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    ssuding's Avatar
    ssuding Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 28, 2009, 01:16 AM
    Boy friend owns house
    Me and my 2 children moved in with my boyfriend in a house he owns outright.[no mortgage payment]. Anyway, to make long story short, I told him 2 days ago, I was wanting to move out cause, I just can't handle living with him anymore. He said he wanted his key back and I said no, I need it to get in. [ I am not stupid on what he was planning to do] I haven't found a new place as of yet. Anyway, lastnight he asked for the key again, I said no. He got angry and took the lock and knobs off the front door but, not off the back door. I told him he had better put the knobs and lock back or I would call the sheriff because, I have 2 children here and that is called child endangerment. He threw the knobs and all out in the front yard in the dark and said, call the sheriff.
    So, I did and they let me know that it's his house and he can do what he wants to it but, they also told him that the children and myself live here so it my house too. I told them that he has harassed me for 2 days and it making it impossible for me to go look at another place for fear of being locked out or keeping our things. He told me he was going to have the electric turned off today. I live in Indiana and I need help on what my rights are. I just wanted to leave in peace but, he won't let me.
    Thanks for any help.

    >Moved from Real Estate Law<
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
    BossMan
     
    #2

    Oct 28, 2009, 01:25 AM
    In all honesty what do you expect.
    You have told him you can no longer live with him and you're moving out.

    COME ON WAKE UP!!

    YOU are the one being UNREASONABLE in this.
    You are expecting to live there until you find alternative housing, yet you are refusing to comply with his requests.

    What do you think would happen after you told him you were living??
    Did you really expect him to take it calmly.

    WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON!!

    To cap it all you are using YOUR children as a weapon against him.
    How LOW is that!!

    Rights, what rights.
    As you have already said, and so has the Sheriff, it's HIS house.
    YOU have ZERO rights in that regard.
    You are simply his (ex)girlfriend and that's it.

    Get a grip and get a life! [/rant]
    ssuding's Avatar
    ssuding Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Oct 28, 2009, 01:46 AM
    No, I am not using my children againt him at all. I expect him to be mature and let me get a new place to move in a reasonable amount of time without fear of not being able to get back in and get our belongings. I don't have a problem giving him his key after, I move out. The man has NEVER in 5 yrs. Locked his door and now cause, I want to move he does, bull!!
    By the way the children are NOT his and you are mean and have not giving me any good advice at all. All, you have did is to put me down. The sheriff said, it is my house TOO!
    Is there anyone out there who can honestly help without BASHING not knowing the whole story?
    Quote Originally Posted by Curlyben View Post
    In all honesty what do you expect.
    You have told him you can no longer live with him and you're moving out.

    COME ON WAKE UP !!!!!

    YOU are the one being UNREASONABLE in this.
    You are expecting to live there until you find alternative housing, yet you are refusing to comply with his requests.

    What do you think would happen after you told him you were living ?!?!
    Did you really expect him to take it calmly.

    WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON !!!!!

    To cap it all you are using YOUR children as a weapon against him.
    How LOW is that !!!

    Rights, what rights.
    As you have already said, and so has the Sheriff, it's HIS house.
    YOU have ZERO rights in that regard.
    You are simply his (ex)girlfriend and that's it.

    Get a grip and get a life !! [/rant]
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
    BossMan
     
    #4

    Oct 28, 2009, 02:04 AM
    I told him he had better put the knobs and lock back or I would call the sheriff because, I have 2 children here and that is called child endangerment.
    Not using your children against, would you care to rethink that?

    This just makes it worse:
    By the way the children are NOT his
    As I said, what did YOU expect after your announcement??

    Did you honestly think he'd simply allow you to remain in HIS house while you are making arrangements to leave him!!

    Come on.
    ssuding's Avatar
    ssuding Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Oct 28, 2009, 02:17 AM

    What would you have done? Sneak out? I understand about him not being happy about me moving but, neither of us have been happy about how things have been going so, what would you suggest? Stay and everybody be miserable?
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
    BossMan
     
    #6

    Oct 28, 2009, 02:19 AM
    Make sure you have plans in place BEFORE dropping such a bomb shell.
    Hindsight is a wonderful thing though isn't it.

    So it's now time to get your bottom in gear and move out, NOW.
    The animosity is only likely to get worse.
    ssuding's Avatar
    ssuding Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Oct 28, 2009, 02:34 AM

    True enough but, I do know in Indiana a judge will give me 30 days. That's more than enough time for me to move and everyone is on the same page and protected.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Oct 28, 2009, 08:42 AM

    Actually, if you don't own the house nor did you sign a lease, you can be kicked out of the house at anytime. You really should have thought things through. If you were planning on moving out, I am sure it didn't happen one morning. You have thought about this for some time, in which you should have been looking for a place to live.

    I don't see how this is the guys fault
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #9

    Oct 28, 2009, 09:39 AM
    Isn't there somewhere else that you can live temporarily until you find your own place? Friends? Relatives? Coworker?

    The sooner you get out, the better. It's an extremely unhealthy environment for your children and waiting for you to find your own place is not in the best interest of your children.
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
    Senior Member
     
    #10

    Oct 28, 2009, 09:50 AM

    When you broke up with him, he has absolutely no obligations to you. Find someone to live with as soon as possible, friend, family, co-worker, don't be shy to ask around.
    unicorn1's Avatar
    unicorn1 Posts: 19, Reputation: 4
    New Member
     
    #11

    Oct 28, 2009, 09:58 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Romefalls19 View Post
    Actually, if you don't own the house nor did you sign a lease, you can be kicked out of the house at anytime. You really should have thought things through. If you were planning on moving out, I am sure it didn't happen one morning. You have thought about this for some time, in which you should have been looking for a place to live.

    I don't see how this is the guys fault
    I agree
    Imabadman's Avatar
    Imabadman Posts: 303, Reputation: 135
    Full Member
     
    #12

    Oct 28, 2009, 10:46 AM

    OP I'm sorry for your troubles and I can only imagine how hard this is right now. Part of me thinks you were trying to be honest and sincere the other part says you attempted some manipulation to 'control' the situation. An ultimatum of sorts. Honestly don't know, don't care. Let's get you through this.

    I have to agree with the others. There's a saying that goes something along the lines, “Don't crap where you sleep.” Well, it's to late and it's going to stink like poo till you get out of there. If I were you I would do whatever you can to evacuate the place ASAP. Even if you must leave possessions. Do this for your kids, get them to a healthy/healthier environment. If your worried about your toaster… get a new one. You get my point, even Indiana says it, "Kids First".

    HOWEVER, prior to leaving you can photograph and/or catalog all your possessions. If he refuses to give your possessions back you'll actually have a fighting chance of a favorable outcome in court, i.e. possessions, property damage, loss, etc. In fact a Sherriff will escort you to retrieve them if you so wish. Where as thinking you'll get 30 days to stay in HIS house with no lease… hun, you don't even have squatting rights. As I understand for some brief research, note I am NOT a lawyer, he can toss you out at any time.

    Good luck with your situation.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #13

    Oct 28, 2009, 11:02 AM

    First, I've moved this to the Real Estate Law forum, this is about your legal rights, not your relationship.

    Second, while I agree with CurlyBen that you screwed this up, you do have rights. You don't say how long you have lived there but if you are getting mail there and have your things there, then you have established residency. Therefore, he has to legally evict you according to the laws of your state. This means giving you 15-30 days notice to vacate. If you don't then he can file for an eviction order.

    What you should have done is find a new place to live FIRST. Then tell him you would be moving out a day or so prior.
    ssuding's Avatar
    ssuding Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #14

    Oct 28, 2009, 11:19 AM
    Thanks for your input really. He came looking for me.[ Not an excuse!] Just a fact begging me to come back to him,and the I love and want you back OK? I screwed up by listening to him . I don't hate this man but, I think it's better for me and my children to stay to ourselves in a family way because, me and my children are very close. We love each other and protect each other. As far as a lease ,There isn't one and NO, I can't be put out in the state of Indiana . He first, must take me to court and the judge will give me 30 days here. If, that were true what you said , the sherriff would have made me leave lastnight. The sherriff told us BOTH that they can't make me move. I feel he doesn't want me to move but, is angry. The reason, I am upset and wanting to move is because, everything is about him. He thinks he should come before my children... NOT going to happen ever!! You are right I should have thought this through... I never said it was all his fault, I said, Grow up!! I want to know why am I the bad guy, when HE is talking about having the ELECTRIC shut off cause, he's mad at me and punishing the children by doing that?? [QUOE=Romefalls19;2056329]Actually, if you don't own the house nor did you sign a lease, you can be kicked out of the house at anytime. You really should have thought things through. If you were planning on moving out, I am sure it didn't happen one morning. You have thought about this for some time, in which you should have been looking for a place to live.

    I don't see how this is the guys fault[/QUOTE]
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #15

    Oct 28, 2009, 11:22 AM

    Scott,

    She has no legal rights as she does not pay any rent. All that would happen is that they would point her to the nearest open halfway home.

