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prttynpnk1105 · Jul 25, 2009, 09:19 AM

I am babysittin my little cousin and he is 6 years old but he doesn't ACT like a 6 year old. I mean his english is horrible and he acts like a 4 year old to me. Idk if he is suppose to be "smarter" but I just don't think he is suppose to act that clueless. And he watches adult swim?! I don't understand why his mother would allow him to watch that (Family Guy, Robot Chicken, Squidbillies, & King of the Hill) but he does. And he doesn't have any will to want to learn anything. I was just wondering if anybody has any advice on how to teach 6 year olds educational things because I am really worried about his education level.

Wondergirl · Jul 25, 2009, 09:29 AM

How old are YOU?

prttynpnk1105 · Jul 25, 2009, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How old are YOU?

I am 17.

Wondergirl · Jul 25, 2009, 09:55 AM

What is a 6 y/o supposed to know that he is missing? How is his English "horrible"?

justcurious55 · Jul 25, 2009, 10:02 AM

Does his mother watch adult swim too? Is she actually aware of what those shows are like? If she doesn't realize what sort of cartoons they are she may just be assuming they're regular old cartoons for little kids and you could politely point out that they're not. But if she knows what the shows are like and still allows it, it's not your place to say or do anything. You can turn the TV off while you're babysitting and find other activities (color pictures, play outside together, do puzzles, build a fort). But its her house, her rules ultimately and if she decides to allow him to watch it, so be it.

I'm with wondergirl, what is he missing? How is his english horrible? Can you elaborate?

jenniepepsi · Jul 25, 2009, 10:09 AM

I agree. Some kids are behind on the speech and behavior. Especially if they have been at home with mommy all their lives. My daughter watches adult swim, simpsons, family guy, etc. its about his parents preference, not yours.

Some kids are behind, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with his education.

prttynpnk1105 · Jul 25, 2009, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What is a 6 y/o supposed to know that he is missing? How is his English "horrible"?

He can't complete sentences, he skips words when he talks so his sentences are broken... He just doesn't match the other 6 year olds I no.

Wondergirl · Jul 25, 2009, 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by prttynpnk1105

He can't complete sentences, he skips words when he talks so his sentences are broken....He just doesn't match the other 6 year olds I no.

"I no"?? And YOU are complaining about HIM?

Then you speak in complete sentences and don't skip words. Mentor him. Read to him a lot so he hears good English. Tell made-up stories to each other and sing songs.

asking · Jul 25, 2009, 10:21 AM

He does this even when you are out of the house at a park, away from the TV?

If so, I agree that's not normal. There is lots of educational software. I'm not up on the recent stuff (my kids are big now), but off the top of my head "millie's math house," "reader rabbit." But I think a TV break might help a lot, plus you reading to him regularly. Nice that you are involved with him.

jenniepepsi · Jul 25, 2009, 10:27 AM

It may be his mother is perfectly aware of this. And his school may be aware of it. He may already be in speech class.

I have to say its not really your place to judge his development. Your job is to care for him. If you are truly concerned, speak to his mother about it. My daughter is 5 and speaks like this, and she will be starting speech class in school next month.

I'm going to say again, just because he is behind a bit, does NOT mean there is something 'wrong' with him, or his education.

ISneezeFunny · Jul 25, 2009, 10:35 AM

I know you're concerned about this child that you're babysitting, and that's admirable, it really is. However, as jenniepepsi said, this isn't your place. Your job is to babysit, it's not to teach, it's not to make him a better person... it's simply to care for the child and make sure he doesn't hurt himself while the mother is away.

Perhaps you can maybe incorporate a little bit of education into your playtime, perhaps a little bit of reading + spelling, maybe simple math, but again... approach with caution and don't try to force the child into doing something he doesn't want to do. If he doesn't feel like it, don't get frustrated and move on.

And as many other posters have claimed, many children are behind when they're growing up. Einstein couldn't speak properly until he was 9... and his parents thought he was mentally challenged! Not saying that your specific child you care for could be the next Einstein, but as stated, children develop in different ways.

asking · Jul 25, 2009, 10:40 AM

I don't think there's anything unethical about your taking it upon yourself to read stories to him.

Take some trips to the library if possible because it may take a while to find stories he likes. You don't want to inflict stories on him he doesn't even like. If you can't take him to the library for some reason, then check out a stack of books yourself and try those on him. If he doesn't like those, try again. And talk to the children's librarian if there is one -or try the person in charge of children's books at a bookstore. They often know a lot.

