[MsMewiththat]

Ok thanks your really making this easier for me:) .. I don't think I could go through an aborision I couldn't live with it. Should I tell both my parents at the same time or one at a time?

Whatever situation you feel most comfortable with is what is best for you. Ifyou are closer to your mom then go to her. IF it's your Dad then go to him. If you don't want to do it alone ask your sister for her support. It's going to be okay.

[Alty]

Ok thanks your really making this easier for me:) .. I don't think I could go through an aborision I couldn't live with it. Should I tell both my parents at the same time or one at a time?

Sit them both down, tell them together. They'll need eachothers support too, after all, just like you, they're human, not just mom and dad. :)

Be calm, tell them, let them know that you're scared and don't know what to do.

They may be shocked at first, they may even be angry, but after that they'll be there for you, because that's what we do as parents.

They love you, they only want the best for you, they know how hard this is going to be that's why they may be upset and angry, but after all that, you're still their child.

We're here if you need to talk, but right now you need to talk to mom and dad.

Good luck Susan, don't be scared.

[susanx94]

Well il see how I feel in the morning hopeflly il have the courrage to tell them. il talk later. x

[Justwantfair]

Ok thanks your really making this easier for me:) .. I don't think I could go through an aborision I couldn't live with it. Should I tell both my parents at the same time or one at a time?

I have experience being a teen mom, I was 17 when I got pregnant with my son.
There isn't anything admirable about being a teenage mother.
Thankfully I only had one semester of high school left before I graduated, so I attended while pregnant.
It was a whole new change of direction for me.
No longer was college an option since my parents don't make a lot of money.
I think an open adoption is a very admirable choice.
I can not even begin to tell you what you have in store for you, but it isn't all rainbows and gumdrops.

[Alty]

Well il see how I feel in the morning hopeflly il have the courrage to tell them. il talk later. x

Keep us posted. The sooner you tell them the sooner this is off your plate, and really, you have a lot on your plate right now.

If you need to talk, we're here.

Take care of yourself.

[Synnen]

I'd just like to say that open adoption is JUST as hard as parenting--but in different ways.

That's what I chose at 17, and I've never regretted it, though I've been sad for myself several times since then.

You need to do what is best for you, but also what is best for your baby (if you decide to carry to term).

Get your parents advice. Get counseling. Talk to other teen moms, to adoptive parents, to birthparents, to everyone---but YOU have to make your choice. YOU are the one that will have to live with that choice for the rest of your life--not your parents, not your friends, not your pastor, not your school counselor, not whoever. YOU.

We're here if you need to talk, but ultimately you have to make a very adult decision sometime in the next nine months.

[Alty]

No matter what decision she makes it's not going to be easy.

This is going to be mentally, physically and emotionally draining.

Synnen is right, ultimately the decision is yours and yours alone, and none of the options is going to be easy.

You do need support, but you also need to get the information available in order to decide what you're going to do.

Whatever you choose, we're here for you to talk to.

[susanx94]

I told my mum she was kind of speechless and looked very disapointed. She said that she will book me a docs appoment just to be certain andshe doesn't know how to tell my dad because he will flip.. next step is prob letting some of my closest mates to know?

[Justwantfair]

I told my mum she was kinda speechless and looked very disapointed. she said that she will book me a docs appoment just to be certain andshe doesn't know how to tell my dad coz he will flip.. next step is prob letting some of my closest mates to know?

You will need support, but don't expect that all of your mates will take to the information well. Some will be naïve to what you are going through.

I think you should be thinking about what your options are. You are going to have a difficult time this school year as I imagine you will be due in the second half of your school year. There are increased dangers to carrying a baby to term when your body is not developed into a woman's form.

You have a difficult and long road ahead of you. This isn't a situation that is going to be as pleasant as you are hoping. I really hope you research all of your options. There are pros and cons to all of them.

I definitely understand your mother's disappointment and I can just imagine how your father will react, my father blew up and couldn't look at me, whenever there was any happiness or excitement about the upcoming child, he would blow up all over again. I know he was just very disappointed. It changed my whole life, it changed my potential and changed everything I had ever hoped for or dreamed of.

