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chargerssuck101 · Oct 25, 2009, 11:48 AM

My ex girlfriend Michelle broke up with me mid June and have been broken up for about 4 months now. During our breakup I have been seeing someone else but all I think about is Michelle. Michelle and I agreed and continued to be best friends. We talked almost everyday and hangout when we could. About 2 weeks ago Michelle met her new boyfriend and a few days after the girl I was seeing broke up with me. I love Michelle and miss her so much and she know this I believe but I'm trying not to show it. I tell her I'm happy for her and her new boyfriend. But as of lately Michelle has barely noticed me and she doesn't seem to interact wit me. I do see her everyday and shell say the occasional hello. Other than that she does glance at me to see me smiling and having a good time but I don't know if that means something or not. Anyway our friendship seems like she doesn't want to be in my life or whatever... I'm not sure. She did ask me to go to the Celtics game with her but she asked before she met her new boyfriend. I don't know what to do. She means so much to me.

ChihuahuaMomma · Oct 25, 2009, 11:55 AM

You're no longer together. She's moved on. She's letting you off easy. You need to move on as well.

Cat1864 · Oct 25, 2009, 01:43 PM

It's time to let her go.

You are very close to having an obsession for your ex if she is all you think about when you are dating another girl. That is very disrespectful of the girl who wanted your attention and not to be a stand-in for the ex.

The ex has made her choice and is obviously trying not to flaunt her new status in front of you. Respect her boundaries and give yourself time to heal and get rid of the baggage from the relationship before you get into another rebound situation. No woman deserves to be treated like she is less desirable than another one.

rockie100 · Oct 25, 2009, 01:56 PM

It was this contact, after you two had broken up, that didn't allow you to move on. She knows if she had contact with you, her new relationship would end like yours did. I know its hard, but in time you will not miss her as much. Your next relationship will have a shot if you let yourself get over this one first.

88sunflower · Oct 25, 2009, 02:01 PM

Well maybe she was keeping contact with you to be polite and not to hurt your feelings so much.

Maybe she is uncomfortable with the feelings you still have for her while she is moving on and is happy. For this she may have decided no contact with you is the best rule to follow. Do you really want contact with her while she is with another man? Won't you want to ask questions and make statements in hopes she will come back to you?

I think you need to get over her and be comfortable with her moving on before you become friends and hang out. She doesn't want to be with you, she moved on. I am sorry your holding feelings for her, but at this point the only one hurting is you and you need to heal.

Keep an open mind when your dating and you may find yourself happy with another woman.

sully123 · Oct 25, 2009, 02:51 PM

Sounds like she was trying to let you down easy. She has moved on with a boyfriend into a new relationship. That's what you need to do! Keep seeing her and trying to talk to her won't let you heal, and she has moved on. You can't be friends that soon, the relationship just broke up a few months ago, that take time.

chargerssuck101 · Oct 26, 2009, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

It's time to let her go.

You are very close to having an obsession for your ex if she is all you think about when you are dating another girl. That is very disrespectful of the girl who wanted your attention and not to be a stand-in for the ex.

The ex has made her choice and is obviously trying not to flaunt her new status in front of you. Respect her boundaries and give yourself time to heal and get rid of the baggage from the relationship before you get into another rebound situation. No woman deserves to be treated like she is less desirable than another one.

Okay first of all I haved moved on just not entirely because I do care about this girl. Secondly she is flauting her new boyfriend and its pissing me off. Quite frankly I think she's being a little rude about it like she's trying to get under my skin. Epecially on Facebook. Maybe she's trying to make me feel bad by seeing all her new found love for her boyfriend but I'm not letting it break me. And if she cut me off completely then why is she still taking me to the Celtics game? When I'm with another girl I show that I'm having a good time and all my attention is towards them instead of michelle. But there's the fact that I still care/ love her and prob always will. I don't like giving up on someone and if there's a way then maybe ill find it. Anyway I'm not obessed with this girl and if there's any type of shot I have with her then my friendship needs to be like it used to.

ChihuahuaMomma · Oct 26, 2009, 10:13 AM

You have not moved on. If you haven't move on entirely, you haven't moved on. No contact is best to heal. Stop talking to her period.

