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ATJOHN98 · Oct 26, 2006, 06:34 AM

Thanks Scott but I would prefer to do it now and get it over with. I have no problem with being held responsible for the financial obligation but I feel this decision is best for all involved.

ScottGem · Oct 26, 2006, 06:44 AM

First, use the reply option rather than start a newe thread.

Second, Check with your local Family Court for the forms and procedures.

But I still urge you not to do anything when there is nothing to be done. Right now, the mother does not want you and you don't want to. So just DON'T. Don't go to see the child, don't have contact with the mother. There is NOTHING more you have to do.

Formally, relinquishing your parental rights (and the court may not allow it) does NOTHING but harm the child. Think about what might happen when the child becomes old enough and finds out his father just dropped him! If you are relinquishing rights in favor of an adoptive parent, that at least is an unselfish act.

The mother cannot force you to do this. This has to be done of your free will. I can understand not wanting to go against the mother's wishes about being a part of the child's life, but I can't understand why anyone would formally relinquish their rights in this situation. You are doing no one any favors and doing potential harm.

mrshull2002 · Oct 27, 2006, 08:35 AM

I'm with you there. My husband has fought his ex for 5 years with their 9 1/2 yr old daughter. We've been to counseling, court, you name it. All you can do, is pay the support and keep your distance. Do you think there is some parental alienation going on? That's what we're going through. How old is the child and does the child want to see you? Is there a guardian ad litem involved? How long have you been divorced or separated? It gets difficult when the parent is feeding the child a line of bull everyday. Maybe you could try to have lunch with the child at school AWAY from mom. We tried it, and it was great. Then when it was visitation time, the child threw a fit not wanting to come. We've seen her 2 times in a year, and she lives 15 minutes away. How far does your child live from you, and what kind of relationship do you have with them?

s_cianci · Oct 28, 2006, 10:15 AM

Frankly, as long as you're going to have the responsibility of child support (assuming that's the case), why not "hold on" to your parental rights and keep them in reserve, even if you choose not to exercise them? I'm actually in a very similar situation as you ; I have a 9-year-old biological son for whom I pay child support, out the nose I might add. I have literally never seen him. Mom wanted nothing to do with me either (other than my money.) I have not exercised my parental rights but have not relinquished them either and am keeping them "on reserve", so to speak. I know that the longer I hold out, the harder it will be but I also know that I'll never lose them completely and that I could see him in a heartbeat if I wanted to ; all it would take is a trip to court. Now, if another man wanted to adopt him, I'd sign the papers as fast as I could grab a pen. However, I don't honestly expect that to ever happen for two reasons ; #1) I don't think that any man in his right mind would actually want to marry this woman, much less adopt her kid (LOL ; funny but not funny, if you get my drift) and #2) I don't think she's stupid enough to give up at least 9 more years of child support that she has coming to her. I think of it as kind of like a charity that I'm legally forced to support, kind of like if I was ordered to send $140 each week to the American Heart Association or something like that. So. I'd say keep it on the back burner and, for $140 a week (give or take), have the satisfaction of knowing that, every time she looks at this kid she's going to think of you and that sooner or later, when this kid starts asking about daddy, she's going to have to come up with answers.

dbek · Nov 17, 2006, 09:56 PM

Originally Posted by ATJOHN98

Thanks Scott but I would prefer to do it now and get it over with. I have no problem with being held responsible for the financial obligation but I feel this decision is best for all involved.

The judge still make you have financial obligation. So if your doing it only for that reason then you should think hard. First of: are you going to have regrets later on in life. Second: think about the child. I know when we had someone's parential rights taken away the judge asked if we wanted financial support and we waived it.