I am not going to sugarcoat what you have ahead of you, but here is just a bit of my experience. I lived at home until my son was six months. The father left the picture, didn't pay his obligated support and I worked two jobs, 60-70 hours a week to try and live paycheck to paycheck. I received assistance for daycare expenses, but that is really just making taxpayers help pay for my ignorant behavior. Every night I would get home exhausted, feed my son and put him to bed, giving me all of maybe an hour with my child EVERYDAY. I lived off Ramen noodles, a cheap blah dish, but it was all I could afford. It was a step up when I could afford hot dogs for dinner. I couldn't date, I lost all of my friends because I had other obligations. My son didn't know or care who I was because he spent more time with everyone other than me between daycare and grandparents. I never got to bond with my son like I did with my following child when I was more stable to be a parent. This scenerio went on for the first four years until I lost my job because my son had ear infections so often that I was terminated for missing work. I then had to work second shift, find a new sitter, who in the end had a husband who was spanking my son. The situations continued on and to look back I regret my irresponsiblity to this day.

A teenage mother road is a very difficult road to traverse.

[Alty]

It is a hard road, no matter what you choose.

It sounds like your mother is taking charge, doing what she feels she must at this point, I'm glad she's giving you the support you need.

Just remember, no matter what, this is your body, your baby, your decision. Do not let anyone talk you into doing something you don't want.

Abortion or Adoption are always the first thought when you're a pregnant teen. It just seems the most logical choice, but it isn't as easy as all that. Both those choices are difficult at best. You need to research them, know what will happen. This isn't only physical, it's emotional.

Keeping the child seems like such a burden, and yes, it is going to be hard, there will be many times when you think that you can't handle it. You need to do research about this too.

You have three options, only three, but each option is difficult. There is no easy choice here, you can't just close your eyes and pick one, you have to be comfortable with what you choose.

I really can't begin to understand exactly what you're going through. Thankfully I've never been in this position, I can only imagine what you're dealing with right now.

There are many people on this site that have been where you are now. Some of them chose abortion, some adoption, others decided to keep their child. The best thing for you is to listen to all of them, but do your own research as well.

I'm babbling, sorry. I really wish I had a quick fix for you, but I don't. All I can offer is a sounding board, a shoulder, the rest is up to you.

[Synnen]

I'm not one to tell you what choice to make. YOU have to live with it, YOU have to make it through the night when it's too silent, or too much crying, when your thoughts scream at you over and over, maddeningly.

I got pregnant at 16, gave birth at 17.

I chose adoption.

My reasons are my own--I suspect that every single woman who chooses adoption has several intertwined reasons for doing so.

It's not easy. 17 years later, it's STILL not easy. I STILL ache with "what ifs". I still cry when I get her pictures each year, even though I'm also so proud of her I could burst. I missed her first day of school, her first tooth, her first step, her first date. I missed the first time she laughed. I also missed all the times AFTER that---and that's what most people don't talk about. I missed her second day of school, and I missed when she walked out the door to school this morning. I missed her first play, and I missed her proudly showing off the props she's working on for her senior play. I missed dance recitals, soccer games, and screaming because there's a spider in her room.

I also GOT to go to college, and travel the country. I got to go to parties in college and take off for Montana to see Old Faithful just for the hell of it. I got to date without wondering how it would affect my child. I got to spend money on clothes for ME, and horrible shoes, and classy suits. I got to go to job interviews without worrying about a babysitter.

Best of all, I got to see my daughter grow up with TWO parents, in a stable comfortably-off home. I got to hear about piano lessons I wouldn't have been able to afford, and horseback camps, and dance classes and karate classes. I got to know that she was getting a GOOD upbringing, by parents who love her at least as much as I do, and to me that's priceless. She has had all the things I would NOT have been able to give her as a young teenage mother--including time and attention.

So--was it worth it? I don't know. I don't regret it--but god it HURTS sometimes. She's happy, and healthy, and she knows that the choice I made for her future, I made of love for her.

