[lonelyrose]

Hi,
I am rose. I have been into a relation for the past one and half years. But many a times I feel that we are not meant for each other. I feel our expectations from each other are quite different. I am very expressive. Even if we fight I want it to get solved very fast. But he is the opposite. He will take time to get out of his anger. During that time, if I try to talk to him he will shout. After sometime he will start missing me and then everything will become fine. When he is with me he is very much loving and caring. But when he is not with me like if he goes to some other place, he gets busy in his own things. I feel that time he forgets me. I would be lonely without him and try to call or talk. He would be really busy and as he could not manage both the things at the same time he starts shouting at me. I feel bad and start fighting. For me, he is my priority. But for him I feel I am not. I always feel that he does not love me the same way I want. But I know that he loves me. We have planned to marry. But I am really scared thinking what would happen in the future. I do not know whether we could live our life happily. I know that I love him like anything and I express that and I do want that he also should love me and express it. Please help me out.

Rose

[danielnoahsmommy]

Stop making this person your 1st priority. Your fist priority should be yourself. He sounds well rounded and you are not that is why you fight, because you have nothing else. Go out with some friends, get a hobby. If you don't relax you will lose him and everybody else you date.

[lonelyrose]

Yes I know.. I am so much dependent on him.. and that's why we fight so much.. but the problem is that I do not have many friends in this place where I live. And moreover I am a person who has 100% percent commitment while being in a relation.

[danielnoahsmommy]

Join a club, take a class, go to a gym. What you are doing is not healthy for you or this relationship.

[lonelyrose]

Hmm that's there.. I can get engaged in some activities.. but is that a solution? Our tastes are different.. I love to enjoy outside on a weekend.. he loves to be at home.. these all make me think we would have problems in future

[talaniman]

I can get engaged in some activities.. but is that a solution?

Do you work? What else do you do besides miss him? You do need a life besides him, as you can be committed to the relationship, and active on your own.

If you depend on his presence for your happiness, then you will not be happy nor fulfilled. You really do seem to have issues (fear of him leaving, insecurity, needy, clingy) that need to be addressed by you, as there seems to be no real communications
So you can resolve your issues together, and really need to back up, and give him space to process his own thoughts, and feelings, as well as yours.

Your really pushing to hard for what you want, and not giving him what he needs, Relationships are a partnership, where both have to be willing to have honest communications, and be reasonable with expectations. You expect a lot from him, and that may not be fair, or realistic.

I love to enjoy outside on a weekend.. he loves to be at home..

Sometimes you take a hike, sometimes you stay at home. Why can't you enjoy both??

[liz28]

You are giving 100% while he gives what? Marriage shouldn't even be thought of at this point because your relationship isn't stable. Instead of focusing on the future you need to focus on the present and the both of you need to work on a solution for your problems.

He is probably gets mad because you put too much pressure on him and is leaning on him too much. Everybody needs space and time for themselve.

You don't have be with him 24/7. Get out and do things by yourself. If nothing don't get solve between the two of you this relationship won't last and will drown. So what changes are the two of you going make?

[lonelyrose]

Yes whatever you people have written is absolutely true. Thanks for the answers. I am very clear now, as in I know where lies the problem