How is she flaunting her new relationship if she's not in contact with you? And if you were over her, why would you care?

I don't think that you have another chance with Michelle. She is trying to tell you that by her actions. If you are over her, again, why do you care?

You need to cut all contact and give yourself time to heal and get over her.

Cat1864 · Oct 26, 2009, 11:18 AM

Originally Posted by chargerssuck101

when I'm with another girl I show that I'm having a good time and all my attension is towards them instead of michelle. But there's the fact that I still care/ love her and prob always will. I don't like giving up on someone and if there's a way then maybe ill find it. Anyway I'm not obessed with this girl and if there's any type of shot I have with her then my friendship needs to be like it used to.

I have been seeing someone else but all i think about is Michelle

Your full attention is not for the new girl if Michelle is the one in your thoughts.

You haven't given up on Michelle, but what about your rebound relationship? If you have moved on from Michelle, then you should be wondering why it didn't work the girl after her. Instead, you sound like that girl barely existed.

You won't find another healthy relationship until you let Michelle go and allow yourself to heal.

Be honest with yourself. Go No Contact at all.

Jayjay027 · Oct 26, 2009, 11:37 AM

Michelle hasn't been acknowledging you because she doesn't want to!
Staying friends was her way of easing her guilt after breaking up with you, she didn't really want to be friends, because if she did, you two would still be friends.
She broke up with you, and while you were harbouring false hopes of a reunion, you were making it easier for her to move on, because you kept giving her your support and time and friendship.

Let her go, you can't have an obsession like that, it's unhealthy.
Just think of it this way, you have made yourself availabke to her, and she knows how you feel - and she's still moved on anyway.
Now it's your turn to move on.
You and Michelle are over.

chargerssuck101 · Nov 2, 2009, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

You have not moved on. If you haven't move on entirely, you haven't moved on. No contact is best to heal. Stop talking to her period.

How is she flaunting her new realtionship if she's not in contact with you? And if you were over her, why would you care?

I don't think that you have another chance with Michelle. She is trying to tell you that by her actions. If you are over her, again, why do you care?

You need to cut all contact and give yourself time to heal and get over her.

Thanks for the advice... For the most part I can say all of you are wrong. I did go to the Celtics game and I was treated as if I was her boyfriend or like she didn't have one. Michelle was flirting with me and hanging on me the whole time. Later that night she told me she had an amazing time with me and that she is confused. She said she had the best time with me and that she hasn't had that in a while. Then asked me how I felt when I'm with her. She said she loved me. I know she has feelings for me and that she loves me. I can see it when I look at her. I asked if her and her boyfriend were okay and she said yes but I doubt it. Michelle just has a better time with me. I just don't know where to go from here. I told her that she try to fix things between her boyfriend if there is any problems

Imabadman · Nov 2, 2009, 02:14 PM

Yeah... OK we're all wrong.

Michelle didn't dump you. Michelle isn't spending time with the other guy. I'm sure when Michelle is sleeping with the other guy she's thinking about you too.

You got it all figured out. I'm happy for you. Good luck with that eh.

Alty · Nov 2, 2009, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by chargerssuck101

thanks for the advice... For the most part I can say all of you are wrong. I did go to the Celtics game and I was treated as if I was her boyfriend or like she didn't have one. Michelle was flirting with me and hanging on me the whole time. Later that night she told me she had an amazing time with me and that she is confused. She said she had the best time with me and that she hasn't had that in a while. Then asked me how I felt when I'm with her. She said she loved me. I know she has feelings for me and that she loves me. I can see it when I look at her. I asked if her and her boyfriend were okay and she said yes but I doubt it. Michelle just has a better time with me. I just don't know where to go from here. I told her that she try to fix things between her boyfriend if there is any problems

I find it amusing when people come here for advice, get the truth and then say we're all wrong.

Michelle may still be in love with you, but obviously not enough to date you because she's still with the new guy. If she really cared about you she'd break up with him and come running back into your arms.

