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    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #21

    Aug 19, 2009, 09:11 AM

    You can't just jump out of a ten year relationship and hop into another one. That screams of dependence and lonliness issues. It takes time to heal from a break up regardless of the situation. In all honesty, yes, you seem to be a rebound. Convenience over love.
    Sooo Confused's Avatar
    Sooo Confused Posts: 21, Reputation: 5
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    #22

    Aug 19, 2009, 09:15 AM

    I understand how someone from the outside not involved would see it, but he and I were NOT strangers, we knew each other for two years, and yes he and his ex hung around with my crowd, but its not like we did not know each other, he had time to heal before he walked away from his ex. He got over her, and now he is with me. I am sorry, I don't feel I am a rebound. Everyone keeps saying that, but unless you have been in my shoes, you really have no idea what you are talking about. I am not a convience for him, he loves me with all of his heart. His ex is a thing of the past.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #23

    Aug 19, 2009, 09:19 AM
    There you go being defensive again. YOU ARE NOT BEING ATTACKED HERE!!!!
    but I would say that he is over his ex, and their relationship.
    Then stop punishing him, and being distrustful, and build, not tear down.
    Sooo Confused's Avatar
    Sooo Confused Posts: 21, Reputation: 5
    New Member
     
    #24

    Aug 19, 2009, 09:21 AM

    How am I being distrustful? I have done NOTHING wrong. I am not punishing him, I am protecting myself, until I can freely forgive him. I know over time I can do it, I was hoping for a quick way to do it, that is why I posted my question here, but you people just like to judge and don't offer me any real advice, so I guess I will figure it out for myself. Thanks for your time.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #25

    Aug 19, 2009, 10:07 AM
    Methinks you were looking for some magic potion that would make everything go your way.life s not like that.my opinion as regards your partner is that no one heals from such a longterm partnership as the one he left in a couple of months.
    Sooo Confused's Avatar
    Sooo Confused Posts: 21, Reputation: 5
    New Member
     
    #26

    Aug 19, 2009, 10:22 AM

    Yes a magic potion would be great about now, lol! I just wish we could be as happy as he is promising me we will be. Its just a question of when, and that is where I would love some sort of magic spell to help me. Where is Criss Angel when I need him? LOL
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #27

    Aug 19, 2009, 10:24 AM

    Relationships are about development of personalities towards a common goal. Just take it slow, be aware of each other's actions, communicate and be patient. That's really all you can ask for. Don't over analyze and don't always assume. Be there for each other, get through this rough time together and see what kind of level ground you stand on at a day to day basis.
    Sooo Confused's Avatar
    Sooo Confused Posts: 21, Reputation: 5
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    #28

    Aug 19, 2009, 10:31 AM

    Okay, thanks Kctiger for your help. I really do appreciate an insightful approach to this situation. I know I do come off as defensive, and I somewhat am in a way, because I would hate to step back and see that this was all for nothing. I would hate to admit this relationship was a failure from the start, and that how we started deserves the karma I am getting now. But thanks everyone for your assistance, and I will see what happens from here.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #29

    Aug 19, 2009, 01:20 PM

    Good luck.:-)

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