[lilelaine25]

Where do I start... ok... Myself, Karen and Donna were friends since secondary school. We all had the same group of friends and hung out together. Myself and Donna where a lot more close than myself and Karen. But during about 2nd year in school Karen Blanked me for no resaon and made things very awkward for me i.e.. Making our other friends choose between me and her, she wouldn't go anywhere if I was going etc. This went on for years and I never got an explanation as to why she behaving like that towards me. But then in our final year in school I made one last ditch attempt to resolve things with her for the sake of our other friends. So eventually after trying and trying we became friends again. ( still never got an explanation as to why she treated me so bad?)

Everything was great for a while it was myself, Karen and Donna and a group of lads we pal around with. Karen and Donna where single and I had a boyfriend but still spent all my time with the two girls. We all got on great until Donna went off with a fella Karen really liked... Disaster strikes! So for about a year they both ed and moaned about each other to me but never to eachothers face. Over time there friendship got worse and I was stuck in the middle! I was a lot closer to Donna but didn't want to fall out with Karen as I had put a lot of time and effort into our friendship again. Karen was always quite difficult to deal with over the years you would never know what might piss her off and we would always seem to walk on eggshells around her. She would tell you nothing!

Anyway about two years ago Donna got a boyfriend which really deep down pissed Karen off but she couldn't say that to Donna but I knew by the smart remarks she would make that she was Jelous cause she hadn't a boyfriend (and NEVER really has!) Over time Donna and Karen stopped speaking and haven't spoke since. So Donna has blanked me too and has never gave me a expalination? I tried everything not to loose her friendship but she just cut herself off from me? I miss her cause we got on well together but she has boyfriend now and she doesn't want to know any of us anymore? I am still very hurt over her and I miss her so much :(

So then it was just myself and Donna left and the few lads we would pal about with from time to time. So over the past year or so I thought myself and Donna would become a lot closer but how wrong was I!! I try in vain to be a friend to her but I never seem to get the same in return I just feel like lately she is pushing me away again and I don't know why? Recently she bought her own house and again I thought "great i'll be able to pop up most days and stay over and have a bottle of wine ect. Again...How wrong was I.... She made it clear when she moved that she doesnt want anyone call up to her without ringing her first...Fair enough! So she has moved in about 6 months now and id say i have been in her house about 3-4 times and thats because i have bascally invited myslef up! She NEVER asks me? But then i hear from mutual friends of ours that they have been up in her house for dinner, DVDs, Bottles of wine ect..i know it sounds petty but she would NEVER tell me when i am talking to she make it out that she has been really busy with work, family etc?

We are suppose to be "best friends" but we do nothing together like best friends usually do i.e. shopping, trips away, calling each other, etc etc... I get odd message off her and it usually the same message all the time i.e. she soooo busy with work, she's wreaked tired, she's broke (but she has 3 jobs) blah blah every message I get is the same over and over when I try to ask her something about herself or is she on for going out? I get the same response! Over the past month I have tried to arrange differnet things but she's either wreaked tired, broke etc... Ok don't get me wrong I understand she has a life of her own and maybe busy but I always have time and make time for her I'm always trying to organise things (she NEVER would suggest ANYTHING) but she never seems to want my company? She has had a tough year at times and I have tried to be there but she tells me nothing that would be going on in her life even when I ask she won't tell me? I don't know any other people that are suppose to be best friends that behave like that? I tell her everything that is going on with me but never seem to receive the same from her and it hurts the way she seems to be sooo secerative all the time I really don't know why? Ihave spoke to her about this before and she made it out I was making a big deal out of nothing? And that I have my friends and she has hers... Ok again fair enough she has other friends but most of her other friends are people we are both friends with but she seems to want to keep me and them sepereate and I only ever hear that they have been with her when I am talking to them but she would NEVER say it me or ask me to join them?

I know all this might sound petty but its just upsetting when you try and try with someone and your left never knowing where you stand with that person especially when that same person made my school life hell and I was the one that did everythig to try and sort things out and now I feel I am back in the same situation but I am more alone now because I don't have Donna anymore and I miss her so bad because things were never like this between Donna and I?

Anyway so that leaves me to now where I feel I have lost both of my best friends and I don't know why? I have done everything to try and save both Friendships but nothing I seem to worked or helped? And now with the way Karen is behaving towards me it upsets me because even though she is a difficult person and she treated me so badly I forgave her and moved on and now it feels like De Ja Vous!

I just don't know what to do about Karen? I don't want to lose her but I just wonder is she avoiding me on purpose? I haven't done anything on her because I have seen her? I would love to confront her AGAIN but I just know she will twist thing back on me etc. She makes me feel like I have done something but I know I haven't? Should I just let the friendship fizzle out or confront her one last time?

[dincher]

I hear you, sister. I'm having the same problem with a good friend - love the girl like a soul sister. She was there for me 100% when my ex husband screwed me over. And what happens, out of the blue, she just stops hanging out with me. She would always make herself busy when it's time for us to chat. Same story - when I confronted her, she tells me that she's not ignoring me and that I'm being insecure. Yet the results are exactly that: That I'm being ignored and things are not the same as they were before.

I don't know what advice to give you except what I'm doing myself: I'm just making myself less and less available. I am going to let my friend look for me instead. To get over the pain of losing her, I recently started calling up other girls just to see if they want to hang out. Like today, I'm going out for margaritas after work with someone I've never hung out with before, but I took the initiative to invite her. So my guess is, even if you don't connect with other people, just initiate events and find someone to go out with, and give someone else a chance.

Anyway, I hear you loud and clear. I'm sorry that you have to go through this with Karen but especially Donna. I get the impression that Donna has just outgrown the friendship, just like my girlfriend did.

Like you see with Donna, I also see that my friend has other friends she hangs out with. When I look at my girlfriend's Facebook, I see that she went to party X and party Y and posted all the photos there showing the fun she had with the friends she DOES spend time with, and it breaks my heart, but what can we do? I know the feeling, believe me. But like with everything that causes pain, you just try not to think about it, and move on.

[lilelaine25]

Hi! Thanks for that. Its nice to know I'm not the only one and I'm not going nuts! Just sad to think that people you have know your whole life can just walk out of your life and never give an explanation? But I think your right you should move on cause cause I always seem to end up more and more hurt trying to fix our friendships? I could never treat somebody the way they both have? Just a pity that's all!

[dincher]

Hi! Thanks for that. Its nice to know im not the only one and im not goin nuts!!Just sad to think that people u have know your whole life can just walk out of ur life and never give an explaination? But i think your right u should move on cause cause i always seem to end up more and more hurt trying to fix our friendships? I could never treat somebody the way they both have? Just a pity thats all!

Oh me neither. I may not have that many friends, but the ones I do have are close and I keep them like precious stones! So when I lose one it hurts me to kingdom come. :(

But yeah, I think that the more we try to fix those friendships, the more it'll make them just go away further and the more it'll hurt. It's like with guys, we don't want to chase them around cause chasing cheapens us. It's not a good feeling being someone's "option" - but a priority would be nicer. :cool: