Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    darknessandmist's Avatar
    darknessandmist Posts: 23, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #21

    Sep 22, 2009, 01:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by excon View Post
    Hello darkness:

    The best piece of a$$ I ever had was from the ugliest girl I knew. Funny - after a while she didn't look so ugly.. In fact, she looked damn pretty. You need to find yourself a guy like me.

    excon
    Hmm that's a bit different
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
    Ultra Member
     
    #22

    Sep 22, 2009, 04:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by darknessandmist View Post
    hmm that's a bit different
    Not if you know excon its not. ;)
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #23

    Sep 22, 2009, 06:49 PM
    Your boyfriend needs to spend an afternoon doing bra fittings. Boobs are boobs. Some boobs sag at puberty, some are perky at age 88, many are not equal in size, some are full of stretch marks but are not saggy, some have discoloration, some have scars, some are cone shaped, some look like squished oranges, others are missing one due to cancer, boobs come in all shapes and sizes.

    I presume your boyfriend hasn't experienced a lot of boobery. YOU are normal, what you have is what you have. He should be grateful you are healthy, happy and hold far more important attributes than the shape of your boobs.

    Gawd, is he that superficial, really?
    carlee611's Avatar
    carlee611 Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #24

    Sep 23, 2009, 06:34 AM

    He should love you and accept you just the way you are!
    Don't feel like you have todo anything which you don't feel comfertable with, if you was to consider it in the future do it for you self not for him!
    dorky's Avatar
    dorky Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #25

    Sep 23, 2009, 06:37 AM

    Do not let your boyfriend tell you what to do. If he really loves you he loves you for all that you are,including your body. Don't do anything to your body that you don't want to , cause it's yours!
    carlee611's Avatar
    carlee611 Posts: 17, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #26

    Sep 23, 2009, 06:45 AM

    Who care's about what other men think there not the ones who have got to look in the mirror and see it everyday if it doesn't bother you (which it shouldnt) then stop worrying about what other people think!
    darknessandmist's Avatar
    darknessandmist Posts: 23, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #27

    Sep 23, 2009, 07:28 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jake2008 View Post
    Your boyfriend needs to spend an afternoon doing bra fittings. Boobs are boobs. Some boobs sag at puberty, some are perky at age 88, many are not equal in size, some are full of stretch marks but are not saggy, some have discoloration, some have scars, some are cone shaped, some look like squished oranges, others are missing one due to cancer, boobs come in all shapes and sizes.

    I presume your boyfriend hasn't experienced a lot of boobery. YOU are normal, what you have is what you have. He should be grateful you are healthy, happy and hold far more important attributes than the shape of your boobs.

    Gawd, is he that superficial, really??
    He's been with other women before, I wonder if they all had perfect breasts or what. At my age sagging is abnormal I guess.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
    Uber Member
     
    #28

    Sep 23, 2009, 07:42 AM
    Hello again, d:

    GIRL! Stand up for yourself. You sound like you think you'll NEVER have another boyfriend. Don't chase after men. If they don't like what you got, throw 'em to the curb.

    Saggy, schmaggy! I MEANT what I said earlier... Attractive TO ME, is how a girl carries herself, how SEXY she is, how CONFIDENT she is, how SMART she is. There are LOTS of very sexy women who AREN'T, in fact, the prettiest... Indeed, there's a lot of pretty women out there who aren't sexy at all.

    excon
    hheath541's Avatar
    hheath541 Posts: 2,762, Reputation: 584
    Experts
     
    #29

    Sep 23, 2009, 07:44 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by darknessandmist View Post
    he's been with other women before, I wonder if they all had perfect breasts or what. at my age sagging is abnormal i guess.
    No, it's not. Take the word of a 22 year old lesbian who spent high school in drama and choir and college living in a dorm and has seen a LOT of boobs. The bigger they are, the sooner they sag. If you loose a considerable amount of weight, they sag anyway. There is nothing wrong with having saggy boobs at any age. It happens and it doesn't make you any less attractive.
    darknessandmist's Avatar
    darknessandmist Posts: 23, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #30

    Sep 23, 2009, 10:37 AM
    Then why do guys expect all women to have perky breasts? I saw this site 007b.com which has non sexual images of women’s breasts and 90% of the women with large breasts had saggy ones.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
    Ultra Member
     
    #31

    Sep 23, 2009, 10:45 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by darknessandmist View Post
    Then why do guys expect all women to have perky breasts? I saw this site 007b.com which has non sexual images of women’s breasts and 90% of the women with large breasts had saggy ones.

    Stop looking at those sites!

