[jewels7683]

Yesterday I got back with my boyfriend after a two week break. The reason for the break was I was getting to anxious about stuff, calling too much and all that jazz. I asked him if we could try it again and he said yes. I want to keep him this time so what suggestions do you have on me showing I care but at the same time not smoothering him or calling too much like I once did. I always get that feeling that if I don't call he doesn't think I care and that was the problem the first time. SO advice would be very helpful! Thank you :D

[ashbyr02]

If you really don't want 2 loose him again then I think you should fone him but don't over call him call him 1 or 2 every 2 days but you got to show him how you feel and that you love him and it isn't just words its true feeling invite him round one night and cook a really romantic dinner and if he really does feel the same way then he would apreciate it and at that point he will know you're not just saying it.

[imation]

Its always a hard question.. what is enough? How can I show that I care but not be overly clingy?
The answer is well different for every relationship, some people I know don't call each other much and other couples I know are on the phone every night, you just got to figure it out.. why not set a couple of nights a week where you both know it's the night for a phone call, and the idea for a romantic dinner is great! Remember, it's the little things that count, the little winks as you look at him... the carefully subtle brush across the chest as you get up from sitting next to him... just live life and enjoy his company :)

[kp2171]

you just got to find some balance.

right now, its worse than before... because now he's in control. You are still struggling with your wanting to be there for him... and at the same time you are fighting your instincts to call. Basically it means you get the ulcer worrying.

the best case scenario when dating is that you both are on the same page. I think the most healthy relationships are those where the two INDEPENDENT people are still independent while dating.. they keep their friends and hobbies and interests and their own personal time... they just also fit in time to be together.

now this isn't a fit all. Some people find other people and they both like to cling together like they are falling off a cliff. To each their own. Each person needs to find their own kind of "weird".

but here's the point of the whole mess... you guys are not on the same page. To make it work, you need to compromise. Right now compromise probably means more like you doing all the concessions. Oh well. Sucks to be you. =)

so... here's your plan for happiness.

1) make it about you. It isn't about keeping him. Its about making you happy. He might be a fantastic guy and a great catch. But the number one problem people run into when in a relationship is that they lose perspective of what is important. Your happiness is your primary goal... not keeping the other one happy.

2) that said, we ALL need to bend a little unless we want to be kicked to the curb. So... you DO need to back off a little and give him some room most likely. If you find yourself fretting about him... well stop it. Didn't you read rule number one?? I know... I know... its not that easy. It is, but it isn't. But it is. Drop all pretense, don't play games. If he's got other plans get over it. Healthy people have diverse interests. Now if he ignores you until he's bored or in need of a "chick fix", then there's a problem. Again, there needs to be a balance. Only you can tell when you are spending more time frustrated than happy.

3) make the time you spend with him worth it. This doesn't mean go overboard. But if you are wanting to spend three hours on the phone talking about the latest OPI color you just are in love with, stop it. Call a girlfriend for that. When you are with him he should be about you and you about him for that time. Have fun. Laugh a lot. Leave all of the hum drum stuff for someone else. Half of the fun of a relationship is the newness and discovery. And I say that having been happily married for six years. I'm still learning things about my wife... doesn't mean there isn't some monotony after a time... but again, make the time together worth something... which usually means don't try to spend every minute together.

4) ah hell... I'm too tired to come up with a number four rule for happiness. Lets just call it flowers, football, kissing, movies, food, pictures, and laughter. And football. =) I'm a guy. Whatdya expect? Look don't spend hours trying to figure this out. Make it up as you go... and when you make a mistake don't do it again... unless it was fun as hell and worth it.

make him make you laugh. A lot.

hope this nonsense helps.

[Here_To_Help- Jon]

Find out what contact method and frequency he is comfortable with and see how is fits with yours.. if it way out of line.. talk it through with him and hopefully reach a compromise...