[elzbthmut]

This guy and I have been dating for about five years. We've always had our problems but it seem like in the last three years things have really gone down hill. We've broken up twice in the past because he was unhappy, well now in the past six months I haven't been happy, I really want this relationship to work out but I just don't feel like he cares either way, There is abousoultely no affection, no romance, and no surprises anymore. About a week ago he made me so mad that I actually broke it off. Tomorrow I'm going to talk to him about our relationship, and I just really don't know what to say to get through to him that basically I need more??

[Sylvanta Sybil]

Write him a letter, a lengthy one, and tell him to do the same thing (not a reply, you write at the same time then exchange). That way there will be no shouting and you and him will be have a chance to share your feelings with each other, without anyone overpowering the other. I suggest not trying to focus on yourself on the letter, tell him what you feel about HIM, not the relationship. Do you love him? Do you like it when you're just sitting next to him? Do you love his eyes? Not just what's wrong with the relationship (not too much "you don't _____ anymore") I guess...

Not sure it works for everybody though.

Oh and it would be nice if it was handwritten not computerized.

[makapuu]

I think you are asking too much of your boyfriend. When he broke up with you because he was unhappy, what changed to get you back together? My guess is that you changed because you wanted him back.

You "broke it off" because he made you mad, and now you are going to tell him that you need more in the relationship. I guess you are hoping that he will change if he wants you back. That's a big gamble. Speaking from my experiences, men don't really change.

[redhed35]

What ages are you both?

Five years is a lot of emotional investment,for both of you.. this cycle off on off on off won't end... if your breaking up every time you both hit a rough spot eventually one of you will get so fed up the next break up will be the last...

Ask yourselves what are you both getting out of the relationship?
Have things evolved,are you both moving forward and towards a goal,what's the plan?

Sit down and talk to him,have an open and honset conversation,and stick with it until you both know where your relationship is going,either forwards to a future together or ending when one of you stand up and leave.

[Sylvanta Sybil]

what ages are you both?

five years is a lot of emotional investment,for both of you..this cycle off on off on off wont end...if your breaking up every time you both hit a rough spot eventually one of you will get so fed up the next break up will be the last...

ask yourselves what are you both getting out of the relationship?
have things evolved,are you both moving forward and towards a goal,whats the plan?

sit down and talk to him,have an open and honset conversation,and stick with it untill you both know where your relationship is going,either forwards to a future together or ending when one of you stand up and leave.

Yes this is probably the most mature way to deal with it.