[JudyKayTee]

Definately sounds like hes cheating, in my experience if he is a cheater he will also be a very good liar and will go to any lengths to conceal it,but like all liars he will get confident slip up although may take time,therefore if it is proof you need now the only thing you can do(if you can cope with the confrontation)is follow him. Catching him there and the reaction on their faces will give you all the proof you need.

In actual practice this is dangerous and the "other woman" can very well have OP arrested for stalking.

Facial expressions are not legal grounds so, again, if the question is proving infidelity for a Court proceeding you need more than following people and seeing if they appear startled to see you.

[NowWhat]

To say "oh definetly a cheater" or "no he's not" - there is no way for any of us to know for sure.
I can give my opinion and say - it doesn't look good. That's for sure.

If you need to know for sure, 100% yes or no - then you should hire a P.I. as someone has already suggested.

You could also open the lines of communication and ASK your husband or tell him your concerns. You should know him well enough to know if he is lying.

I would say - trust your instincts - they are probably rarely wrong.

[bigblack]

From a woman who has already gone through losing everything from her first marriage and getting on in years... I think it's very prudent and reasonable for the OP to be taking care of her financial security for the future. Sadly, it does seem to me that the marriage is over if her husband is, in fact, cheating (the OP seems to have enough evidence to prove he is to me, but to the courts... I don't think so).
So Devorameria... do you want to save your marriage? Do you love him? Could you forgive an affair? If you want to save your marriage I think the other people's comments on talking to your husband is the way to go. If you know in your heart that it's over after an affair and you want to preserve your retirement $$$$... get actual proof of an affair that can stand up in court.

Take care.

[JudyKayTee]

Looking at it from the outside or not - and you can choose not to believe me - going to the house of the suspected girlfriend and knocking on the door and watching to see if the husband runs out can get a person arrested.

I work in the system; I do these investigations from both sides.

Emotional or not the law is the law.

I have never heard the expression not seeing the wood for the trees. I have only heard not seeing the forest for the trees. Believe me, I see the bigger picture.

But back to the discussion - if the OP wants proof for Court the entire "knock on the door and look at their guilty faces" idea is NOT going to work.

[Fr_Chuck]

First I have deleted a dozen of so posts and their responses.

I would suggest esp in legal sections, while it is a open, this is not a place for opinions or what you see on Quincy or some TV show. We have professions from police officers, attorneys, PI and more here that live with this every day. So please if you are guessing or saying what sounds good, remember common sense is not legal often.

But you will gain nothing at all by going there in person, it will still be your word against his in court, he can merely lie that he was not there, or if he was, she is merely a old friend.

You will want a PI who would perhaps get a photo of a kiss at the door, and more.

But on the other hand, why are you not going to the auctions, or flea markets with your husband. When he gets ready to go, merely say great lets both go.

[NorseThor]

You don't need to play detective with this guy. Karma will insure that he pays the price for all his negative deeds. Focus on your personal and spiritual growth, cause you are wasting your energy on his behaviors. Anxiety can catch up with you if you allow him to control your life. Take back control of your life and focus on things that will make you feel better.

Thor

[JudyKayTee]

You don't need to play detective with this guy. Karma will insure that he pays the price for all his negative deeds. Focus on your personal and spiritual growth, cause you are wasting your energy on his behaviors. Anxiety can catch up with you if you allow him to control your life. Take back control of your life and focus on things that will make you feel better.

Thor

The question is how this OP proves infidelity because she doesn't want to take a financial beating.

I do not see that you have answered that question.

All possible advice has been given; time to close?