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    Writer1026's Avatar
    Writer1026 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 10, 2009, 08:18 PM
    Hate my mother
    I think I hate my mother. She is 81 and in terrific health. She is unkind to me - and puts me down. My daughter is getting married and she will not come to the wedding because we are not inviting my niece who is 6. My daughter does not want children at her wedding and it is an evening wedding. My mother favors my niece over my daughters and considered it a slap in the face hen my daughter did not have her cousin as a flower girl. When she found out kids were not invited to the wedding, she went ballistic. Now my brother and his wife have gone crazy too and refuse to attend the wedding if their daughter is not invited. I only have a mother, step-father, brother, sister-in-law and niece for family on my side. They are writing us off for the holidays as well since they are no longer comfortable associating with us!

    My daughter and her fiancé do not want kids at the wedding - but it seems that I will not have a family at all - and I do love my bother and do not want to hurt him.

    Are there any reasonable accommodations. They want the niece at the wedding and dinner - they will take her home early - my mother will leave when they do.

    ANY IDEAS? Thanks!
    dincher's Avatar
    dincher Posts: 163, Reputation: 12
    Junior Member
    		  
    #2

    Sep 10, 2009, 08:20 PM

    I would invite the niece alone and just get it over with. Your mother is old, I think she needs to get her wishes accommodated - hate her or not, she won't be around too long.

    Just invite the niece - it's not like you're inviting a classroom of kids. Besides, the niece won't have other children to play with so she won't be rowdy.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Sep 11, 2009, 09:39 AM

    This whole thing is what your daughter wants, so everyone can just chill, and do as she wishes.

    Weddings are about the bride, not the family. Support your daughter, and to hell with everyone else's opinion, and attitude.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
    		  
    #4

    Sep 11, 2009, 09:46 AM

    Its your daughters wedding not your mothers so she has no right to call the shots.if your mother can't handle that that's her problem.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #5

    Sep 11, 2009, 10:15 AM

    Tal is correct,its your daughters wedding!
    Not your mothers,not your nieces.

    Don't even try to keep the peace,if your mother wants to swing her weight around,let her,but not at your daughters wedding,and not at your mental and emotional expense.

    Invite her over to see the DVD,so see can see her granddaughters wedding.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #6

    Sep 11, 2009, 10:21 AM
    The others are right. It's your daughter's wedding, so let her invite whoever she wants. It's up to your daughter to talk to her grandma (your mom) and her uncle (your brother) if she wants to work out the issues.

    Don't forget, this is also her future husband's wedding too. So it's up to them to decide how they want to proceed. You just got to be supportive of their choices/decisions and let them face the consequences of their decisions.
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