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cdad · Aug 27, 2009, 12:56 PM

Originally Posted by mrgarybennett

One more question for today. I told you in earlier post that mother had blocked out all of my phone numbers from her phone, but my little girl will find away to talk to me by calling her aunt(my sister) to call me on two-way, and she will often get upset if for some reason she can't through to me. I solve that problem by buying a prepaid cell-phone and giving her the number when she did reach me. I told her do not give number to mother in fear of her blocking that number to. Is that practicing alienation? am I doing what she's doing I don't want to harm my child in anyway, but I don't have any other choice if I want to communicate with her at all.

What you are doing is putting the child in the middle. That's not good at all because your asking her to choose. Is that alone parental alienation no but if you read through that article then you would see that it is bad for you child. You are planting the seed of mistrust in her mother. You can file an emergency order and in it also state about phone calls etc so you do get some visitation before your trial / hearing. But you should NEVER throw your child into the middle of your conflict with your ex. That's bad news for everyone. As the adult and the parent you have to run for higher ground and deal with it within the law.

mrgarybennett · Aug 27, 2009, 05:46 PM

I hear you and your right, it's because I did read article that I asked that question. In no means do I wish to cause harm to child. Love way too much. Must think things out more clearly when I make decisions about this situation. You as well as someone else mentioned a emergency visitation form, I enquired about that and was told by a lawyer referral service that what I needed to file was a form called permente lite visitation. This was supposed to get me visitation until hearing.

N0help4u · Aug 27, 2009, 06:07 PM

On sept. 24 you need to tell the Judge that she has refused you visiting and talking to your daughter. You can also request that picking up and dropping off your daughter be through a third party or that it be done in a public place where she won't feel as free to start an argument with you.

cdad · Aug 27, 2009, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by mrgarybennett

I hear you and your right, it's because I did read article that I asked that question. In no means do I wish to cause harm to child. love way to much. Must think things out more clearly when I make decisions about this situation. You as well as someone else mentioned a emergency visitation form, I enquired about that and was told by a lawyer referral service that what I needed to file was a form called permente lite visitation. This was supposed to get me visitation until hearing.

Also in the order you could turn over the cell phone to your child or get them a kids one that only allows numbers you put into it. That way mom has to allow it and so long as its not abused you should be OK.

this8384 · Aug 28, 2009, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Also in the order you could turn over the cell phone to your child or get them a kids one that only allows numbers you put into it. That way mom has to allow it and so long as its not abused you should be ok.

That's a great idea; one of those kid's phones that you program Mom & Dad into and all they have to do is push a button.

Of course, the mother could always take the phone but that would be another thing against her; she'd have no grounds for it.

mrgarybennett · Aug 28, 2009, 11:58 AM

Thanks everyone once again for excellent advice, I'll try to give it to her when we have the hearing. Question of today, I mention in earlier post that I did not have a lawyer because funds were low, well there's been a change in that situation I was forunate to come across a little money and it should be enough to attain a lawyer, people have told me including employees at the family court system said I had a good case and shouldn't need one. The money could be put to other things (bills) but I want to achieve a fair level of justice when we go to trial. Again my objective is not to destroy mother, or separate her in anyway from our daughter, despite the way she's treating me and my parental rights I know she loves our daughter as well. I just want to make sure I'm apart of her life for as long as god grants me time on this earth. So do you think the money will be well spent with lawyer? I do.

ScottGem · Aug 28, 2009, 12:03 PM

First, I agree you appear to have a good case. However, if the mother has an attorney then you absolutely need one. It would be like going against a master fencer with a wooden stick.

Whenever you deal with the legal system, it is advisable to have legal counsel. They can make sure you present your case properly and in the best light.

mrgarybennett · Aug 28, 2009, 04:41 PM

Hey Everbody, got question being as though I've done all the leg work in my join't custody hearing, such as filing all the forms and bascially I just need him to present my case to the court and protect my rights, would the fee be the same or does the fact that I did all the leg work make it any cheaper?

stinawords · Aug 28, 2009, 05:46 PM

It really depends on your attorney and the way they charge. Some are sticklers and charge for every piece of paper every phone call and if the step on a bug for you. Others however, have a much more broad billing where it is a certain amount per hour with out all the other stuff. So, assuming (which Iknow is a bad idea) you filled everything correctly it should be somewhat less expensive. But keep in mind that you will still have to pay.

mrgarybennett · Aug 30, 2009, 10:34 AM

Hey guys, I have a question or I should say I could used some advice concerning my present situation, as I mentioned in earlier post, mother had blocked all 3 of my phone numbers on her phone in attempt to further alienate me from my child. I also mention previously that I purchased a cell phone and gave child number so she could call when she wanted to. Mother knows of this I think because she always picks up the phone to listen to our conversations, we can both (my child} and I hear her, but I continue to keep talking about whatever subject wer'e talking about. My problem comes when my daughter starts asking me why won't I come and pick her up? Have I forgot about us? Do I still love her, etc... Needless to say this is a very painful and frustrating experience for the both of us. I fumble over my answers, partly because I know mother is on the other end thinking she's secretly listening to us trying to hear god knows what. My daughter has always look to me for guidance and direction, I've always been the daddy that could do anything in her eyesight. Fathers you know what I mean, if your little girl believes you tangled with alligators and lions, you tell her the stories about it. Now I feel totally helpless because I can't seem to fix this, all I can manage to say is [I know you don't understand fully what's going on, but it's important that you know daddy and mommy both love you, and I'm working with your mother to fix this as soon as possible] she's tired of hearing that' and her morale and spirit is getting low', she's about to go back to school next week and I don't want her distracted by this situation, does ANYBODY know of any comforting words that I could give my child that will help her cope, until this problem is resolved. I apologize in advance for the misuse of this site ,I know its meant for legal questions, sorry...

