[brandygrl]

:confused:Help,
I have only been married for two years , and me and my husband are already talking about a divorce, He threatens me with this all the time. I am getting scared, the house we live in is in his name, Even though I have helped with bills and remodeling and bought other items to help value. He says I will be made to leave after the divorce is completed. I have lived here with him for 4 years now, And I am guessing I have invested about 15 to 20 thousand. What can I do to assure myself , that I won't loose everything I contributed on while together?

Personally I have been there and speaking from a women's stand point I wouldn't risk yor marriage for a fling, Because even though she may say she loves you and still wants you.. Doesn't mean give up what god has blessed you with. Sometimes what was good way back is often ruined years later.. Taking a risk losing a good women who you took the time to get to know, and who trust you with all her heart, that wouldn't be fair and you would hurt her over the old girl friend.. If you wanted thed old friend you should have never married!! Take care and good luck to you!! :o

Well now to spill my heart out, please take it easy on me.. I have been married two years and I have been with this man for over four total.. We had a sex life out of this world when we frist met!
Now I have always had women problems with trying to get pregnant.. And I opened up to him in the beginning and said I might never be able to have kids.. ( See I had ovarian cancer scare) I had to have a complete hysterectomy after one year of marriage.. After that surgery , the man who I thought would always be there for me changed paths.. He doesn't have sex with me anymore. And to top this off he and I sleep in separate beds now.. I have the master room and he has down stairs bedroom.. I am beginning to get depressed.. I needed him there for me during this time.. Being told you will never have your own children biologically was heart breaking.. I remember crying for days...
I know he would hear me but he never came up to hold me and talk to me or just be my husband... After trying to reach out to him , I just begun to hurt more.. It felt like I was forcing him to want to stay with me.. Needless to say I ended up meeting someone.. He knows my situation and all I truly wanted was a friend.. We have had sex twice and I feel really bad afterwards.. I even cry.. I know what I am doing is wrong, but I feel alone... And this man talks to me, and holds me when I cry, calls me to make sure I am okay.. My husband never does that.. now before everyone starts getting mad listen...
I put my all intothis marriage I offered marriage counseling and he said he needs none!! That my problems with our marriage is all my problems and he has nothing to complain about, but I know looking to another man for a friendship is very wrong.. But sometimes we make mistakes. But in the early stages of my marriage my husband had some girls calling his phone. They would only call when I wasn't around.. But one day I went to work late and his phone rung while he was in the shower, so I answered it and it was a girl who he claimed was a friend.. But this girl had a key to our house.. Which she mailed back to him while he was out of town.. I told him to ask her not to call him any,ore and he sazid no... I know I should have walked away but I didn't.. In fact I told her don't call him anymore , and that if she did I would punch the out of her.. ( Sorry but I was furious and this was way before I did what I did), She hasn't called since.. But now he sleeps with that phone evrynight And when I ask to use it he gets nervous acting..

I know that its not justifiable for my wrong to bring up his.. But I hurt and after all that and other things I stayed with me.. And held him and curled up underneath him at night..
But now I can't do it.. I feel everything we told god we would do we haven't.. I committed adultery don't know where to begin with cleaning my innerself from that.I am lost and confused, sometimes I wonder did something happen to me as a child and that's why I yearn for sex the way I do.. I have had a total of three affairs, in 08 early 09 . My husband finds using toys are nasty and uncalled for even if they are for you to use as a couple... Can someone help me... I love this man with all my heart. But I feel we have done wrong to each other and mine being more recent, I hurt more.. but again I feel he doesn't want me anymore because I can't have kids..

[paxe]

Wew, what a situation... Well by law you are entitled to benefits from him if there is a divorce. Get yourself a lawyer and he will explain everything to you.

[Fr_Chuck]

Why is he threatening divorce,

Of course depending on the area you may get payments from him.

I would not be as concerned over what who gets as trying to find the problems and save the relationship

[spmjcb]

I love my wife , but one girl who was my colliuge before mariige, she loves me till time, she konow about my marrige, should I continue?

[artlady]

You made a commitment to your wife,you need to honor that commitment.

If you want to hurt you wife and deceive her for a woman who has little if any morality(since she knows you are taken)than all I can say is You have to live with yourself .

Remember that Karma is often quite ruthless.

[N0help4u]

Sure go for her AFTER your DIVORCE is settlled.

[bronzebabe]

You know that what you are doing is wrong. Get divorced. Your wife deserves someone that can be faithful to her.

[JudyKayTee]

In a nutshell - I don't think couples counselling will change any of this.

You need to understand your wants/needs/problems and the only way to do that is to go to counselling by yourself.

Whether the marriage is worth saving is up to you. You need to talk to someone to see if it is.

EDIT: I see you have posted some of these details before on another thread. ALL of the details should be posted in one full, truthful thread to make the situation easier to address.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post1891968

[JudyKayTee]

Two threads should be combined in order to get the total, truthful story.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...ml#post1893523

[Fr_Chuck]

I have merged the POSTS, since it is totally different when you read everything.

I am sorry the OP did not want it all told, and reported Judy for merely bringing the story out.

[N0help4u]

:confused:
The only merge I see is smjbc with brandy:confused:

[JudyKayTee]

:confused:
The only merge I see is smjbc with brandy:confused:

Good - for a second there I thought it was me!