    Not all men expect women to have the perfect perky breasts,just like woman don't expect all men to have an 8 inch penis.

    Are your breasts the sum of you?

    I'm sure you have physical features that you think is attractive,not your boyfriend,but you!
    hheath541's Avatar
    hheath541 Posts: 2,762, Reputation: 584
    Experts
     
    #32

    Sep 23, 2009, 11:33 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by darknessandmist View Post
    Then why do guys expect all women to have perky breasts? I saw this site 007b.com which has non sexual images of women's breasts and 90% of the women with large breasts had saggy ones.
    That's because they're REAL! Real boobs sag. Fake boobs don't. Men who expect all women to have perfect, perky breasts have been looking at too much porn.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
    Expert
     
    #33

    Sep 23, 2009, 12:06 PM

    MEN don't expect women to have perky boobs.

    BOYS do.
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
    Ultra Member
     
    #34

    Sep 23, 2009, 07:17 PM
    1. Stop looking into sites that make you question yourself and yourself worth and how you look, at least for now!
    2. don't have your breasts done, unless you want it done!!
    3. Maybe your boyfriend should either back off, or get kicked to the curb?

    Personally I have small breasts, it never bothered me though, maybe a little when I was 15-16, but I would never get them done. Because I don't want to get them done. If any BF of mine had ever started to pressure me (frequently, like your write in your OP) to have them done... I'd start asking myself some of the questions you're asking; Will every guy think that way and see me that way? Are my look of my breast the only thing that matters? At least for a second, but I'm more then two small boobs..

    If your BF is so obsessed with the way your breasts look, he isn't really worth it is he? And I agree with excon, it does seem as if you're think that you'll never get another BF... You will! There are plenty of little fishies in this great big sea of a world.

    Your BF does come of as immature!

    The thing is, and I do believe you'll experience this! What Excon wrote is true!

    Quote Originally Posted by excon View Post
    Hello again, d:

    GIRL! Stand up for yourself. You sound like you think you'll NEVER have another boyfriend. Don't chase after men. If they don't like what you got, throw 'em to the curb.

    Saggy, schmaggy! I MEANT what I said earlier... Attractive TO ME, is how a girl carries herself, how SEXY she is, how CONFIDENT she is, how SMART she is. There are LOTS of very sexy women who AREN'T, in fact, the prettiest... Indeed, there's a lot of pretty women out there who aren't sexy at all.

    excon
    What he writes here, is my personal experience as well, and I've also seen many a girlfriend experience the same thing! Its not the way your boobs look, or if you have the perfect butt, or a flat stomach that matters! Its who you are as a person, its your personality, its your interests, it's the way you carry yourself in this world that matters! (although it should be said that some people never grow up and will always think that looks matters, but those people can be avoided and/or discarded!)

    Just think about it; Is it your boobs a man has to live with? Or is it you as a whole?

    Also, my impression after reading this thread is that it seems to me that your BF and his attitude towards your boobs and the look of them has gotten under your skin... is it giving you a low selfconfidence? Because that would be a shame!
    darknessandmist's Avatar
    darknessandmist Posts: 23, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #35

    Sep 24, 2009, 05:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by roxypox View Post

    Also, my impression after reading this thread is that it seems to me that your BF and his attitude towards your boobs and the look of them has gotten under your skin... is it giving you a low selfconfidence? because that would be a shame!!
    Yes, it has affected myself confidence deeply
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
    Ultra Member
     
    #36

    Sep 24, 2009, 06:27 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by darknessandmist View Post
    yes, it has affected my self confidence deeply
    If something your boyfriend says or does affects yourself confidence, he isn't a very good boyfriend and you should consider replacing him. Its his job as a boyfriend to boost your confidence, not selfishly beat it down.

    HUGE difference between him liking perky breasts and him being a douchebag.

    This isn't about him liking perky...
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #37

    Sep 24, 2009, 06:31 AM
    Roxy has a good point there, and no wonder you say yourself esteem is deeply affected.

    I wonder how your boyfriend would feel if he thought you were disappointed every time you were intimate, because his member was not quite up to par. If you continuously made remarks about it, and suggested he get surgery (yes, apparently there is surgery), and frequently let it be known that you are unhappy with the size of it.

    This isn't the same as complaining about the colour of the nailpolish you are wearing, or the new haircut, or about the burnt roast in the oven. All those things are easy enough to fix or change, and are purely superficial.