N0help4u · Aug 30, 2009, 10:44 AM

You need to tell the Judge that she is alienating you with your daughter by her tactics and you want a good relationship with your daughter without the sabotaging.

cdad · Aug 30, 2009, 02:36 PM

At this point there isn't much you can say because of what's going on. Here you might find some resources or books you can get at the library to study up on what's going on with all your lives.

KIDS' TURN www.kidsturn.org

There are also books for children too.

mrgarybennett · Aug 31, 2009, 12:22 PM

Hey guys back again, problem now is mother won't allow me to provide for my child, denying me vistation is one thing now she won't allow me to take care of her. I asked my daughter when she managed to call, what she needed for school and she keeps telling me mother said she is getting it all, now that's something mother has never done, she's always been more than willing to let me buy her stuff, been doing it every since she started school, does this sound like a tactic for when we go to court and she saying I'm not doing anything for her,my daughter goes to priivate school, so I paid her school tution for this month $380.00. We normally go half, but I forgot you have to pay a month in advance {July} she must have paid my end last month, but she never said anything, so I went to school today and paid full tution, Is this some kind of tactic for childsupport, I'm sure she wasn't going to say anything this month either about it. If she won't allow me to take care of my child,what can I do?

cdad · Aug 31, 2009, 02:33 PM

I know its hard but try to relax. Don't get sucked into the game playing void. As far as private school goes it is not a requirement that your child attend so its an option. Like it or not its not going to be part of the support for the child. For now just hang in there and don't do anything stupid. Its not that far away. Did you consider getting an emergency order yet ?

mrgarybennett · Aug 31, 2009, 09:26 PM

Yes I did several weeks ago, I explained my situation over the phone to a family lawyer hotline service that I got from the family law office, and he said I had to fill out a form called permente lite visitation, I don't know if that's the Maryland version of a emergency visitation form or not, but it was supposed get me visitation until hearing, but no such luck yet. I mention in a earlier post that they consolidated our cases, and my case is to be the lead case. What does that mean?

mrgarybennett · Sep 1, 2009, 10:18 AM

Hello, anybody home?

this8384 · Sep 1, 2009, 11:18 AM

If your case is the "lead" case, I would assume that to mean that they're giving your case priority over a lot of others.

I know it's frustrating how slow the system is - my husband had a hearing on the 14th and was granted temporary primary placement and will get back any child support that he has paid since mid-July. The only problem with that is that the actual order hasn't been entered yet so even though we have the kids and are feeding, clothing and bathing them, his exwife is still getting support right now. But it will come soon enough and like others have said, you seem to have a pretty good case. So just try to be patient... even though that is probably the hardest thing to do right now :)

cdad · Sep 1, 2009, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by mrgarybennett

Yes I did several weeks ago, I explained my situation over the phone to a family lawyer hotline service that I got from the family law office, and he said I had to fill out a form called permente lite visitation, I don't know if that's the Maryland version of a emergency visitation form or not, but it was supposed get me visitation until hearing, but no such luck yet. I mention in a earlier post that they consolidated our cases, and my case is to be the lead case. What does that mean?

Im not sure what you mean by no such luck but I think its because of your spelling. What you are seeking is actually called a " pendente lite " custody order.

Ref:
Modification of Custody or Visitation in a Maryland Divorce

Since the cases were put together yours is the first to be considered. Should it caus changes then the other cause may be dropped or annulled. Lead case = First in line.

Also please try to remember this is a volunteer site. Many of us have jobs away from this board and we aren't paid to come here. So give at least 24hrs for reponses please. Also try to remember in many cases we need to do research so we aren't just blowing smoke and giving the wrong advice. It takes time. And this site is free to all visitors. Please be patient.

mrgarybennett · Sep 1, 2009, 09:25 PM

What I meant by "no such luck" is that I did file the permente lite form for emergency visitation, and I still haven't seen my child or heard anything else about it. Sorry for my impatience, That has always been a problem for me.

this8384 · Sep 2, 2009, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by mrgarybennett

What I meant by "no such luck" is that I did file the permente lite form for emergency visitation, and I still havn't seen my child or heard anything else about it. Sorry for my impatience,. that has always been a problem for me.

I know how you feel; I'm not really impatient but I don't like the feeling that I don't know what's going on or what's going to happen. And with court, anything can happen. Just hire a good attorney, let them represent your case which seems to be pretty strong, and take it one day at a time.