Check out some similar questions!

StrawberryField · Aug 14, 2009, 06:44 AM

My husband and I have been married for 5 years, I am 25 and he is 30. When we first started dating we would have sex all the time, but just before we got married, his sex drive plumetted and it's been low ever since. We have a great relationship and communication. We've talked about it to death, and it's always the same response from him "i don't know what's wrong with me--i just don't have the need for it!"

For years I have tried to initiate things, but would keep getting rejected, so now I have just given up, as I would rather not try than keep getting rejected. He also stops things at the root, like when we get in bed he'll make it abundently clear that he's "exhausted". When we do have sex--it's amazing--and both of us really enjoy it (although the entire time he's just working to get me off--it seems like that's his only goal, and can't relax and just enjoy himself). Lately it's gotten even worse (maybe once a month!), I know he's stressed at work and can completely understand that--I love him so much, but I am really at my witt's end.:confused:

Synnen · Aug 14, 2009, 08:04 AM

Has he seen his doctor about his loss of libido?

That's a good place to start.

StrawberryField · Aug 14, 2009, 08:56 AM

Unfortunately we're sort of new to town and it's impossible to find a doctor... I would like for him to go and see--so hopefully we'll find one soon.

Thanks!

jenniepepsi · Aug 14, 2009, 09:05 AM

I hope you find one.

Until you do, let me suggest that 1, you get yourself some toys, as it can be terribly frustrating to not get the satisfaction your craving.

Also, try some board games. I always suggest this because they are a great way to get the mood going and get the intimacy flowing. Some of my favorites are sexual truths and dares, and games that help you learn more about eachothers sexual desires.

And try to spice it up a bit. Go out for dinner and dancing and perhaps some drinking if you guys are into that, and go to a hotel and just try to have fun. Don't worry about sex. Worrying about sex can tend to put pressure on the issue and make it harder to reach.

StrawberryField · Aug 14, 2009, 09:33 AM

Thanks! Me too!

I absolutely have my toys... it has been 5 years lol

I'd love to try those board games... I have been thinking about that actually.

Thanks for the advice on spicing things up... I'll give it a shot for sure.

Cheers!