[Nestorian]

When do you know when you are being reckless with your heart, and when do you know that some one is being reckless with yours?

What a doozie eh? How can we be reckless with our own heart; by hanging on to what isn't there any more. Then again we can also be reckless by jumping into what is there, but moving to fast results in unsteady relationships, as I've said before, "People who grow together stay together; people who crash together fallapart." - Nestorian.

So how can we see some one who is reckless with our heart? For one, if they are reckless with their own, chances are they will not do well with yours. Watch for signs of stubbronness, and arrogance, or general lack and disregard for your feelings or thoughts. If they seem confused about their life, be watchful, as they may not have the mental stability, or emotional capacity to be with you; or more importantly to have your heart. It's hard to let go of something/one you care for so much you just want to do what's best for them.


So here is my story. I recently got back together with a girl after not talking for a year. See, about 2 years ago I met a great women at college. She was fun and funny, and so amazing in so many ways, but she had a boy friend. I listened to her for 6 months, telling me how he was not what she wanted. Well the time came when she came on to me, and just pulled me on to her and I siad, "I can't do this, I don't want to mess up your life with "other guy"." She assured me it wouldn't. Well she and I started spending more and more time together and yes sex was a part of that time. Then she broke up with the other guy and I spent a whole lot more time with her. I fell "in love" with her before she and I even started anything. Any who after she and I were together for about 2 months then she went back to the other guy. So I left, as I had moved in some things two weeks before she choose him again. So I left with out a word. I was there for her when she was lonely and board, to talk on the phone, as the other guy didn't want me around her. Any who, she tells me she is pregnant, and I will be kept in the loop, but I wasn't as he didn't like me near them at all. So for a year and a bit I never heard any thing about it. She had complications when the baby was born and she alsmot died. He was not very supportive, and even left during the 4 hour labour, and he was not very supportive in many other ways. So, 8 moths after the baby was born she finally talks to me, and then she leaves the other guy, and that night she askes me "Can I kiss you?" I asked her "Are you sure you want to do this?? I mean don't you need time to get over the other guy, I don't want to be your rebound guy. Are you sure you want to try this again?" She kissed me. Then I spent the night with her, and then spent 3 months with her every night/day but then she asked me to move out as she needed space. I knew the time would come when we'd need to do that. Truth be told we both did. So I broke it off with her saying, "we need to be just friends for a time. So we can work on our selves and that means being single." But it seems being single to her means having another guy bring his shaving stuff, tooth brush and cell phone with charger and leaving them at her house is being single. I'm not a fool, I know what that means, and still she says she is single... I have not talked to another girl since, I have not even thought of other girls. Am I just being a sissy or dumd nut? Should I just write her off, even though she says she needs 6 months to be single, then I'm first in line to be with her. I'm guessing she figures after six months to "work on her self", she will be ready to settle?
So, she has the other guy, not the razer guy, but the other possible father over to "talk" about him not being the father. Well she asked me to leave so they could talk. So I did. I forgot my wallet and she said to get it after she and he talked. Then 2 hours pass and she says, So he sat read the paper, was quiet, had a shower, and was talking on the phone the whole time and they never talked yet. So, she texted me that about 2 more hours ago. So 4 hours I've been waiting to get my wallet... Am I just a tool or what. At least I can still laugh about it, and I"m stoked about being a Father!! She is so cute too. I love the wee one... and her Mother even despite all the pain i'm going through.

So, who is being reckless? Or is it both of us??

My guess is im reckless with my heart in that i keep wanting her back and let her pretty much use me like a tool. (Today she called because the baby had a cut on her finger. So i took her bandaids as she asked me to bring her small ones. I did and then she remembered her mail and told me I was the father.) I let her use me...

She is reckless with my heart in that she tells me things and doesn't keep her end of the bargin, I knew she'd start dateing other guys, but I didn't know she'd have them staying at her house... That hurts like hell. But she has siad she'd do alot of things but she has not kept her word. That hurts too.

Thanks for listening guys. "Wisdom is every where, we need only listen." -Nestorian.

[amicon]

HARSHNESS WARNING!
Could you be the father?
If you are a potential dad get this sorted -and if you ARE get that sorted legally.
If you are not the dad stay away from the toothbrush cue-avoid this severely confused female who using you like her fallback guy.

[talaniman]

Two words, Paternity test, and keep your wallet closed until you get the results.

As a matter of fact, stay as far from this one as possible, until you get notified by mail your paternity results.

To answer your question;
Only you can be reckless with your heart, and only you can protect it.

[Nestorian]

Two words, Paternity test, and keep your wallet closed until you get the results.

As a matter of fact, stay as far from this one as possible, until you get notified by mail your paternity results.

To answer your question;
Only you can be reckless with your heart, and only you can protect it.

Well, test is in mate, I'm the happy and proud father of a beautiful healthy 10 month old baby girl. My wallet is open to her now, and I bought her food as she had none, no I really mean none. She thanked me for it in a way that made me feel like I was doing my part, though I had promised more, to raise our baby.

Yes, only I can be reckless with my heart, but some time we need to be to find what we want in life. I've realised that I wouldn't have tried to let of my feelings and live my own life had she not shown me how, though it was a harsh and rough lesson, I'm learning. That means I'm making progress. I still have to be sure not to let her walk all over me, with her and her cow gal boots XD, sorry got a country song in my head. So long as I'm learning, and moving forward; yes some times this means take two steps forward one step back, but if we didn't make misstakes we wouldn't be learning would we. Take it with a tea spoon full of sugar to help the medicine go down you know? "It's a hard hard lesson but you're gona have to learn it."

Thanks for the info! XD I still have much to talk about on this matter, but as I was just at the "Big Red Cross Inn" for an infection on my leg, and it's 3:28A.M. and I'm on some pain killers, if I seem a bit off I appolagize now, I need sleep and rest. Haha, Ah who am I kidding, I"m always a "little" off. ;) haha

Thanks again guys, for your honesty, wisdom, insight, up front don't foot around the bush get to the point answers, and much more.

Take care and I'll let you all know where I end up... and what mess I get me self into next. :rolleyes: :p Off to a nother adventure mates, later!

[amicon]

Nestorian-be a great Dad.
Your child s wellbeing is the most important thing in your life now.

[zippit]

As far as the reckless heart delima I would say of the two its more important to NOT be reckless with another persons heart.I can do what I want with mine because I know my limits and what I can handle so I try my best to not be reckless with those I love and most important are children's hearts

[Nestorian]

Trust me, I'm going to be there for my baby, even if it's going to mean that I have to be there for her mother when she is having issues. After all, if my ex isn't well, how can I expect her to take care of my Baby? My child's well being will be the top priority, now and forever.

Some times we think we know ourselves, but I come to realize, that very few of us really do know ourselves. I'm still only just learing about myself, scratching the surface. You know? But I do agree with you, for the most part we usually know ourselves better than others; therefor, we know what we can take/handle/do/and so on.

Things will work out, I just have to keep working on myself, and take care of my beautiful baby girl.

Again thank you guys.