[cosmiclight]

I got married at 19, had my first child at 20, then my little boy at 24. All along my marriage I have been going through the struggles of finishing my education, raising my kids, and taking care of my sick mother-in-law. My husbad is 44 and I am 29.
I just fell out of love. But have a guilty concience because of the good man he is. He is the one man out there any woman wishes to have.
For the past few years, sex to me has been like going to gym. A work out for him. Now, I'm at this point in my life where I just can't stand living in this surreal any more. Sometimes I feel like taking a bunch of pills and not wake up. It's like I don't belong here. When he leaves the house is when I feel like myself.
I understand the whole staying thing for the kids. Actually, to confess myself, I got married to get out of the house. I just don't like him as a man anymore.
He keeps trying, he is a wonderful man. The nice kind of family man. But that's not what I want.
For the past few years, I have just been concentrating on my studies again, work and family to drive my other feeling of wanting to be unfaithfull away. I see other men, and I desire them.

[abmr5x11]

All I can say to this is that people fall in and out of love all the time in a marriage... And today, most people just give up or just don't want to fight to stay in it because they don't think that there is any kind of chemistry anymore. But marriage was meant to be for life and when you said your vows, you were promising in front of everyone that you would stay together for rich or poor, sickness and in health. There are several sources today that can light up that fire in the marriage. They come in forms of books, or movies. I don't think that it would hurt to go through the process of finding ways or just things that could make you fall in love all over again. If you're saying that this man is what every woman would want. Then there could be something that you would want too.. another way is to restudy him all over again. Find out his likes and dislikes, his goals or dreams or even just what makes him happy... I hope this helped a little.. tell me what you think.

[Catsmine]

So you've busted your chops for yourself, your kids, and your mother-in-law for 10 years. That's a HUGE workload. What's he been doing for the last decade? Does he go to work and yell "What's for dinner?" the second he walks in? Is his concept of foreplay saying' "I want you."? Does he spend more time with his Mom than with you? "Poker night" every Tuesday and Thursday at the strip club? Does he get in car wrecks ogling girls on the street?

Is the answer to ANY of these questions "yes?" These are all problems discussed here in the last 4 months.

I keep saying: Get old fashioned pen and paper, write down two columns. What's wrong with your marriage and What's right with your marriage. See which column is taller.

[artlady]

I fell out of love and it devastated me because he was a great guy as well in so many ways and my love at 13 married at 18 and no baby ,just because.

He was a bit of a cheater but I really fell out of love but I loved him enough because of our love that we always had, it was awful.

I know how you feel.

This was many years ago ,we are friends.we love each other still because our love was real.It just ended.

Its better to leave with love in your heart than hate.. That is the kicker,you have a deep love.Its a good thing!

[artlady]

Something I wanted to say and forgot was please take some time to breath.
Take a deep breath and know that yes,you can multi task.I breast fed while doing dishes,laundry,the whole nine.

Bottom line you have to think of your mental health and how much you can handle and do.

It sounds like you are taking on too many things at once.
Take care and please delegate other people to tasks.

[little_n_lost]

Hey I can't say I know how you feel as I am only 18 but I will say I have helped others in and out of marragies. First I'd like to say please please don't take a handful of pills over this. I may be young but I've od'd before and it's not nice. If you're scared about telling people now think about how things will be after. There's not much to do if you fall out of love, either keep trying or break it up. I wouldn't suggest staying together for you children's sake as if you start to slip into depression over this as it sounds you are then your kids will pick up on this and make life for them worse rather than better. My fiancee's parents were in the same predicament and she did unfortunately stray from her husband and he like your husband is such a lovely guy he just accepted it. But now thankfully they have found something that has brought them back together like childhood sweethearts, I suggest the same. For them it's going camping together just the two of them as that's a past time for them. If there is anything you two used to do in your early years I suggest it it may bring some fun and joy back to your soul. Good luck for the future and just keep talking until yoou find the right thing to do take care XxX

[1800proof]

I'd have to agree with abmr5x11... marriage is a commitment, and just because you're married doesn't mean everything is fine and dandy. It takes work. If you can't stand to have sex with him, stop having sex. Let the time away from that become your aphrodesiac. Also, there's got to be something you can do before deciding to end it all. As was said... re-learn him. Hopefully, that will lead to you both re-learning each other. About half of all marriages fail these days. Even though I don't know you, it breaks my heart to see it happening. You need to let him know how you feel and what you're thinking about... it could be the catalyst that makes your marriage better than it ever has been. Once a person realizes what they are about to lose, it can change them for the better. Good luck to you... you are in my prayers.

[Gemini54]

I suspect that because you married so young and had children early you feel like you've missed out on your youth.

But, you are married and you have children together. This sort of commitment is not easily dissolved and I believe you owe it to your children to make an effort.

Don't kid yourself. Good men are a precious resource and should be cherished, not discarded. I understand that the spark is gone, but if he is a good man and you tell him how you feel perhaps you can work on recreating what you had together.

Is it not worth at least making the effort?

[carrie7767]

You are still young and have a very full life ahead of you, DON'T give up on that. As far as the marriage think, I guess I have to say, try harder. Which is especially hard for me to say because I'm thinking of divorce myself. We have only been married 3 years, I raised my kids myself, and fell hard for this man. He was "everything a woman could want".Now, I am in my 40's with grown kids and grandkids, he too is "a wonderful man" and I am just not happy either. But, what I do know is life is worth it, and we do survive. DON'T GIVE UP, especially on yourself! You deserve to be happy,and only you can make that happen.:)