[Eurogirl]

Hello,

I am together with my boyfriend for a year. We live together since we met and have close life together. He started his own Company and is under a lot of pressure. But we loose our Relationship - I work 40 hours a week every morning at 5.00 so there is not a lot of time in the week to do something together. And when it comes to the weekend, he seems to do everything else than spending time with me. He tells me that he only has Sunday really off, but when it comes to a Birthday from a Mate or his old Boss is asking him for a beer on Saturday Day time, I have to do what he wants to do to spent time with him or I get left home.So he drops his work day for every occasion but not for me. I come from overseas so I don't have a lot friends here. And the friends that I have are in relationships so they spent the weekend with their partner. Like I think it should be.

He is not interested in Sex either, yes he tries sometimes but most the time I have to talk and say HELLOOO I have needs! And he use the excuse I would make him feel like it is a job to do, not fun time. If he would do it from himself and make me feel sexual attractive I didn't have to remind so often. But when I don't say anything there comes nothing. I pleasure him as much as I can, he don't gives it back because he says: I don't know how to pleasure you - than start trying.
Sometimes I cry for hours because I feel like I go crazy, that one weekend together is to
Much expected. I cook, clean but I am not perfect and when I don't cook for 2 days, he looks at me like the world is going under. He even ask me last night if we should get a housekeeper that he pays 15. $ an hour, Isn't that so rude to me and it hurts.
He gave up surprising me with something beautiful, like a flower or something else.

And then he blames me, if I wouldn't go that early in bed in the week we could see each other more, but I need some sleep. I feel everything I am doing is wrong and when I cry so much I scream and we fight and he has a another excuse to not spent the weekend with me.And I should be grateful that he gives me the Sunday. Because he says that he didn't even have time for himself - but what should I do? I am lonely and I feel not loved and I am so young (24) I don't want to wait for someone to see me and love me. I really love him - I don't won't to be without him! Do I expect too much?

[Romefalls19]

It sounds like you two are moving in opposite directions to me. While you think his priorities should be to the relationship more than what they are now, he feels his responsibility is to his job. You two really need to have a talk about where you two are heading because right now, both of you are so far away from each other emotionally. Communication will help, if you two can't reach a middle ground then you need to decide on a path for the relationship

[zippit]

No you don't expect too much.

You do need to make some adjustments

First of all take him up on the offer to get a

Housekeeper and don't take it personal just

"you know i would like some help around here"

Then try to adjust your schedule around his

I know your getting up early and that can

Make you tired early,so with the added help

You will have less to do then you can rest and

Hopefully be ready to enjoy an evening

You might have to start with him and his

Friends doing things he wants but evintually

You can start to suggest other things to do

That you want to do you need to try to reach

Out to the lifestyle he wants to have.

He has his own business he may have contacts

He's trying to be with that's not to say your job

And your wishes don't count I just think if you

Join in and take him up on the offer of getting

Some help around the house and try it his way

It would be the best for you

[talaniman]

You have only been together a year, and your still learning each others ways, so you have to make some adjustments through honest communications. I won't get into the fact I think you both moved to fast into this, but now that you are, it's a learning thing. For you both, so you can compromise.

Some weekends he does his thing and you do yours, but for now take him up on his invitations and let him know what you would like to do. Be specific, and for gosh sakes have some friends of your own. Its just not healthy to depend on him for your own fun.

But when I don't say anything there comes nothing. I pleasure him as much as I can, he don't gives it back because he says: I don't know how to pleasure you - than start trying.

Another example of poor communications, tell him what you want. If he then is unwilling, then you have a problem. Surprised he hasn't asked you what you like.

You both have to be willing to make adjustments, but you shouldn't take everything he does or says personally, that's going to distract you from paying attention to what he is really saying, or what your NOT saying.

Relationships, especially living together, is about how much work your both willing to do, and how well you work together through honest communications.

The housekeeper, if you can afford it, was a good idea.

How old are you both?

[Eurogirl]

Thank you all for your help and I got some really good things out of it. And Talaniman you made me clear that we have to work on our communication. And I will have to find some more things for my own fun. We are both 24. So enough time to work on it.

And its Sunday know and I can't believe it but he spent yesterday with me and it looks like we going to spent today together again.
Also we had a chat yesterday about our situation and we decided that I only work 30 hours and so I be more relaxed and we can share a day in the week together. He wants me to be happy, but he has to work that hard, otherwise he going to loose his house, car and other responsablitys - and he says that if that's happening he going to loose me anyway. That is not true, but I have to support him through this time. I also think about going to study again - to find my own space and come more independent.

Eurogirl

[missmuffet89]

I can relate to the first paragraph. The only thing different is that he seems to only pay attention to me when he wants sex and he gets so passionate about it but like 2 hours after we have had sex the man I fell in love with is gone.