[DJ 'H']

Oh I know we still have a long way to go. He and I are just starting again - getting to know one another - taking it a day at a time. Like tonight - I waited for him to contact me... later replied - we had a fun conversation for a bit and then bid each other good night. I am just letting things unfold naturally which is what happened on Saturday.

A simple DVD night turned into an oncore of holding hands and lots of kissing.

I spent the evening with him and his family last night just watching TV and then at the end of the knight kissed him, said goodnight and went home.

Tonight just texting.

Tomorrow night who knows - just a day at a time - no pushing - still acting with caution?

Wildcat, skell, talliman, jesushelper and everyone thank you so much for everything - but one thing I will say (just as skell pointed out) still not quite out of the woods yet - so I still need you guys to just point me the right direction if I happen to slip of course - I shouldn't think I will but having a bit of backup is always a reassurance :)

[Skell]

Well I think it is just important to not just slip back into old habits that for whatever reason didn't work last time. I know this whole thing was pete's doing but I'm sure looking back there may be things that you wished you had done a little better. Maybe not. But if there is well make sure that this time you do those things that little better.

And I think it is important that you keep your expectations of Pete at a level that is beneficial for yourself. Don't just let Pete back in because he wants to all of a sudden and because it is what you always wanted. I think he has to prove to you that he is capable of not only acting mor mature this time as a partner but also as a dad. You can't have him running back and forth indecisive like he has in the past simply because you are that much in love with him that you will allow him to do as he pleases. You need a man both you and your daughter can trust and depend on to get and give all the love you need.

So just take it slow. You don't have to be available to him all the time. Make him miss you a little. Make sure you still have a life outside pete as well. Continue to do the things you have done over the past few months. Keep living that life as it seems to be what has helped to bring pete around. So it will probably be the thing that will keep him there as well.

[Wildcat21]

Communication is king. SLOWLY start talking - not yet - but soon - about what you both want and need.

This is a marathon - not a race.

[valinors_sorrow]

Slow development, clear gentle talking, no "stuff" from the past-- you are two new people in a totally new relationship despite how it may seem some of the time. I quietly sing "Oh happy day." LOL

[DJ 'H']

You are absolutely right. It is as I said to my mum a new beginning. Where as the past is now totally irrelevant for the best part of this brand new relationship - it does still bear a small part on our future. I have learnt that seeing him all the time is not important - (not that I did before and I did not stop living last time) - just I know what's important to me and Isla will always come first. Pete knows that. Isla is the most importnt thing to me.

I will continue to carry on my life as I did before. Prime example tonight I made plans for a friend to come over - she did not turn up - however my auntie did - so I had her company instead - but I will say he text me first - not other way round - I know how to make someone miss me and I guess its playing hard to get in a small funny kind of way.

I am not prepared to screw up now that I have come this far? Xx

[talaniman]

I like what Skell wrote about having a life outside of Pete, we have been calling it balance. Pete is a part of your life, but not a good idea to make him your life. You are responsible for your own happiness, not Pete. To be healthy in this way will make your relationships healthy. I hope Pete can realise the need for balance and be healthy himself, now that would really work!

[DJ 'H']

I have always maintained a life outside Pete v- even when we were together before - something I learnt from an ex partner a few years ago - so no worries there. I am strong willed and would not ditch my friends or change my plans for anyone.