[easter bunny]

I have a 28 year old son who refuses to keep and job and dad just hands him money so he will not make our lives miserable. The time has come for me to step up and get ugly. He treats us w/ no respect, abuses our goodiness to him and has just recently threatened to burn our house down if we decide to move, obviously because he would basically be homless. He has no money, no job and my husband and I are seeing our relationship falling apart, trying to come up with the right way to get him on the right path. Obviously treating as a poor , son who needs a break is not working. He is working us!! It it not the first time he has said he would burn our house down if we decided he needed to get out and figure out how the real world is. My husband will be losing his job at the end on Nov. and we had lots of plans for us. Our daughter on the other hand finished college in May 08, has a great job and moved out the past July. How can 2 children be so different. HELP!! I am just about at my witts end with this and ready to put him out to experience what I have read about "tough love".

[justcurious55]

Do your really believe he would burn the house down? Or are you confident that it's an empty threat? That he would say it at all is cause for concern, but if he really would, he may need some serious professional help, imo.

[Clough]

Hi, easter bunny!

Why are you and your husband afraid of your son, please?

If I'm being assuming and am incorrect in my assumption, I do apologize. However, I do feel that there's much more going on here about which we don't know.

Would you inform us of the whole picture as to what's happened in the past and what's now going on, please?

Thanks!

[Jake2008]

You and your husband have created a monster, and now the monster is controlling your lives.

There should be a different, or more accurate topic area to put this question. A 28 year old man is not a child.

I agree there must be a lot more to this story. This didn't happen overnight, and surely he has been employed along the way, or moved out on his own and came home because of the economy, and he lost his job ? Was he married and divorced with nowhere to go? Is this a temporary situation with him living at home and he's overstayed his welcome but refuses to go?

I am curious to know the circumstances surrounding this man.

[artlady]

I think enabling him as you have done has been your biggest mistake.

You need to legally evict him from the premises.

You should tell him that if he needs your help and you see that he is willing to help himself,you will give him a hand up ,not a hand out.After he has proved he can manage on his own.

My friend recently evicted her 22 yr.old and his daughter and now he is finally getting his life together.

It was that or her marriage.

He is in a shelter,getting his GED and taking care of the child he made.

It's a tough world but we do our kids a great disservice when we coddle them and don't force them to accept life's realities.

Tough love.

Tell him you will be serving him with an eviction notice and stick to your guns.

In the long run he may thank-you for forcing him to get a life!