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charlie_HK · Oct 25, 2009, 08:34 AM

I have a problem - the more a girl loves me, the faster I lose a sexual desire for her. I believe there are two types of people – conquerors and castles. I am definitely the first one. I am able to do nearly anything in the chasing phase – I can be romantic, sweet, wild… whatever a girl wants me to be. As long as she is not in love with me, I am crazy about her. The problem starts at the moment when her feelings become stronger.

Somehow I didn’t realize it before because I didn’t meet the “right one”. 1.5year ago I did, she had everything what I always wanted to find in a perfect girlfriend. When we met I understood for the first time the difference that poets are talking about. I never had similar feeling about a girl before. We started to live together just after 1week (I never lived with a girlfriend before). Everything was great, we were very happy. Problems started when her love became stronger and stronger. I didn’t feel like having sex with her anymore. Although I still feel very close to her and care about her a lot, the sexual desire for her disappeared at my side.

It seems I need a new chasing “object” again as I turn around girls on the street. I feel bad and guilty because I really do care about my girlfriend and I do love her. My mind is telling me – she is the one! But my body thinks something else.

I am 29years old. Can this problem be related to my age? Can it disappear when I get older?

destiny20 · Oct 25, 2009, 08:39 AM

Do a search on the internet with regard to "commitment phobia'. This is a real phobia like fear of flying etc. You are a normal person with a real phobia. Do some research and admit that you have an issue with this and seek some guidance.

Jayjay027 · Oct 25, 2009, 09:20 AM

Yes you need to seek professional help for this. It's a real problem.

Either that, or this girl really isn't "the one" because if she were, she would be enough to satisfy you in all ways.

talaniman · Oct 25, 2009, 10:46 AM

If you need help solving your problem, get it, as this is the stuff that players and cheaters are made of. If "conquest" gives you pleasure, then your ignoring the effects of that conquest has on others, and that's uncaring, and selfish of you, and a big problem for others.

Someone needs to help you see your addiction for constant "conquest" is about not being able to see the difference between love, and your very unhealthy LUST for attention.

Conquer your addiction, or leave the girls alone, or at least be honest with yourself and them, as to what your doing, and what will happen after they are "conquered"

You have reality, and BS, all mixed up fella.