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dincher · Oct 31, 2009, 09:19 AM

A good friend of mine makes me feel very uncomfortable with her racist views.

She's always talking about how "blacks should get over it" - meaning their getting offended at jokes, minstrel shows, etc.

This girl is actually a very nice person, but she sure has that flaw, which is not good in my opinion. It's like she uses the race relation topic to bond with other people. I don't know why else she would do that. She also seems to admire blond people for some reason.

I know that when she was a little kid, she was mistaken for not being white - point in case, she's british, with very light skin and the accent and all, but she has dark hair and eyes, so the blondies would make fun of her. They used to call her "wog" - a derogatory term for non whites who are not black either. What I find strange is that she has 1/2 brothers who have a middle eastern appearance but claim to be completely British.

Anyway, I don't want to get too much detail, but the point is that I think it's so weird - and I really do feel uncomfortable when she starts with that. I guess being an American does that to me. :confused:

jmjoseph · Oct 31, 2009, 09:31 AM

Maybe you should find another friend.

Some of the guys that I work with are very racist. But they know that I will not be a part of such discussions, or put up with hateful comments. They ( such comments) are very much against company policy, and will not be tolerated. I sometimes have to remind them of that fact.

You should ask the same of your friend, to not say such things around you. If she continues to do so, simply stop hanging around her. I am quite sure she says other things about minorities than you've mentioned that are even more hateful.

Racism is a ridiculous way of thinking. We are all GOD's children. HE loves us all the same.

Oh, and I am of "Middle Eastern appearance", and I live in Georgia (US).

Jake2008 · Oct 31, 2009, 01:24 PM

It is very uncomfortable to be in the company of people who see no harm in verbal assaults. Even if they're subtle, they are just not funny, and offensive to most. I call it an assault, because if it happens to be about your age, sex, religion, culture, or heritage, and you are of one of those groups that is the nature of the joke, it makes it that much harder to swallow.

An East Indian friend of mine had the best attitude of all. He simply ignored it, or walked away. I wondered for a long time if it really bothered him, and eventually became convinced he never gave it another thought.

He considers anybody in that category as uneducated. He thinks that they really do not understand what they are saying, or simply are not intelligent enough to know, and it doesn't get to him.

You can't cure an idiot.

Gemini54 · Nov 2, 2009, 01:08 AM

If this person is genuinely your friend, then you might at some strategic moment just say to her that the remarks make you feel uncomfortable. Just put it back onto yourself and say that it's your 'thing'.

I agree with Jake though, the best course of action is just to ignore her when she makes the jokes/comments.

I'm a 'wog' and over the years have found it works to have a poker face for this sort of thing and not to give them any energy at all.

stevetcg · Nov 2, 2009, 04:17 AM

Originally Posted by dincher

This girl is actually a very nice person,

No she isn't - she is a racist and deserving of you contempt, not friendship.

dincher · Nov 2, 2009, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by Gemini54

If this person is genuinely your friend, then you might at some strategic moment just say to her that the remarks make you feel uncomfortable. Just put it back onto yourself and say that it's your 'thing'.

I agree with Jake though, the best course of action is just to ignore her when she makes the jokes/comments.

I'm a 'wog' and over the years have found it works to have a poker face for this sort of thing and not to give them any energy at all.

Lolol, well I too am a "wog", so maybe that's why it makes me feel uncomfortable - although she doesn't really talk about wogs more about blacks and arabs.

araina · Nov 10, 2009, 02:16 PM

Uknow what... she is insecure.. since she has been through the racist attacks she wans to talk about it more and more and make herself feel she is white...
She doesn't mean to hurt you she wans to reassure herself and let people know she is a white...

And you she is damn stupid to talk lik that about blacks.. she is tooooooo insecure about her own colour and looks...