[flossie]

My daughter and grandson live with us. He rarely goes to bed before 8pm. Once he's in bed, story read, drink of water, kisses and tucking in he rarely will stay there. He is probably up and down up to 6 times before he finally stays put. That doesn't mean he's sleeping though. When we go to bed between 9:30 and 10:00 we can hear him talking or singing to himself. He doesn't nap through the day and he wakes up between 6 and 7 in the morning.

Any suggestions on how to keep him in bed when he's tucked in the first time? We've tried the reward system. Works well for about a week.

[stevetcg]

Have you tried duct tape? ;)

Seriously... we were having that problem with our 3 year old... so we started putting him to bed earlier. Sounds counter intuitive, but from everything I have read, it works. It did for us. Some nights he is up until 9:30 or so, but most he is asleep by 8 or 815. (moved bedtime from 8:30 to 7:30)

[J_9]

Is he quite active before bedtime? Children of that age need a "cooling down" period. The bath, story, etc, should start much earlier so that he begins to wind down before being put into bed.

[flossie]

He has a bath but when he gets out he takes off like a shot to run around naked. He wants us to chase but by that time Nana is too tired to chase after him:p

It's even more difficult now with it being light outside so much later. I can't wait until it's dark at 5 again! I can't believe I just said that!:eek:

[dontknownuthin]

Establish a routine, and you make the decisions at the end of the day. Bath, brush teeth and have a sip of water, pajamas, clean up toys, say goodnight and hugs and kisses all around, and have him go to the bathroom last of all. Then he gets to bed. He's already done everything on the list, so the answer to whatever he wants to do is "no". If he gets up, put him back in the bed firmly but gently. No additional hugs or kisses or pats on the back- just do the job of getting him physically into the bed.

Don't hold the door shut on him or anything - the idea is to outlast him until he's compliant. You might have to get him back in bed many times several nights in a row but eventually he's go along with it. It can be helpful to have two people taking turns putting him to bed - just do not make it fun or he'll turn it into a game.

I vote for starting to put him to bed at seven. He may fight you until 8. If he cries, he cries. You be unemotional and don't get angry - he's learning, your teaching. Don't be harsh or rough but don't feel sorry for him, either.

If you must say something, say, "it's bedtime now" and to whatever he asked for, "no, it's bedtime now." Don't reason or argue with him.

And do not give in or you'll set yourself up for it to be harder next time.

Good luck - it does work! He's looking for the boundary, and you just need to show him where it is!

[Fr_Chuck]

Ok, call me a bad parent or grandparent ( I am both) why does he have to go to bed at 8 pm. And for heavens sake before 8 ?

But agreed, there needs to be routine, and a slow down period with no play, quiet reading a story to him and he reading to you as he learns to read.
No action TV or cartoons. My son and I watch a cooking show for his last 1/2 hour.

But even if he does not go to bed to 10 if he sleeps to 7 that is still 9 hours of sleep

[stevetcg]

Ok, call me a bad parent or grandparent ( I am both) why does he have to go to bed at 8 pm. And for heavens sake before 8 ?

But agreed, there needs to be routine, and a slow down period with no play, quiet reading a story to him and he reading to you as he learns to read.
no action TV or cartoons. My son and I watch a cooking show for his last 1/2 hour.

But even if he does not go to bed to 10 if he sleeps to 7 that is still 9 hours of sleep

Because kids that age need 12 hours or so of sleep a day. If they aren't taking naps, putting them to bed after 8 makes for much later starts to days, which doesn't work if there is daycare/school/activities involved.

[flossie]

Thank you all for your replies. It was so much easier getting my own children into a good bed time routine but my grandson is so much harder for me. I guess I'm just a sucker for a cute face:rolleyes:

[DoulaLC]

Maybe try letting him do quiet activities while he is in bed. He can read/look at books, do wood puzzles, play quietly, etc. but he has to stay in bed. This way his body is still winding down from the day.

How is his behavior and activity level during the day? Just as adults, kids will go through stages of various sleep requirements. Some require more than others and it can vary with different stages of their development.

[flossie]

He's a busy boy for the most part but not mischievous. He can be kept occupied with puzzles, colouring, crafts, etc. but LOVES to run and jump!

[jenniepepsi]

Mmm I gues I will be the first to say that it can be completely normal, even with a strict and good relaxing routine. My duaghter stops playing at 7, gets to sit and relax with a few books. About 730 will get up go potty brush teeth (take bath on bathnights) get a drink, give kisses, get tucked in, (we even have a special routine of '5 kisses because I'm 5' with her)

We have had this routine non stop for 3 years now. I only deviated a few times, once on new years last year, her first year getting to stay up for the countdown, and just last night, when she was about to go in for 'surgery' today (she got a crown on her tooth, but they put her under, and I was worried about my baby going under for the first time) so she got to sleep with mommy last night.

But low and behold, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, no matter HOW tired she may be... she is up several times 'mommy I got to tell you something' 'momy I got to go potty again' mommy I want another drink' mommy I hear a funny noise' ANYTHING to get her out of bed one more time lol.


All you really can do is put him back into bed, and KEEP putting him back into bed until he goes to sleep. And don't worrie about the talking/singing to himself, many children do this to relax and get to sleep.

Don't worrie it won't last for ever hon. Good luck.

*sorry this turned out so long*

[jenniepepsi]

Also I wanted to add, something that worked for a while with my daughter is tellling her 'you don't have to go to sleep, but you must stay in bed.' that way he feels like HE is making the CHOICE to go to sleep hehe kids love choices.

[flossie]

I'll have to try that one. Maybe a bit of reverse psychology (you don't have to go to sleep) will work ;) I'll try that line tonight jennie!