[rockerchick_682]

I've recently met a boy that I really like, but I'm not sure if he's the right person to have in my life right now. I'm a sophomore in college working towards pharmacy school, while he doesn't have his high school diploma yet. He smokes weed mutiple times a day. I'm only 19, so I don't think these would be huge issues now but I think they would be in the future. (He's 18) He's said things like, "I'm sure we'll last a year at the most, all my other relationships haven't lasted over a year." Which I was a little upset over; I've had those same thoughts but I didn't say them out loud. So even though he doesn't 't have his life together yet, he's very sweet. When he comes over to my apartment he'll do dishes, or make me dinner. He'll say how he doesn't want to leave and how much he loves everything about me, but we don't tell each other we love each other. He'll call all of his friends that are girls baby and that he loves them. Not that I want him telling me that yet but I think it's weird that he tells all of his friends that. He's also said that he wants to make his life better and being around me puts him in a better frame of mind. Which makes me think that he's using me to make his life better. So what are this boy's real intentions?

[amicon]

Sorry but I don't think anyone who smokes pot daily is anything but a major RED flag.

[ohsohappy]

I think that you should just be friends with him until he starts to get his life together. He might actually have feelings for you, or he might just be a flirt, either way, wait it out. You wouldn't want to go through the drama of an incompatible relationship this early. Everythign always seems perfect in the beginning, until the novelty wears off, and then you're stuck with a ton of issues if your vaues are that different from the beginning.

[Catsmine]

The weed is kind of a problem for a pharmacy student. ANY arrest will mess up your license. Not conviction, arrest. It's not supposed to be that way, but it is.

When I smoked it, I was using it for emotional anesthesia. I found out it works really well when I want to stop thinking, too. Does he need either of these effects?

[jmjoseph]

He's a pothead who has a girlfriend working to be a Pharmacist. He is a hero to his friends. I'm sure they are putting in orders already. I hope he is not using you, thinking you will provide him with drugs, "legal" drugs.

I would really watch it, like Catsmine suggested. You don't want to be around when the cops bust him with a fat sack.

I would concentrate on my education if I were you, and hold off on any relationsgips.

I wish you the brightest future, and to be lucky in love(one day).

[none12345]

Sounds like a player to me. Don't get too attached. I would not date anyone who smokes weed all day. If he is not sure of what he wants in life, what makes you think he is sure of you?

[summer7]

Hi,
You guys are on completely different paths. You have goals and a bright future ahead of you. Focus on your studies. Also, if you happen to engage in the use of drugs (any kind) while studying pharmacology, it will get around. I would imagine that you don't want to begin your profession (as a pharmacist) with gossip about you being a drug user. (I'm not saying that you are) but people will also judge you by the company you keep!

He's probably lots of fun but since he's not sure what he wants out of life, he might get in the way of your goals and cause a delay in your progress. Keep at a distance.

[tany072075]

I think when he says he wants to be a better person its one of two things: 1. he honestly wants to and feels that being with you will help him to do that since you obviously are on the right track in life, or 2. he's playing you knowing that if he sweet talks you enough you will give in to his addiction. It does seem a little too convenient that you are in the pharmaceutical field. Just be careful. There's nothing wrong with being friends. Pay very close attention to what he says and does around you. Don't be paranoid, but if sometime doesn't sound right to you then it probably isn't.

[destiny09]

I do agree with what everyone has put on here with their advice but I have a angle from a previous relationship I was in.

I was with soemone who smoked weed on and off throughout the day BUT he was at college studying and doing really well, he had a fututre and a life, a good life. He was emotionally and mentally fine, he simply liked the buzz!

I don't think the weed bit is always the problem (although maybe for you and your career it might be), I think his attitude towards you is a problem. Whether he smoked or not he doesn't seem to have a direction!

NOW saying all that, I wouldn't be with him! He sounds a bit of a sponger that using you for many different things

[Torrid13]

You need to let this guy go & find someone that doesn't smoke weed, for one. And also maybe someone that is definitely more optimistic in your relationship together.

Him telling you that the relationship won't last over a year because none of his past ones did bothers me a lot. I don't know, maybe it's just me.

Really, though, find someone else before this guy gets in trouble and you find yourself right in the middle of it.

[talaniman]

I would be extremely cautious around this guy. I surely don't recommend you fall t deeply until you know a lot more about him, and if his words match his actions.

Nothing worse than finding out your in love with a loser. Eyes wide open here.

[rockerchick_682]

I never thought about him using me for drugs. Being a pharmacist is about six and a half years away though. I don't do any of that, not even drinking. I don't understand why he does it anyway, to me, weed is stupid. He did mention once that weed helps him deal with emotions, he didn't say it that way, but that's the way I interpreted it. Nothing that he couldn't deal with though. I agree with everything that's been said, I just don't want to throw away something that could possibly be good. He's mentioned that he would like to be in a relationship with me which I've shot down. I would like to learn more about him, but I'm not sure if I can keep my emotions in check. He's shown that he can be a good guy; he's definitely a gentleman.

[talaniman]

I don't think there is anything wrong with getting to know someone, and of course while they are chasing, all you'll see is good.

I think you know yourself well enough to know what you can handle, and what you can't. I don't see you getting carried away by your feelings, or allowing things to get to complicated, to fast. (because you know we are always a click away:))

[summer7]

I read your post again and I can't tell you how many times I've heard my girlfriends start their sentences in the same way. "I met this guy and I really like him... .BUT"

What follows is a laundry list of the most "unappealing" qualities and they'll throw in some good qualities like, "Oh, but you don't understand....he waters my plants. He doesn't overwater which shows me he's a sensitive guy."

Well, if I were you, I would re-read your original post a few more times and let it really sink in. Don't you want a guy you can grow with instead of one you have to drag along? You deserve so much better. Good luck to you. I hope you get a better guy, though. :)

[rockerchick_682]

I'm so glad this site is here!

I've gone no contact with him. Well, only since this morning. So I'm sure the next few days are going to be a little hard, but I know what I did was the best for me. Whew no contact really sucks and I think about things way too much. Thanks for the advice, I think I'll take it. :)

[summer7]

Smart girl! :)