Society is NOT good to birthmothers. Regardless how noble everyone thinks it is, they also think there's something a little wrong with you, because THEY could never give their child away. You'll feel very alone, a lot of the time. What gets you through is knowing that your child is safe, happy, healthy, and loved.

Again--only YOU can make this decision. YOU need to talk to a counselor about it, in my opinion, someone who can explain ALL of your options, and go through the pros and cons of each with you.

[Alty]

Synn, I have to spread the rep and frankly, I don't think a little green dot is enough.

You are an amazing woman, the strength you have, the love you have, it's incredible.

I am proud to have you as a friend. I can't say it any better then that. :)

[moons_girl909]

I've never been in this place,but I can see what dose it looks like . Good luck!

[rachelbunny]

Hi,I'm 26.

I had a baby when I was 18 and my older sister had one when she was 16, so I have some experience in this field, lol. First of all, it's a possibility that you could be pregnant or have caught something but then again you may not have. Don't panic, tell your sister or a friend that you know you can trust. Get a pregnancy test from the chemist or supermarket and find out the truth before you tell anyone else. If you are pregnant, make an appointment with your doctor. If you are not pregnant, let this be a lesson learnt that the consequences from having sex at this young age is not worth the mental stress and worry. If you must do it again, use a condom.

If you are pregnant, it's not the end of the world, tell your mum, she might be a little upset, but she will help you a lot and in the end she will be a doting granny!

Don't keep putting it off, you need to know one way or the other and get the support you need if you need it. Xx

[Alty]

hi,i'm 26.

i had a baby when i was 18 and my older sister had one when she was 16, so i have some experience in this field, lol. First of all, it's a possibility that you could be pregnant or have caught something but then again you may not have. Don't panic, tell your sister or a friend that you know you can trust. Get a pregnancy test from the chemist or supermarket and find out the truth before you tell anyone else. If you are pregnant, make an appointment with your doctor. If you are not pregnant, let this be a lesson learnt that the consequences from having sex at this young age is not worth the mental stress and worry. If you must do it again, use a condom.

If you are pregnant, it's not the end of the world, tell your mum, she might be a little upset, but she will help you a lot and in the end she will be a doting granny!

Don't keep putting it off, you need to know one way or the other and get the support you need if you need it. xx

Please read all posts before responding.

The OP has already taken a pregnancy test and it's positive.

[J_9]

hi,i'm 26.

i had a baby when i was 18 and my older sister had one when she was 16, so i have some experience in this field, lol. First of all, it's a possibility that you could be pregnant or have caught something but then again you may not have. Don't panic, tell your sister or a friend that you know you can trust. Get a pregnancy test from the chemist or supermarket and find out the truth before you tell anyone else. If you are pregnant, make an appointment with your doctor. If you are not pregnant, let this be a lesson learnt that the consequences from having sex at this young age is not worth the mental stress and worry. If you must do it again, use a condom.

If you are pregnant, it's not the end of the world, tell your mum, she might be a little upset, but she will help you a lot and in the end she will be a doting granny!

Don't keep putting it off, you need to know one way or the other and get the support you need if you need it. xx

Did you actually take the time to read all the posts? Apparently not! She already found out she is pregnant.

Before answering questions please make sure to read ALL the posts.

[rachelbunny]

How dare you criticise me for trying to help a young girl. I am new at this, and I didn't see any other answers to her plight. Don't be so petty, it's not helping anyone!

[JudyKayTee]

How dare you criticise me for trying to help a young girl. I am new at this, and I didn't see any other answers to her plight. Don't be so petty, it's not helping anyone!

It's not about trying to help. It's about reading the entire thread, seeing what the question/problem is and responding to it.

How was your answer helpful to the person who is pregnant?

Maybe in your family unwed pregnancies at 16 and 18 work out for the best for both mother and child - that is not the case in all families and you have to be sensitive to that.

And as far as your attitude - count the number of posts between J_9 and "Alty," both experts, and the number of times you've posted and you will see how far out of line you are.

[J_9]

1 word clinic or pregantcy test from drug store

Please check the dates of the post and read all posts in a thread prior to answering.

This thread was from August 2009 and the OP already found out she is pregnant. So a pregnancy test suggestion is too late.

Thread closed.