[Molino693]

My divorce was settled in 5/21/09. In our settlement, we are required to file a QDRO for my retirement pension and split the cost. The attorney for this charges $1500 which I was not aware of at the time. She contacted us on 6/18/09 at which time my former spouse had stopped working. He is a self employed contractor. He is out of work and cannot pay for 1/2 of daycare costs incurred over the summer for our daughter which I paid in full, has not paid full child and spousal support since June 2009. He owes me $4700 total yet insists that we move forward with the QDRO. I cannot afford this at this time since I'm paying for our daughter's monthly expenses without his support. His attorney is assisting I pay or I will be held in contempt of court. I asked that he pay my share of the $1500 QDRO processing fee and have it deducted it from his arrears and he declined. Is there anything I can do to dispute this? It doesn't seem right he has the money for an attorney but cannot pay his court ordered child/spousal support and daycare costs yet assists on moving forward with the QDRO. Also, he cannot have his share of my pension until I'm 50 or retire. Is there a timeline on this? The attorney for the QDRO did not even contact us until June 18, 2009. Can I file an OCS requesting him to pay attorney fees and have it deducted from his arrears or what would you suggest? Thank you.

[cdad]

The short answer is no you cant. Child support is for the child and what is going on between the both of you are a separate matter. The courts don't play lets make a deal.

[cadillac59]

My divorce was settled in 5/21/09. In our settlement, we are required to file a QDRO for my retirement pension and split the cost. The attorney for this charges $1500 which I was not aware of at the time. She contacted us on 6/18/09 at which time my former spouse had stopped working. He is a self employed contractor. He is out of work and cannot pay for 1/2 of daycare costs incurred over the summer for our daughter which I paid in full, has not paid full child and spousal support since June 2009. He owes me $4700 total yet insists that we move forward with the QDRO. I cannot afford this at this time since I'm paying for our daughter's monthly expenses without his support. His attorney is assisting I pay or I will be held in contempt of court. I asked that he pay my share of the $1500 QDRO processing fee and have it deducted it from his arrears and he declined. Is there anything I can do to dispute this? It doesn't seem right he has the money for an attorney but cannot pay his court ordered child/spousal support and daycare costs yet assists on moving forward with the QDRO. Also, he cannot have his share of my pension until I'm 50 or retire. Is there a timeline on this? The attorney for the QDRO did not even contact us until June 18, 2009. Can I file an OCS requesting him to pay attorney fees and have it deducted from his arrears or what would you suggest? Thank you.

You could give an OSC a shot, and you might find a sympathetic judge to go along with you since your request seems reasonable. But your ex will probably say he cannot afford the $1500 as it is. Also, the order is that you split the costs, and until there's a modification that's exactly what you are suppose to do. Kind of a tough call, but I think I'd give a motion to modify the judgment a shot based on the equities presented--that he owes considerable past due support yet still can pay a lawyer.

By the way, there is no time limit on getting a QDRO in but your ex's interest in your pension is not protected until it's done.