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    Panthers13's Avatar
    Panthers13 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 28, 2009, 08:12 PM
    Any Ideas on what I should do!
    My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two months. We get along great when we're together. But when we are apart lately we tend to fight. He says he loves me and that he wants t omarry me someday. He cheated on me once over myspace. He was calling some girl sexy but he never actually saw her or anything so I didn't break up with me because he actually told me he did and he knew that he ed up. And, that he wouldn't happen again he begged me not to leave him. And I made him promise me that it would never happen again. And, since than it hasn't. Me and him go to diffferent schools. I'm bi-sexual and my ex-girlfriend messaged me saying that he was using to make some girl jeealous. And that he is constantly hanging with girls at school. But I have to friends that go to school with him and they both told me every time they see him he's just around guys or by himself. So I don't know why she would have said. I have a very hard time trusting him at times. Espically since when that stuff starts he's never there. I don't know what to believe. I really like him. But love? It seems strong. I know now that I loved my ex-boyfriend. I was in love with him I can honestly say. But there's this guy who shall remain nameless as does everyone else. Who loves me as he says. He goes nuts about me... He tells me that he wants to be with me and wishes that I would just give him a chance. I asked him why he does one time. And he told me that I was beautiful, I had an amazing personality, He loved my smile, he loved looking into my eyes, and that when I'm happy and in a good mood I'm the nicest person in the world, and it sucks that your scared of getting hurt that you won't give me a chance because I know I could treat way better than he is. I would never hurt. I've been trying to hard to get that when I get you if I do I wouldn't have the balls to do something to you to lose you. He tells me he's always thinking about me. That he dreams about me all the time. And, I just don't know what to do anymore. So please help me!
    bobomark's Avatar
    bobomark Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Aug 28, 2009, 09:44 PM

    Well, this is a hard question. Do you think your ex-girlfriend would lie about him being all over girls at school? I can honestly tell you this from personal experience, once a cheater always a cheater. I can tell you now that if he isn't cheating on you, he probably will be in the future. I know it's hard to do, but you need to move on. He's already hurt you once by cheating on you. In my opinion, you should give this other guy a chance. If what he says is true, I think you guys will make a wonderful couple
    Panthers13's Avatar
    Panthers13 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 28, 2009, 09:55 PM

    But there's a big age difference! Like 8 years difference. And you I think she mite do in spite and hatred b.c. me && her broke up. And, later she messaged me telling she was in love with me but I already moved && am dating Sarah the love of my life! She's my everything. And yes I am a girl writing this. I'm very confused... about what to do.
    bobomark's Avatar
    bobomark Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Aug 28, 2009, 10:00 PM

    Well, first off, you shouldn't let the age thing get in the way. If you two really care for each other then age shouldn't matter. You need to trust your instincts on this one. I know that him cheating on me would drive me crazy and even the slightest hint of him doing it again would have him out the door quick. Ask yourself this, do you believe her?
    Panthers13's Avatar
    Panthers13 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 28, 2009, 10:10 PM

    It's not so much me that the age bothers but my mom. I couldn't tell anyone. Or he might end up going to jail. Which would be very depressing. Hmm... Do I believer her? No. Not when 5 other people say it's not true including her older sister. It was my mistake to actually date her. Her being so young... any advice?
    bobomark's Avatar
    bobomark Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Aug 28, 2009, 10:17 PM
    Well, it's not against the law for you two to date. How do you feel about this boy? And yea, I could see your mom having problems with it at first. But, she'll soon realize that if you're happy then the age shouldn't matter. About your ex-girlfriend and current boyfriend, you're probably just going to have to trust your instinct. I can tell you, that if I was in your position, I wouldn't stay with him. But, then again, I'm not you. Once is enough for me! I hope you can get this all figured out soon enough.
    Panthers13's Avatar
    Panthers13 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 28, 2009, 10:29 PM

    Umm... I'm underage. He's severals years over.. lol. Yeah. We use to click really good a few months ago. But he wrote on here and called me shallow :( It's sad... so that's depressing and I'm so stressed out that I can't even think straight. My head's spinning! And I don't believe my ex-gf don't plan to. She justs wants to ruin my life I'm sure...
    bobomark's Avatar
    bobomark Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Aug 28, 2009, 10:38 PM

    Well, he's cheated on you before, so you should be weary about him doing it again. Almost all of the time, if they cheat, they will again. But, it's still not illegal for you guys to date. Only to have sex. How do you feel about this guy? Do you like him? Want to give him a chance? And most of the time, if your mother doesn't care that you guys are dating, it won't hurt anything. You need to calm down girl cause the stress will give you a heart attack. You're too young to be stressing
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Aug 29, 2009, 07:22 AM

    You are underage and your mom would be hurt, stressed, and angry with you dating such an older guy, and make a lot of trouble for you both.

