[MorganHills]

My granddaughter is 2 years 4 months however she was born at 30 weeks gestation. She seems emotionally immature but "bright" with a vocabulary of over 500 words. She will play with older children but often takes a long time to "warm up" and do activities that other children just get in and do. She has to make her own sandwich, empty contents onto her own plate etc. and often cries if she isn't doing as she wants. Since about 15 months she has wanted 2 of everything and will break something (biscuit etc) in half if she can't have 2. It seems to be mixture of wanting her own way but also that she is planning what she wants to do and of course I am not on the same page all the time. She has great concentration skills and will complete a whole stickerbook in one sitting. She loves books and finds the tiniest of creatures even if it hidden in a tree or in a label without it being mentioned. She knows her colours and shapes, differentiates pink from purple, light from dark, small from big etc.

It seems she has advanced memory skills, and is matching and classifying objects. She can count to 10 using objects and knows the letters which start words like mum, dad, dog, cat, boat, dolly etc. as she puts the magnetic letters up and says them. She can read a few words which is only rote learning though. The other day I missed a turnoff to go home some 10kms away (she had been that way once 3 months ago) and she said "you go that way" and pointed. I didn't think I had heard her right but I had actually missed the turn by then on the motorway). She never forgets the sequence of activities once she has done them a couple of times. Like at dancing, which she will only watch and cries if I try to get her to join in (she has been twice), she turned to me and said "What's next" after the children had done 3 activities. Then she answered her own question with the correct dance to come and starting doing the actions. She seems to watch and absorb information and then uses it in the right context. She does not like new places and appears to go into sensory overload sometimes and cries/wants to go home and asks to go. Her mother is in the "gifted" range with an IQ of 148 but unlike her little girl, she was a very emotionally composed infant/child. Her father's family is similarly intelligent and unfortunately there is some Asergers in his family with a sister who is "genius" level. Some of his siblings social skills are questionable whereas we come from very social families. This little one does socially engage, gives good eye contact, has a sense of humour and plays tricks on us. She is just non-compliant to the usual activities and seems to "march to her own drum".

Is she really "bright" or is she likely to have Aspergers? Should we have any concerns or find out how to best provide her with a balanced preschool experience that allows her to develop emotional regulation. How can we help her emotional development so that she can enjoy her abilities and be more socialised with children her own age? Her adjusted age 2 year old Stanford Binet test showed above average skills (nothing "gifted) except for gross motor development, however, she was non-compliant for many of the activities, and stayed doing activities she found interesting.

Any advice will be appreciated.

[twinkiedooter]

She's only two years old and already you're pushing her to act emotionally more like an older child. Give her some time to grow up. When she's 3 or 4 have her tested professionally for the Asberger's. In the meantime, don't push her. She sounds like she's doing just fine. She was, remember, an ultra early bird, and it's going to take time for everything to fall into place with her body and mind and emotions. Don't try to judge her too soon on this. Just enjoy her now. She just may surprise you in the end.

[MorganHills]

Thanks for your advice. I may sound like I am pushing her to act like an older child so I musn't have been clear. Hoewever, she is not acting as maturely as any of the other children who are just on 2 years and upwards. I do think her prematurity is a significant factor, but I was asking if we should be concerned about her at this point. I guess the possibility of Aspergers is a little distracting. Yes, we do enjoy her immensely as she is full of surprises and lots of fun much of the time.

[twinkiedooter]

You must take into consideration she was a premie. Sometimes it does take them a little longer to develop normally. I don't really think this should be of a paramount importance at this point.

[J_9]

There is no nned to be concerned about her at this age. She will adjust.

Is she in preschool yet? She may need to be with other children her age to learn certain social skills.

[MorganHills]

Thanks to Twinkiedooter and Health Expert. I will just relax and enjoy her. Guess we can get caught up in being fearful of anything left of the usual. She does 'socialise' with children her own age however she interacts best with older children. As she is only 28 months she is not at preschool but does have top quality daycare one morning per week, playgroup with her Mum, a day per week with her schoolteacher grandmother and cousin the same age, and then a morning with me to go dancing, playground/library etc. Enough said on this topic... Thanks, I have been reassured of the individual differences that are still within the norm.

[KATsince2006]

Hi!I am very interested in your story.I was almost like that!If I were you, I wouldn't ignore it.Why?Let me tell you my story.My life was probably a lot more complicated but maybe you will find it some how helpful.
I was born at 7 month which is awfully early, but I was a very healthy baby and my size and weight was normal. My mother was told to keep an eye on me at all time because I will probably have health problems. Well, no I didn't and I still don't.)I didn't know how to talk,crawl or walk until one y.o. and I left my mom and her friends speechless, when I walk to the kitchen asking for water for the first time, like it was normal thing for me, on my first birthday.I never had a lot of toys,and I enjoyed playing with rocks,coins and stuff like that.Like your granddaughter, I would first observe in my dance class and that join in. Teacher thought I was shy but no I wasn't.This is the way I learn Physical things, that's how I learned ice and roller skating,skiing,swimming,bike riding, and many,many more activities.I am an individual thinker and don't like when people push me into learning something but I also hated when they ignored me. I was always a leader and very sensitive,I got frustrarated when something didn't go well or my way so I cryed a lot(I am still that way, its not an amateur, it's a sensitivity.).I also used to ask a lot of questions,and if you grandchild ask you a questions,answer, because it very important. My point is you should support her and understand her frustrations.
My mother and my father worked a lot, but my dad tended to spend more time with me. I was a daddy's little girl. After I lost him, my grandfather became my new father and my grandmother became my new mother because now my mom had to work more that ever.I don't know if I knew all the colors by the age of 4 or read, but I know that I could read on my own before I went to school, I thought myself how to read but no math .I was like any regular kid but awfully different. Because no one ever done anything about any of my differences, I've been laghted at and judge badly by others for no reason. I was never happy, I skipped 80% of school before 5th grade because I had no girlfriendsl,I had bad grades because of the teachers(yes I blame them, I have a lot of reasons, major reasons)
After I lost my grandparents I was phsycologicly hurt and I still am.I lost the only people that understood me. Please don't just observe her life but incurege her with what she is doing. My life story goes on and on but I decided to tell you just the toddler years since she is a toddler. I just learned about gifted because my IQ is 170 so I can't tell you much about it but you daughter IQ seems to fall in a gifted range so it possible that you granddaughter gifted too. About new places, that's weird cause I loved new places and I explored every city,town or village Ive been to, love new places.It very nice of you to be concerned about her,but I believe she would love the understanding from you. I will never forget my grandmother,she was the best in the hole world)),and I bet you are too. Good luck.

[heggis]

For want thing you should be a very proud grandmother, gifted children need to grow in a special environment to use their maximum potentials. You should interact with her and challenge her, play <a href="http://www.myvocabulary.com">vocabulary games</a> with her or math games. You should prepare yourselves for what's coming.