[nicks]

Hello,
I am expecting a child in March with an ex-girlfriend. At first she included me in all of the appointments and wanted me to play an active role in the prenatal activities and in the child's life. Since then she has slowly faded me out of all of the prenatal appointments, and said I won't have a say in the child's life and doesn't want me around. But she still expects me to be financially responsible. What are my rights as a soon to be father and then as a father, and what is my best plan of action to ensure my child doesn't grow up fatherless and on welfare?

[JudyKayTee]

As soon as the child is born - you have no rights until you are proven to be the father - you request visitation (or custody, if she is unfit). Court will order DNA testing, order child support and visitation/custody.

Until the child is born - again - the only "rights" you have are the ones the mother allows you to have. Once you are the proven father she cannot shut you out.

[stevetcg]

In CA, you can file for paternity, custody and visitation prior to the child being born. They take effect as soon as the child is born so no waiting months for court.

[nicks]

Another question I have concerns location. We live in different counties. Do I have to file in her county of residence or can I file in mine?

[JudyKayTee]

In CA, you can file for paternity, custody and visitation prior to the child being born. They take effect as soon as the child is born so no waiting months for court.

Not doubting you - you mean you file the Petition prior to the birth of the child, it's put on the calendar and heard right away?

In NY you file as soon as the child is born and it's placed on the immediate calendar.

Probably works out the same because the Court can't calendar something and then keep changing it if the baby is born early or late.

Very good info. Thanks.

[stevetcg]

No, I mean they can and will do the hearing prior to birth and the support and visitation goes into effect at the time of birth, pending a DNA test if there is a question as to paternity.

[JudyKayTee]

Good info which I probably read before and never "digested."

The legal part of me now wonders - if a woman states that a certain person is the father, files prior to the birth of the child, the "father" wonders/worries/plans until the child is born, the child is born and testing proves the child is NOT his - does he have grounds to sue the mother? I am thinking specifically of situations which could cause big problems in a person's life, for example - if the man is married or in a relationship.

It's difficult to prove emotional stress but I do get assigned a case ever now and then, have to talk to co-workers or neighbors about changes in the person's work record, demeanor and so forth.

Maybe this is a question for a discussion board or another thread - ?

[ScottGem]

We have had a few threads where this has been discussed. And CA law does allow you to file for custody/visitation prior to birth. According to of our Family Law experts from CA. I'm not sure if an actual hearing is held until after birth, but the OBGyn and/or the hospital can be informed of the pending litigation.

What I would do is tell the mother that you have every intention of being a part of your child's life, both physically and financially. And that, as the bio parent, you have those rights and will enforce them through the court if she denies them to you. But tell her you would rather not have to fight over this and hope that she will see that she doesn't have the legal right to keep you out of your child's life.

In any event, you do want to file to be declared the legal father by a court immediately after birth. Start with your local Family Court. They will tell you if you need to file in her local court or not.

Good Luck and keep us posted.

[cadillac59]

Good info which I probably read before and never "digested."

The legal part of me now wonders - if a woman states that a certain person is the father, files prior to the birth of the child, the "father" wonders/worries/plans until the child is born, the child is born and testing proves the child is NOT his - does he have grounds to sue the mother? I am thinking specifically of situations which could cause big problems in a person's life, for example - if the man is married or in a relationship.

It's difficult to prove emotional stress but I do get assigned a case ever now and then, have to talk to co-workers or neighbors about changes in the person's work record, demeanor and so forth.

Maybe this is a question for a discussion board or another thread - ?

Yes, an action to establish paternity as well as rights to custody can be brought before the birth of the child and enforcement of any orders or judgment entered will be stayed until the birth of the child. (Family Code Section 7633).

Family Code Section 7633 provides:

An action under this chapter [the Uniform Parentage Act] may be brought, an order or judgment may be entered before the birth of the child, and enforcement of that order or judgment shall be stayed until the birth of the child.

Hearings on pre-birth custody orders are held and there are even appellate cases involving such situations, but as a practical matter I've never encountered such a case in actual practice.

As far as suing the mother for a wrongful claim of paternity pre-birth, I would assume the remedies available at law (if any) would be the same as those available to anyone who was wrongfully said to be the father after the birth of the child. If the accusation was wilfully false, I would assume it would be a suit for malicious prosecution in either case. Hard to prove with minimal damages and likely not worth pursuing in most cases would be my estimation of such a case.