM

It's good to know your family medical history--but they will NOT open a closed adoption for that information unless your life is at serious risk---most of the time it is to see if you can find a family member to be a donor sort of thing.

Adoptions now, including closed adoptions, have that information provided up front. Unfortunately, in the past that didn't happen.

Your best bet is to follow the advice given in the sticky I posted the link to in my previous post.

Jordana27 · Nov 5, 2009, 11:31 AM

Thank you Synnen I will try the sites you listed.