As for you, could you be more confusing? You say you love her, you want her back, you can't stop thinking about her and then, when you claim she's professed her love for you, you say;

told her that she try to fix things between her boyfriend if there is any problems

When Michelle finally goes to No Contact because she's done, let us know, we'll be here.

Maximilian4073 · Nov 2, 2009, 02:34 PM

You asked her if she is happy with her new boyfriend and she said yes but you doubt it.

I love how not only do you know better than everyone on here, you also know better than she does about her own feelings.

I can only hope that someday I have this wonderful relationship that you have. An ex who flirts with me and keeps me hanging on whilst sleeping with someone else and giving me mixed messages about her own confused feelings. Dream come true.

talaniman · Nov 2, 2009, 02:47 PM

Love has you blind and seeing whatever makes you happy. That's not reality, that's DENIAL and FALSE HOPE making your mind play tricks on you. Read some of the other threads on this forum, and you will see this happens a lot, until reality sets in, and the healing starts.

Originally Posted by chargerssuck101

thanks for the advice... For the most part i can say all of you are wrong.

Buddy, I wish I was, so everyone in your situation could feel better, BUT..!

Cat1864 · Nov 2, 2009, 03:32 PM

Originally Posted by chargerssuck101

thanks for the advice... For the most part i can say all of you are wrong.

Maybe I was wrong before and instead of caring about your feelings and setting boundaries, she is, instead, a manipulative user who doesn't want to take a chance on being alone so she needs you to be her lap dog that comes to heel when she lifts a finger and can be left at the kennel while she plays with her other puppies. Her 'confusion' is just an act to keep you licking her boots while she walks all over you.

Is that a better way to view your relationship with her? I don't mind being wrong every so often. Especially, when I prefer to see better motives than what this is starting to look like.

Imabadman · Nov 2, 2009, 07:37 PM

Hey man buy me tickets to a game and I'd actually pretend I like you too. Long as you comp me dinner and drinks while your at it.

You're a good bitc...

I'm sorry for everone who reads this. I'm just PO'd at the fact the guy asks our opinion and then craps on us. How about just a simple thanks and resolve in yourself you choose your own way. Again... sorry AMH regulars.

chargerssuck101 · Nov 2, 2009, 09:02 PM

Originally Posted by Imabadman

Hey man buy me tickets to a game and I'd actually pretend I like you too. Long as you comp me dinner and drinks while your at it.

You're a good bitc......

I'm sorry for everone who reads this. I'm just PO'd at the fact the guy asks our opinion and then craps on us. How about just a simple thanks and resolve in yourself you choose your own way. Again... sorry AMH regulars.

You people are terrible advice givers. I'm getting a sarcastic vibe from some of you and other still think I'm in denial when she clearly told me that she loves me and continues to say it. Also she asked me to come hangout with her for the first time ina while and is double texting if I don't answer within 5 min. And by the way I never bought the tickets... she bought them. Seems to me like you people are thinking way to hard about how she actually feels.

Alty · Nov 2, 2009, 09:06 PM

Originally Posted by chargerssuck101

you people are terrible advice givers. im getting a sarcastic vibe from some of you and other still think im in denial when she clearly told me that she loves me and continues to say it. Also she asked me to come hangout with her for the first time ina while and is double texting if i dont answer within 5 min. And btw i never bought the tickets... she bought them. seems to me like you people are thinking way to hard about how she actually feels.

Seems to me that you're the one that asked the question in the first place.

Also, you should remember that we're all volunteers here, we do this because we want to help people, and instead of being gracious about the time we spent to give you advice you argued and acted like a jerk.

Have fun with your disfunctional relationship. As for me, I'm out. I'll let you learn like everyone else, the hard way.

See Imabadman, I can be a bit mad too. ;)

Cat1864 · Nov 2, 2009, 09:18 PM

I really wanted to be sarcastic. Unfortunately, I couldn't because if I was wrong in the first place then she is using you.

If she loves you, she has a very poor way of showing it. It is up to you to stop throwing hissyfits and tantrums like a three year old who had his toy taken away and grow up. You don't like our advice, because, unlike you, we aren't blinded by our libidos, emotions, or history with this female.

Our advice is based on what YOU tell us. We are only Jiminy Crickets to your Pinocchio.