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mrgarybennett · Sep 4, 2009, 10:00 PM

Hey guys got question, If I am awarded join't custody can I ask the judge to allow me to claim child every other year on taxes, alternating with mother.

JudyKayTee · Sep 6, 2009, 09:42 AM

You can ask for anything you want - whether the Judge will allow it depends on the Judge.

mrgarybennett · Sep 20, 2009, 06:53 AM

Hey guys been a little while since I've been on this site, well this week is the one, I finally get a chance to speak to someone about mothers alienation from daughter and applying for joint custody. I wasn't able to obtain a lawyer so I have to go it alone for right now. The 24th is the day. I thought this was a hearing but I found out this is what they are calling a schedule conference. Can someone explain to me just what this type of proceeding is, and will this help me to get immediate visitation until actual hearing. What should I be prepared for?

N0help4u · Sep 20, 2009, 07:01 AM

They will basically discuss what is the best interest of the child and plans. Like if they feel either one of you need to take parenting classes and different issues. Basically just a game plan to iron things out the best way they see for your daughter.

Good luck. Let us know what happens.

mrgarybennett · Sep 20, 2009, 07:52 AM

Thanks for the answer nohelpforyou, but what I'm asking is do I present all my documents such as letters from my child's principal, vice principal, and one from her former teacher as well, the principal stated that I was what the school considers a Champion Parent Of The School, they all speak very highly of me becomes I'm involved in everything she does in school during and after. I have a letter from my doctor stating that my health is not a problem as long as I take my meds. I also have a journal dating all the times I was denied visitation and her reasons or lack of one for denying. Will I be asked questions or will I just be ask what is my visitation plan and my reasons for asking for joint-custody, I want to reframe from saying bad things about mother if I can, I want the courts to understand that to me this is about my daughter and our relationship.

JudyKayTee · Sep 20, 2009, 08:09 AM

Do we know what State you are in? In NY - where I am - a schedule conference can be a rather informal conference in side room (not the Courtroom) with a basic overview of the problems/facts/relief requested. This then determines whether the matter should actually be scheduled for hearing or trial.

N0help4u · Sep 20, 2009, 08:11 AM

I am not sure. I think you would.
I would definitely go prepared.
It can't hurt.
Definitely don't bad mouth the mother.
Usually the Judge will give a visitation order but if you can work out one with the mother then that is good.
You and her need to work out if the one that doesn't have primary custody gets her every weekend or every other weekend and how long of a summer vacation. The Judge will say every other holiday and mother on mothers day/father on fathers day if you can't work something out.

mrgarybennett · Sep 20, 2009, 01:27 PM

A while back ,I filed a form called Pendente Lite, for the sole purpose of getting emergency visitation until we get things settled legally, will they at least grant me that relief at a schedule conference. I couldn't bear it if I walked away from this conference and I'm still not able to see my daughter until some future court date, and if all they'll do is advise her to allow visitation and they don't etch this in stone (writing) I'm telling you she will not do it, back to square one

stinawords · Sep 20, 2009, 01:44 PM

If they advise her to allow visitation and she still dosen't then you have that to take to your hearing as well. Really what you need to do is prepare for anything they might ask for but don't be surprised if you don't get to present everything. Basically hope for the best but prepare yourself for the worst.

mrgarybennett · Sep 20, 2009, 03:11 PM

Also recently went on marylandcasesearch.com and discovered that during the time where I said mothers behavior pattern had change. She was charged and had to appear in court for assault second degree and assault with dangerous weapon with intent to injure, same case she appeared as plaintif filing charges against the man she had altercation with this happened on a Wednesday school night, like I said I don't want to bad mouth mother but I will do whatever I need to. Does this infortmation have any use, won't bring it up if it doesn't searve any purpose, I'm not going to court to sling dirt just want to explore every option.

cdad · Sep 21, 2009, 02:45 PM

Originally Posted by mrgarybennett

Also recently went on marylandcasesearch.com and discovered that during the time where i said mothers behavior pattern had change. She was charged and had to appear in court for assault second degree and assault with dangerous weapon with intent to injure, same case she appeared as plaintif filing charges against the man she had altercation with this happened on a wensday school night, like i said i don't want to bad mouth mother but i will do whatever i need to. does this infortmation have any use, won't bring it up if it doesn't searve any purpose, i'm not going to court to sling dirt just want to explore every option.

