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Dianna12345 · Oct 14, 2009, 09:03 AM

Hi, I found out that my ex-bf has been two-timing me throughout the 3mths29days that we've been together. He has another long time girlfriend of 17mths. This secret of his was exposed on the day when I happen to be in the same place as that couple. 3 of us quarrelled and he kept telling the girl he loves her and wants to be with her and he's very sorry. He totally ignored me and I was left to feel sorry for myself alone. Worse still, he told me straight in my face that "yes, I was two-timing u.So can u leave now". It hurts so much.

During the 3mths+ period, we did all sorts of couple things and he was nice to me as a boyfriend. Assuring me of his love and says he misses me which totally sounded like he meant it. Because I'm someone who gets paranoid rather easily, he said things like "I don't hook up. I do couple-ly things with my gf only, and that's u". That is why I trusted him, even after I found suspicious things in his room, like hairband and a picture and letter from his most recent "ex"(his 17mths still ongoing long time gf). I told him just admit if he is really cheating but he chose to lie and gave acceptable reasons for the things I found. He told me this "ex" lasted 5mths and she still kept pestering him with msges and calls. She also kept threatening him with suicidial intentions. He told me he has been ignoring him until one day she stop bothering him.
I can't believe he said such things about her. And I can't believe he lied to me w/o battering an eyelid.

On the first day after secret was exposed and I broke up with him, he said all he wants to say was a deep sorry. On the 2nd day after secret was exposed, I called to ask him if there was any moment when we were together, that he meant it when he say "i love u", or had true feelings for me for even a moment, he told me, "i really don't know". I said even a no answer won't hurt me, he still said the same reply.

I can never be with a man who cheats on me, even just once. I know I deserve better that's y I left him. Whereas she chose to stay with him, again, despite this not being the first time he cheats. According to her and to my astonishment, there were many girls before me during their 17mths tog.

All I want to ask you is, do you think he has ever truly love me once? Or was I just a plaything/object in his eyes all the while?

amicon · Oct 14, 2009, 09:11 AM

His actions prove he s not capable of loving anyone.
He s a serial cheat and you ve had a very lucky escape.
Give yourself time to recover and heal from that relationship or excuse for one-there are many decent men in the world and you ll be able to have a proper relationship next time.

spitvenom · Oct 14, 2009, 09:21 AM

Don't beat yourself up wondering if this low life loved you. Do what amicon says recover and heal then find yourself a real man. Oh and good for you for actually leaving. It shows you are a strong person.

I wish · Oct 14, 2009, 09:38 AM

He's the only one who knows the answer to that. I'm sure he was somewhat attracted to you, otherwise he would not spend so much time with you.

It doesn't matter anymore. You finally found out the truth about this cheater. Don't waste anymore time thinking about him. He's not worth your time.

artlady · Oct 14, 2009, 09:46 AM

No one here can speculate on what he felt.

From the sounds of it,he was and is a chronic liar and cheat and he sounds like someone who has no respect for women in general.

Seeing them as playthings for his amusement.

My dear,see this as the blessing it is and be grateful you didn't invest any more time than you did.

Three months of your life you will never get back but the lesson will last a lifetime!

123skyscraper · Oct 14, 2009, 02:30 PM

He is a player. Always having a backup. Cannot stand to be alone. One woman is never enough. He will lie to you straight face without any guilty conscience. He is a serial cheater. It seems like you described my ex. He said he has cheated on every single girl he's ever been with except me... thanks... buh bye!

Gemini54 · Oct 14, 2009, 05:51 PM

In the end do you really care how he felt about you? He lied to you, humilated you and treated you with callous disregard.

You must feel mortified that you fell for him and believed his stories. Be grateful it was only 3 months.

All I can say is - imagine how his GF of 17 months feels!

talaniman · Oct 14, 2009, 08:26 PM

Cheater usually do love the one they are with at the moment, but they love themselves all the time, and are the very best liars in the world.

Pray for the poor delude female he is with.

Dianna12345 · Oct 17, 2009, 11:31 AM

Thank you all who answered. Some tell me yes some tell me no. Some says maybe... possible that there was love.

Well! Now it finally dawned upon me that the RIGHT answer doesn't matter anymore. I don't know why am I able to let go now, but it just happen that I can... I'm still not at all ready for a new relationship or even dating, because I can't trust yet. Plus I think I do want some time to be alone, single, by myself. And I'm ready to embark on another new chapter in my life, discovering new things and become a better me. A more attractive me, not that I think I'm not good enough now. I want to be even better than what I am now. So thanks once again and all the best to you all out there too.

Cheers & peace & love.
Dia.

Laurenmichele8 · Oct 17, 2009, 06:22 PM

I don't think he did love you because when you love someone you would try to protect them from anything that would ever hurt them and he hasn't done that, he's done the complete opposite. He's hurt you and another girl so I'd say he's a player and is hating the fact that he's been caught out. You should delete his number and cut all contact with the loser, you clearly deserve better.