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    ihatewestseneca's Avatar
    ihatewestseneca Posts: 325, Reputation: 67
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    #1

    Oct 21, 2009, 01:54 AM
    Failing College. Do i really need it?
    So I've been going to college since I was 19... I am now 21 and still in community college.

    I feel that I am just simply not cut out for college... I mean, I skip classes all the time and because of this I am failing miserably. I make up stories and excuses for my absences when I randomly show up.

    My parents really want me to do well and get "that piece of paper" but I'm 21 and I don't even know what I want to do. They say I need a degree to get anywhere in life... but I don't know where I want to go and if I even want to go anywhere.

    All I've ever gotten out of college is disappointment and frustration... so should I even try to "finish" college or find a new career path.

    I just feel like being 21 and almost 22 I should know what I want and be a bit more established in my life, but since high school, I haven't really done anything... just waste money on college.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #2

    Oct 21, 2009, 01:59 AM

    I'm 37,and have just found my career path!

    And regret not going to college when I had the chance years ago.

    Our parents want the best for us,and in today's ecomony,a degree goes a long way when applying for a job.

    My advice is too finish,if only to have a degree under your belt,it might come in handy.

    My own father has had 3 careers,he is 63.. and always learning.

    You have loads of time and there will be plenty of jobs and opportunities in the future.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #3

    Oct 21, 2009, 02:25 PM
    Hi, ihatewestseneca!

    Are you presently working? Also, are you living at home with your parents, please?

    Thanks!
    phlanx's Avatar
    phlanx Posts: 213, Reputation: 13
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    #4

    Oct 21, 2009, 02:47 PM

    Hello

    All I can say is I have always hated doing things I don't want to do!

    It makes me feel miserable and as such the worst side of me comes out

    I listened in some classes, but not others, but now I am older with a family mortgage etc, I spend my spare time learning something new, all of which I could have learnt at school if I had paid attention

    It is a pain in the neck at times to try to figure out what is what, but then it is rewarding when you do figure something out

    And I think that is the point, you have no idea why you are learning what you are learning, there is no goal at the end of it

    Just as Redhead says, I am in my forties and changed my career twice already, and in the next few years I will be changing again to grow chillis.

    I have found an amazng fascination with growing plants, and have had to learn a lot in the last few years again all of which I should have done at school

    Your college education will open more doors than not having one, it is as simple as that!

    It is up to you to decide if you wish to close those doors off to you, or leave them open.

    But I bet, way in the future, you will either be glad you stuck it out, or sad you didn't
    XOXOlove's Avatar
    XOXOlove Posts: 830, Reputation: 131
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    #5

    Oct 21, 2009, 10:37 PM

    I think that if you really aren't getting anything out of college now you should first try finding something that you like to do. If you don't have a major right now or do not like your major you should change it to something that interests you. You could also enroll in a trade school in an area that interests you. Do you have any hobbies or favorite subjects? It can help to even do a Google search on jobs that are related to your interests. There are a million jobs out there that you might have not even known about. You never know what you might find.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #6

    Oct 21, 2009, 10:51 PM

    I suggest you go to your college's career office and ask them to give you two tests -- one an interest test that will pinpoint the types of things you like to do (be with people, work with your hands, be outdoors, work alone, etc.) and the other is called the Myers-Briggs test, a personality inventory. Once you've taken these tests, sit down with one of their counselors and go over the results. That will help you figure out who you are and what you might like to do for at least a while.

    I suggest you forget the college stuff for now and get yourself into a training program of some sort so at least you can earn some money and keep yourself afloat. Try out different things -- work in a library or a hospital or for a construction company or for a landscaping company or in an office. My younger son went to college and grad school, but my older one finished high school, no college, and lucked onto a job that he loves with all his heart. Both are happy with their work and with themselves.

    I went to college when I was your age and hated it. I did finish, but I nearly got kicked out several times for lack of effort. Twenty years later, I went back to college and loved it. I had matured by then, had raised two kids, and had experienced life.

    I wish there were a national service program in which high school grads have to do two years of military or foreign service before they can start college or get a career started in some field. Kids need a break like that. You have my best wishes and hopes that your parents will roll with this a little bit.
    setexenv's Avatar
    setexenv Posts: 45, Reputation: 3
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    #7