    Just because she established that she gets rent there, it does not mean that she has a right to stay there if she is not wanted there. If his name is solely on the title and mortgage, he can throw her out. I went onto several legal sites in Indiana for this intel.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #16

    Oct 28, 2009, 11:25 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ssuding View Post
    Thanks for your input really. He came looking for me.[ Not an excuse!] Just a fact begging me to come back to him,and the I love and want you back ok? I screwed up by listening to him . I don't hate this man but, I think it's better for me and my children to stay to our selves in a family way because, me and my children are very close. We love eachother and protect eachother. As far as a lease ,There isn't one and NO, I can't be put out in the state of Indiana . He first, must take me to court and the judge will give me 30 days here. If, that were true what you said , the sherriff would have made me leave lastnight. The sherriff told us BOTH that they can't make me move. I feel he doesn't want me to move but, is angry. The reason, I am upset and wanting to move is because, everything is about him. He thinks he should come before my children.........NOT going to happen ever!!! You are right I should have thought this through.............. I never said it was all his fault, I said, Grow up!!! I want to know why am I the bad guy, when HE is talking about having the ELECTRIC shut off cause, he's mad at me and punishing the children by doing that?????????????? [QUOE=Romefalls19;2056329]Actually, if you don't own the house nor did you sign a lease, you can be kicked out of the house at anytime. You really should have thought things through. If you were planning on moving out, I am sure it didn't happen one morning. You have thought about this for some time, in which you should have been looking for a place to live.

    I don't see how this is the guys fault
    [/QUOTE]

    There does have to be the lease, the Sheriff didn't make you leave due to the kids. Yes, he will make it tough to have the kids thrown out with you as it will complicate things.

    You're the bad guy because you told him you are moving out, and then expect to stay in HIS house while you try to find another place to live
    ssuding's Avatar
    ssuding Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #17

    Oct 28, 2009, 11:29 AM
    Thanks for yor reply but, It's true WE were told by the Sherriff, She don't have to leave it's her house too. I'm trying to do what is best for my children. His own family says, Leave her alone. This isn't about a toaster or such. I agree, with the pics Idea... thanks.
    Quote Originally Posted by Imabadman View Post
    OP I’m sorry for your troubles and I can only imagine how hard this is right now. Part of me thinks you were trying to be honest and sincere the other part says you attempted some manipulation to ‘control’ the situation. An ultimatum of sorts. Honestly don’t know, don’t care. Let’s get you through this.

    I have to agree with the others. There’s a saying that goes something along the lines, “Don’t crap where you sleep.” Well, it’s to late and it’s going to stink like poo till you get out of there. If I were you I would do whatever you can to evacuate the place ASAP. Even if you must leave possessions. Do this for your kids, get them to a healthy/healthier environment. If your worried about your toaster… get a new one. You get my point, even Indiana says it, "Kids First".

    HOWEVER, prior to leaving you can photograph and/or catalog all your possessions. If he refuses to give your possessions back you’ll actually have a fighting chance of a favorable outcome in court, i.e. possessions, property damage, loss, etc. In fact a Sherriff will escort you to retreive them if you so wish. Where as thinking you’ll get 30 days to stay in HIS house with no lease… hun, you don’t even have squatting rights. As I understand for some brief research, note I am NOT a lawyer, he can toss you out at any time.

    Good luck with your situation.
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
    Ultra Member
     
    #18

    Oct 28, 2009, 11:29 AM

    Does anyone have any sources they can cite? I've always heard what scott is saying, about establishing residency and having some time before you can really be thrown out. Are Indiana's laws really that different from all the other states?
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #19

    Oct 28, 2009, 11:31 AM

    I know personally that in NJ and several other states, if you do not pay rent or own the home you CAN be kicked out. I've had friends get kicked out by their parents and cops were called and they said "sorry, you don't own the home"
    ssuding's Avatar
    ssuding Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #20

    Oct 28, 2009, 11:34 AM
    Thank you, that's what I thought. I know I have rights and yes I have mail coming here and my children are registered in school from this address and yes, he must take me court. Your right I should have done more before... Thanks so much.
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    First, I've moved this to the Real Estate Law forum, this is about your legal rights, not your relationship.

    Second, while I agree with CurlyBen that you screwed this up, you do have rights. You don't say how long you have lived there but if you are getting mail there and have your things there, then you have established residency. Therefore, he has to legally evict you according to the laws of your state. This means giving you 15-30 days notice to vacate. If you don't then he can file for an eviction order.

    What you should have done is find a new place to live FIRST. Then tell him you would be moving out a day or so prior.

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