    But, he is making an issue out of something that not only shouldn't be an issue at all, but is deeply personal and considered to be a 'fault' that needs surgery to correct. It seems okay for him to hit you with this psychologically, knowing, or at least he should know, that his comments really hurt, very deeply, and affect how you see yourself. Are you supposed to feel grateful that he puts up with saggy boobs, or happy that he goes a day or two without mentioning how unappy he is with the shape of them?

    Bullies operate this way. They find something that hurts another person, and they torment them with it.

    He is not the type of man I'd ever have anything to do with. Will he 'settle' for you if you don't have surgery? Or will he continue to bully you until you crack and get it done.

    My advice to you is to think seriously about a long term relationship with a man who would not only see you as having physical 'faults', which is utter nonsense, but doesn't have the sense God gave a flea to realize his behaviour is causing you to take a nose dive with your confidence and self-image.

    Please think about your future with a man like that before you really start believing there is something wrong with you.
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
    Ultra Member
     
    #38

    Sep 24, 2009, 10:32 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by darknessandmist View Post
    yes, it has affected my self confidence deeply
    I find this very sad! That your boyfriend who is supposed to be there for you and with you is causing this, cause he is causing this!

    You are prob not going to like what I have to say, but it might be a good idea to:

    A) find a way to make him stop

    B) Let go of him

    The way he is treating you and the way its making you feel is NOT good on any level.

    From what you say in the OP your breasts 'sag' because you lost a lot of weight, I'm guessing that you lost a lot of weight because you made a conscious decision to do so. The more I think about his behavior the more I see just HOW unreasonable it is.

    And Jake has a good point, he is a bully, in stead of focusing on all the positive sides of you, he is attacking a side that is making you feel uncomfortable and giving you low confidence.

    I have several suggestions as to how to work on yourself confidence and to raise your sense of self worth, and I am going to give those suggestions to you, but in all honesty I think that he seems to be a waste of your time...

    One thing you can do to raise yourself confidence is to have a little note book...

    This book is meant as something positive, something that in the end is a celebration of you, and something you write for you. I have such a book myself. Almost a year ago (2 of October, YEY me!) I broke up with a BF of mine who treated me pretty bad! At the end of our relationship he had broken myself confidence and my sense of self worth was pretty low, and when I started making that book... I found it hard at first, but today I'm really glad I made it!
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
    Ultra Member
     
    #39

    Sep 24, 2009, 10:38 AM

    I call this the book of self improvement: (lol wiches have the book of shadows I have the book of self improvement ;))

    So what you can do is start of by making several lists, 2 types of lists once a week, and 1 list that you make each day:

    Each day:
    Make a list with 3 decisions you are happy about (that you've made that day!)

    Each week:
    Make a list with 5 things you are happy about with your looks and personality.

    Make a list with 3 to 5 things that you are happy about in general in your life (directly involving you.

    E.g. I have really good friends:

    I read on AMHD the other day that your friends can be seen as a mirror of you (Sorry, can't remember who wrote that) but I lkinda like it; if you have really good friends, it must mean that you are a good friends... and remember not only did you CHOOSE your friends, THEY CHOSE you as well!

    Or my boss told me I do a great job..

    And so on... if you catch my drift; hope this was of some help!

    Roxy
    darknessandmist's Avatar
    darknessandmist Posts: 23, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #40

    Sep 25, 2009, 06:11 AM
    Thanks for that roxy.
    I will do all that.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Who's pushing who away? [ 6 Answers ]

My girlfriend and I have been going for over 3 years now. Its been a rocky road. I have posted about her on here before. I would like to spend the rest of my life with her. The problem is she keeps saying I'm a b/f and I let her down all the time, and that I do not make time for her. And...

Why is she pushing me away? [ 8 Answers ]

My girlfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me in February and from that point on has demonstrated some confusing behavior. We moved from the east coast to California together and shared an apartment. The relationship was very rocky since the move with lots of fighting over dumb things. ...

Is or why is he pushing me away [ 6 Answers ]

I met this guy about 2 months ago the minute our eyes locked we could not keep our hands off each other the first night we met we were intimate. We didn't just have sex it was like we were making love. Two weeks later he came and spent the weekend with me and my 6 year old. We still text and call...

New here.questions about breast pain, breast lumps [ 2 Answers ]

Hello All! My name is Christy. I am 25 years old. I had my beautiful daughter 15 months ago... that was when I first discovered something was wrong. :confused: When my daughter was 6 weeks old, I felt a lump in my right breast. I thought for sure it was a clogged milk duct. I went in for my 6...

Pushing box [ 6 Answers ]

Can somebody please explain to me if it is easier for a short person or a tall person to push a box across a floor? Please don't just say "short or tall person" explain why?


View more questions Search