    Nov 2, 2009, 11:47 AM

    Well your story sounds very familiar... like mine. I started Jr. College in 1969 and flunked out. Wasn't motivated, wasn't focused. So I quit and went to work. What else is there to do? College, in addition to being an institution of higher learning, is a sorting machine. It sorts out people who aren't motivated and who aren't focused... that's just the plain truth. It does not sort out less intelligent people though oddly enough, in most cases. Lot's of people with average or less than average intelligence get college degrees every year. College is not supposed to be just a place you go and pay your money and at the end of some pre-determined period, you get a piece of paper that is supposed to grant you privileges in the job market. It's supposed to sort those people out who for whatever reason wouldn't be successful competing with people who are determined, who are motivated, who are focused. So I do suggest that you quit, in the interim. Right now, you're wasting your time and someone's money and resources. You need to try to get a job. If you are successful you will find that even if you get a job, in the long run, a job with no college degree is no place to be and even in that kind of environment you employer is going to require that you be dedicated and focused. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that you are capable of learning at a college level because it's not that hard. What's hard about getting a college degree is the structured environment and the requirement that you be dedicated, disciplined, and determined to a singular goal for about 5 years. I think you can do it but maybe not right now. Maybe later. I did. After dropping out of Jr. College, I worked for 10 years in deadend/no-future jobs before I realized that I was ready to go back to school. I went back, got a B.S. and then a Master's Degree. I was lucky to be able to do that. Maybe your experience will be similar to mine or maybe not. You can't force yourself into being dedicated to something that you don't value and can't appreciate right now. There are lots of non-college opportunities out there in terms of vocations as alternatives. Sales is one of them. Lots of sales jobs do not require college degrees, but some do. There's lot of vocational technical kinds of things such as truck driving schools, welding, automotive repair and other types of training. There's also the Armed Services. Many people take this career or temporary career path. Take some time and think about what you want to do though. You are at a very important crossroad in your life and you may not have the opportunity to re-live whatever decision you make. Please feel free to ask me more detailed questions if you like.
    retsoksirhc's Avatar
    retsoksirhc Posts: 912, Reputation: 71
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    #8

    Nov 2, 2009, 01:47 PM

    I dropped out of college after 1 semester. It just wasn't for me. I might go back in the future, but truth be told, a degree isn't that important to start with. Find something you like doing, and stick with it for a little while. If you like it, you'll generally be good at it. And if you're good at it, a lot of companies will pay part of your tuition if they think you need a degree.

    If you're not getting anything out of now, I would suggest a break. Get a job somewhere, customer service is pretty easy to get into if you just need some cash. Take it slow for now, until you figure out what you want to do.
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #9

    Nov 2, 2009, 02:03 PM

    I'm sort of in the same boat as you. I hate school. I'm only in my second semester at junior college. And I hate it. I do well. But I hate going. I hate sitting through class. And I'm 99% sure that no matter what degree I get, I will never actually need it for my job. I already have a job and I'm training for management right now. My company likes it when their managers have college degrees, but it's no where near required. I've had more managers that were high school drop outs than college grads. So why do I keep going? All I hear from everyone who didn't finish college is how much they regret it. My bf's stepfather is, I'm pretty sure, a millionaire. Owns his own company, owns numerous houses in a very pricey area, the house he actually lives in has a private gate in a gated community, all that. He always pushed us to stay in school and do well because it's the one thing he wishes he had done. I'd have thought that being so successful without a degree he's be saying school isn't important, just look at him. But it's the opposite.

    They say you always regret the things you don't do more than anything that you actually do. So I keep going so that 10, 20, 30, years from now I don't look back ans say, "i wish i'd finished college!" I don't know if that's necessarily a good reason, but it gets me to class. Most days...
    ihatewestseneca's Avatar
    ihatewestseneca Posts: 325, Reputation: 67
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    #10

    Nov 16, 2009, 06:33 AM

    Hey everyone, thank you for all your answers. I think I'm going to try a trade school or an apprenticeship program.

    As for a job, I have one, but I'm looking for something with more hours.

    Thanks again, made me feel a little less like a failure... I've talked to a lot of people about it and the majority say "college isnt for everyone".
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #11

    Nov 16, 2009, 07:14 AM

    The trouble is you do not appreciate what it can do for you. But no you don't need it, heck if everyone had one we would not have people to work at Wendys or McDonalds, who would park my fancy car at the club.

    So perhaps a few years of making Min wage and trying not to go hungry and finding out that you have to start showing up, ( like at 6:30 am for a job) will make you understand things better
    setexenv's Avatar
    setexenv Posts: 45, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Nov 17, 2009, 04:10 AM
    Trade school or apprentice program is a great alternative. Every given culinary arts any consideration? If there's a culinary school convenient to your location, think about it. It combines art with science.
    cpuksta's Avatar
    cpuksta Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    May 12, 2010, 11:58 AM
    I struggled a very long time in college. What should have taken me four years took me six. People even told me I should drop out and try to do something else. But I kept with it and was able to get through it. College isn't easey and it takes people longer to do than others. I wish you the best, and understand that how you do in college does not reflect how you are as a person... it took me a while to relize that

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