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    AmandaS928's Avatar
    AmandaS928 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 21, 2009, 01:31 PM
    Im 32 weeks pregnant and nervous that I'm boyfriend isn't the father.
    Ok so in May of 09 I found out I was pregnant. I have a very irregular period, I could go a few months without having it. So the only symptoms I had were sore breasts (which I never got even when I got my period, ever.) I was extremely tired every single day. (I just thought I was working too much) Then I started waking up very nauseous. I told my sister, we got a test, and yes I was pregnant. (found out on May 4th, 09). I slept with my boyfriend (ex boyfriend at the time) a lot, unprotected. Then one night, March 27th I did something stupid and slept with another ex, unprotected. Well before I slept with this guy I was having all the symptoms of being pregnant. When I finally got a doctors appt on June 5th they scheduled me an ultrasound for June 8th to see how far along I was, since I don't remember when my last period was. I usually write things down like that, but for whatever reason I haven't written down stuff in months! So without knowing any date for my LMP, they did an ultrasound and said that I was 13 weeks pregnant. Which is perfect! Because that would mean that my ex boyfriend, the first guy I slept with early in march (the one I am currently with and hoping he's the father) he would be the father. Because if it was the second guys, I would have only been around 9.5-10wks. I also went online and compared my ultrasound to ultrasounds for 10weeks and 13 weeks and my ultrasound looks just like ones from 13 weeks, not 10 weeks! So that would mean that everything is going the way I hoped. I had another ultrasound when I was 20 weeks to see the gender (which she is a girl!) and they didn't change my due date. (which they gave me when I was 13 weeks for Dec 14th). I am now 32 weeks, with the same due date and every time I go to the doctors I measure exactly where I should be. I went on Oct 8th and measured 29cm and I was just over 30 weeks. So does this seem like the ultrasound I had done at 13 weeks was true and that my boyfriend is the father? Or could the ultrasound be off by over 3 weeks and it be the other guys? Even though I now remember the symptoms before I slept with him. I know that this is terrible, but my boyfriend does know the situation and so does his family. I just really would like to relax for the next few weeks before she gets here and before the dna test gets done. (which I will be having one done.) Please help me relieve some stress! I love my boyfriend, we have been on and off for over 8 yrs, he is my high school sweetheart and he has said that no matter what, this is his baby, but I would much rather is actually be his!
    danielnoahsmommy's Avatar
    danielnoahsmommy Posts: 2,506, Reputation: 297
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    #2

    Oct 21, 2009, 01:41 PM

    The only 100% correct way to tell is to do a DNA test once the baby is born. You must notify both men that one of them could and couldnot be the father. Woman up to your deed!
    AmandaS928's Avatar
    AmandaS928 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 22, 2009, 12:24 PM
    Im definitely getting a dna test done, and both men know exactly what is going on. All I wanted was a little relief from the stress of waiting until then.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #4

    Oct 22, 2009, 01:23 PM
    Unfortunately, there is no way to know until the DNA test.

    However, I have a question for you: Will knowing who the father is change how you feel about your child? I understand it is stressful not knowing, but would it change anything other than who puts their name on the birth certificate and pays child support?

    Give yourself permission to relax and enjoy these last few weeks (it seems like forever, but when she is in your arms it feels like time flew by) of holding her closer than you ever will be able to again. Let the stress go. Worrying won't do you or your daughter any good. You can't change anything so take this time to make sure you are prepared for her.

    Know that no matter who the father is YOU are the mother.
    Mami of 1's Avatar
    Mami of 1 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 2, 2009, 11:32 AM

    I was in the same situation. I was messing around with a guy and then I started dating someone I went to school with 4 years ago and a few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know who the father was. I told the guy that I went to school with that the baby was his so we decided to try and be together and work things out. I was unhappy the whole time and was still unsure about who fathered my baby (I never did talk to that first guy again). I always measured larger than I was and had her 10 days early. When she came out I really could not tell who she looked more like the other guy or this guy.. after a few weeks I knew exactly who the father was and it was the guy that I told was the father. We then broke up 2 months after she was born because I was so unhappy and we tried to make things work because I was pregnant. But now I wish that the other guy would have been the father.
    AmandaS928's Avatar
    AmandaS928 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Nov 2, 2009, 12:51 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Mami of 1 View Post
    I was in the same situation. I was messing around with a guy and then I started dating someone I went to school with 4 years ago and a few weeks later i found out i was pregnant. I didnt know who the father was. I told the guy that I went to school with that the baby was his so we decided to try and be together and work things out. I was unhappy the whole time and was still unsure about who fathered my baby (i never did talk to that first guy again). I always measured larger than I was and had her 10 days early. When she came out i really could not tell who she looked more like the other guy or this guy..after a few weeks I knew exactly who the father was and it was the guy that i told was the father. We then broke up 2 months after she was born because I was so unhappy and we tried to make things work because I was pregnant. But now i wish that the other guy would have been the father.
    See my ultrasound said I was 13 weeks and when I look up other peoples ultrasounds for 13 weeks mine looks just like theirs. If it was the other guys, I would have only been almost 10 weeks. Im 5'4 and before I got pregnant I was very thin and weighed 115. Ive gained a normal amount of weight so far and every time I go to the doctors I measure exactly what I should. One week I measured 30 and I was just 30 weeks and last week I measured 33 and I was 33 weeks. So everything really does point to the person I'm hoping it is, which is the ex boyfriend (now bf) of 8 yrs. Im very happy with him. We used to have lots and lots of problems but that all went away awhile ago, we just didn't get back together until right before I found out I was pregnant. The day I found out I was pregnant I told my now boyfriend that there's a chance it might not be his because I did sleep with someone else. And the other guy knows everything also. So I've been honest since the beginning and I do plan on having a dna test after she's born... but I just wish I could have a little reassurance somehow until then because I'm so nervous. I live with my boyfriend and his parents and just yesterday they gave me a baby shower and everyone literally bought us everything we need. And his family knows the deal about the father situation and they're okay with it and want me here because I'm like their daughter because I've been around forever. But yanno once she's comes out and isn't theirs? Of course they might change their mind or feel differently and I'm just so nervous! But when I really think about it my boobs hurt so bad when I slept with the second guy, like I'm mean they were hurting for a few weeks bad to the point where my bra hurt and I couldn't sleep on my stomach, and when I get my period, my boobs never hurt. So that was out of the ordinary and when I look at the date of my ultrasound when she said I was 13 weeks and I go back 13 weeks, I spent everyday with my boyfriend, the guy I want to be the dad, so it just seems more likely that it is his!

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