[amicon]

Im sorry it had to come to this. Let us know how you are. Take care

[2ndTime]

Maybe he felt that you were too much of a "yes" person. Some people like some challenge. If that's the case stop fretting over him. There's always fish in the ocean. But, if you've paid for all the things than you have the right to sue him.

[Cat1864]

Take care of yourself, Jayjay.

Remember that you have an inner strength that will help you get through it.

[Jayjay027]

2ndtime, I am not a yes person at all, never have been. I, myself, like a bit of a challenge, and someone who mwill challenge me. Neither of us were ever into pandering to the other - that's one thing that made us so great before.
And we both paid for deposits etc.. I'm not interested in sueing him or ending this in an ugly way - I just want shot of it.

Thanks guys for the support and advice. I will keep you updated with what happens.

[Jayjay027]

Its been a week and a half since we officially split up.
After it happened, we shared the longest, nicest, goodbye kiss - and went our sperate ways.
Later that night there was a couple of texts, but not many - and that was it.

Yesterday, after over a week of NC, he texts me saying if I want to meet up for a drink to let him know.
I replied with "aye ok" but that's it. Over the last week I've been having a good time and been enjoying being single, I've been clubbing loads and at party's, having fun.
I don't think his text means anything and I'm not going to read into it but I don't know how to react if he texts again.

I don't feel hurt enough by the break up to go NC fully and ignore his texts. I don't feel the need to text him, and won't text him, but I feel its OK to reply when he texts me.
Is that OK?
I don't know.

[amicon]

Its only been a week and a half so I'd think there's still quite some emotional dust that needs to settle.
Only you can decide if you want total NC or not but for the time being that's what I'd recommend. Maybe further down the road you can meet up as friends and do the drinks thing.
Going out and having a good time's the way to go-enjoy your new single life!

[Cat1864]

Jayjay, with major holidays coming up, you need to be more careful about keeping full no contact going.

Today, you may not fell like calling him. However, in the near future as happy holiday memories stir, the temptation to initiate the contact will grow stronger. If you are already taking his calls/texts that will work to weaken your resolve.

The holidays are traditionally one of the worst times for down points to occur. Do yourself a favor and don't make the fall harder than it could be.

One other thing to think about: by taking his texts and responding, you are giving him and yourself false hope that that everything can go back to the way it was. You are also prolonging the healing process time for both of you.

Take care of your healing, life, and heart. Stay with full NC.

[piricarmen]

Hi,

You and I are pretty much in the same boat. I know, it is sad and it leaves you feeling confused, hurt, angry, and bewildered.. but unless he comes to his senses and realizes that he has made a mistake, it is over. It is a shame what he did to you. And I know you are looking for answers but it may be truly over. Usually this type of sudden breakup is attributed to one or all of these three factors: 1) an ex-girlfriend 2) Some feelings of insecurity (within himself) 3) a new interest that has been slowly taken him away from you (some girl at work, at school, or at the gym or some online friend. It is uncanny the similarites you an I have, right down to the number of years together with this guy. And I know it really may be devastating you the fact that you have accepted, trusted, chose this particular individual to spend your life with and now he leaves. Please know that you are not suffering alone and remember you don't want to guilt or beg someone into getting back with you. He needs to see what he has missed out on for himself. It is not your fault.