I agree about music and singing, too. Plus just getting out in the world. Take him to a construction site to see the big tractors at work, take him to a museum, to a beach or similar, anything that will be different from sitting at home in front of the TV. It's amazing what you can find in the vacant lot next door--beetles, spiders, birds... Spend time listening to what he says and thinks so that he has an incentive to express himself. Really listen. But it will help if he has something he wants to talk about or ask about.

jenniepepsi · Jul 25, 2009, 10:41 AM

asking, I just meant that the OP seems to think something is 'wrong' with him, and it really bothers me when people talk like the OP has... my daughter is special needs, and I have an entire support group full of children and parents I love dearly with special needs, and even if this child is behind, I just really don't feel its her place to be on here asking these questions. If it was the child's mother, that would be different... im sorry, I can't explain my feelings on this any better... I just hope the OP makes the right choice and take her concerns to the child's mother, instead of asking us for advise on how to 'educate' him.

asking · Jul 25, 2009, 10:50 AM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

I know you're concerned about this child that you're babysitting, and that's admirable, it really is. However, as jenniepepsi said, this isn't your place. Your job is to babysit, it's not to teach, it's not to make him a better person...it's simply to care for the child and make sure he doesn't hurt himself while the mother is away.

Perhaps you can maybe incorporate a little bit of education into your playtime, perhaps a little bit of reading + spelling, maybe simple math, but again...approach with caution and don't try to force the child into doing something he doesn't want to do. If he doesn't feel like it, don't get frustrated and move on.

I think anyone who is in charge of a child is contributing to who that child becomes. Teaching is inevitable. The question is not IF you are teaching, but what.

I don't agree that it is not a baby sitter's place to take some responsibility for the development --intellectual and moral -- of a child in their care. Simply protecting from physical harm (as opposed to intellectual and moral harm) is a very low level of care for a 6 year old. You either make them say please and thank you or you don't. You either let them hit other kids, or you don't. You either read to them or you don't.

Obviously, a sitter shouldn't promote things a parent objects to, but this parent sounds busy and over burdened. Sure, talk to the mother, but chances are she'll just feel criticized if you don't say it just right. And that can backfire.

To the original poster, I would just do what you can to help and if the mother objects to something, she'll tell you. My guess is that she would be delighted and grateful if the OP did half the things we've listed.

asking · Jul 25, 2009, 10:55 AM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

asking, i just meant that the OP seems to think something is 'wrong' with him, and it really bothers me when people talk like the OP has...my daughter is special needs, and i have an entire support group full of children and parents i love dearly with special needs, and even if this child is behind, i just really dont feel its her place to be on here asking these questions. if it was the childs mother, that woudl be different...im sorry, i can't explain my feelings on this any better...i just hope the OP makes the right choice and take her concerns to the childs mother, instead of asking us for advise on how to 'educate' him.

Hi jenniepepsi
Sorry for touching a sore point. I think what I'm suggesting would be good for ANY 6 year old. I agree it's not the sitter's place to try to diagnose him. And I frankly don't think it matters for her purposes whether he is special needs or "normal," whatever that is. That's totally up to the mother. But all children benefit from engagement with adults and the world around them. The poster cares and is in a position to make a big difference in his life. I don't think she should be discouraged. She sounds like a great cousin.

jenniepepsi · Jul 25, 2009, 11:05 AM

I completely agree hon. I'm trying to keep a clear and unbiased head on this, and understand that the OP is young, and probably did not intend her post to come at me the way it did. I don't know what happened to me. It just really struck a cord in me somehow. As if she was judging this boy and saying he wasn't 'good enough' I don't think that's the case, but that's how it came out.

I agree she should be helping him learn and teaching him every day. My point is I don't think she should be here complaining about his speech or any other delays he may have, she should be talking to the boys mother about this. You know?

asking · Jul 25, 2009, 12:04 PM

JP--There is so much criticism of the way mothers take care of kids. The least deviation from normal labels you as somehow deficient, which so often is untrue, unhelpful, or both. Mothers and other caregivers deserve support for what has become a difficult job the way we do it now--so often in isolation from other adults. So I do understand about being sensitive to criticism. There are so many criterion by which we "fail" kids and their mothers. I certainly would not want to contribute to that.

I do have an inkling where you are coming from. My younger son did not learn to read until the very end of second grade and I was astonished at how upset the teachers and school administrators got about this delay. Five years later he was reading adult books on his own, but they wanted him exactly on track with all the other students. I had to hire a tutor so they wouldn't fail him. If I had it to do over, I would have started him in kindergarten a year later.

For prettynpink: Sincere apologies for hijacking the thread. Card games and board games with dice are good ways to teach simple math skills without kids noticing that they are learning. Above all, be patient with your cousin, have fun with him, and listen to him.

danielnoahsmommy · Jul 25, 2009, 12:15 PM

there is really nothing you can do with the exception of reading, and library visits. It is not your place to address his problems it is his parents responsibility. Tv has nothing to do with his problems, but I do believe it is of no educational value.

It is the mothers responsibility to be that child's advocate and get him assessed either privately or through the school district.

N0help4u · Jul 25, 2009, 01:21 PM

What I would like to know and sorry if I missed it BUT what grade is he in school and what do the teachers say?

jenniepepsi · Jul 25, 2009, 01:23 PM

(gotta spread the rep asking, but yes I understand what your saying :) )

I agree with nohelp as well I didn't see anything about if the boy was in school or not or if his teachers have worried about this issue.