    That you have other people your attracted to, who are probably closer, and more your age, of course your confused.

    What you have to do is enjoy your friends, and leave the older guy alone, the trouble is just not worth it, since he has already cheated, and called you names, so you don't need him, or your lying ex g/f.

    Your young, learning, and growing, so why complicate things even more by being pulled in different directions by those who want something from you.

    Step back, and think of what you want, and what's best, and safest for you.
    HelpinHere's Avatar
    HelpinHere Posts: 1,062, Reputation: 144
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    #10

    Aug 29, 2009, 10:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by bobomark View Post
    Well, first off, you shouldn't let the age thing get in the way.
    Sorry, but you're wrong. If she is young enough to be posting in the teens board, then an eight year difference is way too much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Panthers13 View Post
    I couldn't tell anyone. Or he might end up going to jail.
    You do realize why, don't you? Because he would have been doing something, or someone, that he shouldn't have. If he actually cared for you, he would have waited until you were older, and if you actually cared about him that much, you would have waited to prevent his possible legal trouble.
    Panthers13's Avatar
    Panthers13 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Aug 29, 2009, 08:44 PM

    Me and the other guy I mentioned.. the one that's eight years older... never have done anything! I just don't want to get him in trouble and yes I am a teen thank you very much! If I'm underage I'd have to be. && Trust me my ex girlfriend is far out of my life! I've got a new girlfriend who is my whole world I'd do anything to help her out. And she would do the same for me! We are currently looking into a place to live together.
    ohsohappy's Avatar
    ohsohappy Posts: 1,564, Reputation: 314
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    #12

    Aug 29, 2009, 08:53 PM

    Kay I'm Confused as to how old everyone is, If I knew, I'd understand a bit better and hopefully be able to provide some insight.
    HelpinHere's Avatar
    HelpinHere Posts: 1,062, Reputation: 144
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    #13

    Aug 29, 2009, 08:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Panthers13 View Post
    Me and the other guy i mentioned.. the one that's eight years older... never have done anything! I just don't want to get him in trouble and yes I am a teen thank you very much! If I'm underage I'd have to be. && Trust me my ex girlfriend is far out of my life! I've got a new girlfriend who is my whole world I'd do anything to help her out. And she would do the same for me! We are currently looking into a place to live together.
    You just said underage, you didn't say for what.
    For all we knew, based off the information you gave us, he could have been buying alcohol for you because you were only 20. So, thank you very much for giving us enough information.

    Now, that being said, if you already have it figured out and there are no problems, then why would you come here in the first place? You don't have to take our advice, but that would only be your loss. Getting snippy isn't going to help you any.

    As far as the "looking for a place to live", if you are underage, legally, you aren't allowed to do that, so tough luck.
    Panthers13's Avatar
    Panthers13 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Aug 29, 2009, 09:01 PM

    16 and uhh 23? I think and I don't have anything figured out that's why I'm here... gosh people are so confusing.
    HelpinHere's Avatar
    HelpinHere Posts: 1,062, Reputation: 144
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    #15

    Aug 29, 2009, 09:07 PM

    Sixteen plus eight is twenty-four, not three.

    Seriously, he is nothing good for you, that's all I'm going to say on this matter.
    ohsohappy's Avatar
    ohsohappy Posts: 1,564, Reputation: 314
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    #16

    Aug 29, 2009, 09:10 PM

    Stay away from him. He's sweet talking you for sex, nothing more. The end.
    Panthers13's Avatar
    Panthers13 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Aug 29, 2009, 09:14 PM

    Well seven than my bad. And I don't know b.c. he's been talking to me and being nice to me since March... && we've never done anything...
    HelpinHere's Avatar
    HelpinHere Posts: 1,062, Reputation: 144
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    #18

    Aug 29, 2009, 09:21 PM

    You came here for advice.
    We gave it to you.
    You defend him.

    The people here say the things that you need to hear, the truth, the fact that he is only trying to use you.

    It's your choice to believe the truth or not.
    Panthers13's Avatar
    Panthers13 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Aug 29, 2009, 09:22 PM

    Whatever!!
    Adroitful's Avatar
    Adroitful Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Aug 29, 2009, 09:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ohsohappy View Post
    Stay away from him. He's sweet talking you for sex, nothing more. the end.
    How do you know that these two haven't had an incident sometime in their past that really made them click? What makes you say that he's only in it for sex? Is it just because that's how you feel about the situation? You can't base everything off statistics and opinion really. Not all guys are bad! SOME really might actually care for this girl!

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