Yes you should get what copies you can and also watch for the outcome / conviction. Bring it with you to court.

mrgarybennett · Oct 31, 2009, 08:02 AM

First of all I would like to say that everyone who helped me along the way calidorf, 8384, scott and everyone else, thank you. Your wisdom and advice help me to get justice in the family court, I'm sorry that I haven't kept you all updated on what has been going on in this case, I had become so depressed that I just didn't think anything mattered because my daughters mother was telling so many lies. Well to make a long story short, I asked the court to appoint a GAL like 8384 suggested I do, and the judge agreed that one was nessesary, and she immediately recognize mothers lies and manipulation, I was awarded joint-custody legal but mother was awarded sole custody physical. I get her everyday Monday through Friday after school until 700pm, I get her every other weekend and I take her to school on that Monday, that's exactly how it was before, I want to first thank god, and I want to thank everyone who helped me. Child support has yet to be determine, because mother claims I have never given her childsupport, and I still have to prove I did and now that the court hearing is over, I have come up with a few ideas how, the problem is most times I gave her money so there is no trace but I think I've found away, what I want to know is once a decision is made about chilld support, is there a appeal prosess if I don't agree with finding, mother claims I have never given her a dime towards child's school tution which is a lie, I have never missed a payment in my life.

ScottGem · Oct 31, 2009, 08:34 AM

There may be an appeals process, but generally only if there was a procedural error. For example, if a judge didn't allow evidence they should have.

But I think, with the GAL's testimony and the previous history, you won't have too much trouble from now on.

Thanks for letting us know of the happy outcome.

stinawords · Oct 31, 2009, 09:29 AM

Thank you for coming back. As for the appeal you will only be able to file an appeal if the judge screwed up some how, not just if you don't like the outcome. I hope you can find some sort of paper trail for the support payments because that is the only proof that you will be able to show. Did you pay the school directly so you have reciepts from them?

cdad · Oct 31, 2009, 10:23 AM

Thaks for returning and letting us know. Btw you did make a mistake in your reply. So I'd like to make a correction for your peace of mind.

( quote )
I was awarded joint-custody legal but mother was awarded sole custody physical. I get her everyday Monday through Friday after school until 700pm, I get her every other weekend and I take her to school on that Monday,
( end quote )

You have BOTH joint legal and joint physical custody. The mother is still the custodial parent ( meaning she has the greater time share ) but this in no way reflects that she has sole physical custody. Sole would mean you don't have any. Instead you have about 10 - 20 %. That's way better then nothing. So don't degrade yourself or your positin in your child's life. And if this goes well then later it may be expanded even further. Good Luck and if we can help further feel free to ask away.

mrgarybennett · Oct 31, 2009, 04:52 PM

Question, the GAL appointed in our case ask me to write a list of all the things I've purchase in the last 2 years and expenses that I paid in behalf of my daugthter. I did that and at the trial the GAL summitted it to judge, but before it was handed to judge it was given to my daughters mother for her to examine in witch she did. She handed it to the judge after she read it and never said a word, and the list was marked as a exibit. On the very first line of a long list is HALF OF SCHOOL TUTION . What was the point of me writing the list, and the court showing it to her and marking it as evidence? What I'm trying to get at is the Judge seems to be stuck on the fact that my daughters mother claims I've never given her a nickkel for child's school cost, I did get some moneyorders but mostly cash, she got copys of moneyorders from school and my guess is she plucked mines out before coming to court, the judge recognize it because she saithe total of the money orders didn't equal the amount of her school tution for entire year. Half of total was unacounted for (MY HALF) Mother could not explain other than to say she paided it and the school gave her a discount, judge didn't make a ruling on child-support yet because she sent for transcript from school which states child full tution. Doe,s the fact that she did deny anything on that list means she does not object to it, or was it just a exibit that meant nothing.

cdad · Oct 31, 2009, 07:02 PM

Ok, When you enter something like a document into evidence in court. You should always have 4 copies of it ready. 1) for the judge, 1) for the opposing party 1) for yourself and keep the original unless requested filed away.

The opposing party has the right to see the evidence just like you would have the right to view it.

Right now as it stands there is nothing to object to until it comes into question. Later when it comes into play then parts may be rebuked but for right now the opposing party hasn't had any chance for review so its still early.

stinawords · Oct 31, 2009, 07:18 PM

As said it is still to early for there to really have been an objection you guys are still getting everything into court. You still need to find as much proof of your paymenst or reciepts for items purchased for your daughter so that you can have a paper trail and make sure you have copies of everything you find so that you don't just loose it again.

mrgarybennett · Nov 1, 2009, 04:05 AM

Maybe there is some confusion as to the way I explained myself, the custody case has been heard in it's entirety, its over and final. The only issue left is the determination of childsupport which will be received in mail once amount is determined. Mother was given chance to veiw list of chilsupport for last 2 years in courtroom for 10 minutes, and she then handed list to judge and it was marked as exibit a/b. She didn't object to any of it. It's like the trial went on for so long the judge heard so much she completely forgot about it. Or didn't pick it up. It didn't dawn on me until I got home.

stinawords · Nov 1, 2009, 09:51 AM

Have you looked into getting a lawyer (if you don't have one already)? He/She would have been there and would be able to tell you better than we could if you have grounds for an appeal. However, since you haven't even gotten the judgment in the mail there isn't much you can do about it right now.