[Keri21]

Ok right now me and her father have joint custody he gets her every other weekend. When she comes home it takes me a couple days to get her in the swing of things, because he lets her stay up and do whatever she wants, also she comes home and tells me that her dad said I was a lowlife and never will amount to anything because of the type of music I listen too, does anyone have any ideas on what I can do!

[jesee]

Yeah talk to him about the things he says about you tell him he is only making this hard on the child as to the staying up and doing what she wants there isn't a lot you can do he feels like since there time togeter is limited he wants her to be happy with him so he lets herdo what she wants

[s_cianci]

Unfortunately, probably not much. Evidently you and her dad have different ideas on how to raise a child as far as bedtimes, what kinds of music to expose them to, etc. Because you are the primary custodial caregiver, he is in a position to manipulate her and this is always a problem in broken homes. He can, out of spite, let her stay up past bedtime, let her eat whatever and whenever she wants, let her watch whatever she wants on TV, take her wherever she wants to go, buy her whatever she wants, then speak disparagingly about you and send her back to you to have to deal with it. Now, not to play devil's advocate, but regarding the music he may actually have a bit of a point. If you do listen to music that is inappropriate for a young child then you may want to consider "toning it down" a bit. Of course, whatever music you forbid in your home, he'll just let her listen to when she's with him. But at least you'll be doing everything possible to maintain a proper home for you child and not put any legitimate fuel in his fire. If he's going to speak disparagingly about you, make him have to lie in order to do it.

[s_cianci]

yeah talk to him about the things he says about you tell him he is only making this hard on the child as to the staying up and doing what she wants there isn't alot you can do he feels like since there time togeter is limited he wants her to be happy with him so he lets herdo what she wants

Frankly, I think he's more concerned with spiting Mom than with making his daughter happy.

[dbek]

Ok right now me and her father have joint custody he gets her every other weekend. When she comes home it takes me a couple days to get her in the swing of things, because he let's her stay up and do whatever she wants, also she comes home and tells me that her dad said i was a lowlife and never will amount to anything because of the type of music i listen too, does anyone have any ideas on what i can do!

I don't know if there is much you can do. My sister had the problem where her ex-husband was letting their 2 young children stay up late and would even take him over to friends house where he was drinking. While in his custody. My sister talked to her lawyer and he said nothing she could do about it, but talk to him about it. Lots of help that lawyer was. I would document everything.