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    Couchcarrot's Avatar
    Couchcarrot Posts: 590, Reputation: 41
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    #1

    Jul 22, 2009, 10:43 PM
    I am woman, hear me roar.
    A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made
    a mess." "And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher.

    Next little Lucy raised a hand and said, "Our family are farmers, too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks and the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched." "That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

    "Yes, ma'am! My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Marge. She was a flight engineer during Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a Machete. So .. she drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break. Then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed 70 of them with the machine gun until it ran out of bullets! Then she killed 20 more with the machete till the blade broke; then she killed the last 10 with her bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that awful story?"

    "Stay away from Aunt Marge when she's been drinking."
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #2

    Jul 22, 2009, 11:10 PM

    LOL... Good one :)
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #3

    Jul 22, 2009, 11:12 PM

    Hahahaha. Thank you. I needed a good laugh tonight.
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 23, 2009, 01:55 AM
    I love it being Aunt Marge instead of uncle somebody, too.
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #5

    Jul 23, 2009, 11:22 AM

    Hahahha nice one, I love little johnny jokes! :D
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #6

    Jul 23, 2009, 11:24 AM

    LOL!! I like that
    HelpinHere's Avatar
    HelpinHere Posts: 1,062, Reputation: 144
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    #7

    Jul 25, 2009, 12:21 AM

    Just read this one a few days ago, but still good!
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
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    #8

    Jul 26, 2009, 07:25 PM

    Aunt Marge is one tough cookie for sure.
    Torrid13's Avatar
    Torrid13 Posts: 637, Reputation: 149
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    #9

    Jul 26, 2009, 07:33 PM

    For some reason, I imagined Aunt Marge with a moustache and a pink nighty, killing all the enemies with rollers in her hair.
    albear's Avatar
    albear Posts: 1,594, Reputation: 222
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    #10

    Jul 26, 2009, 07:41 PM

    Lol, like it :D
    HelpinHere's Avatar
    HelpinHere Posts: 1,062, Reputation: 144
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    #11

    Jul 26, 2009, 08:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Torrid13 View Post
    For some reason, I imagined Aunt Marge with a moustache and a pink nighty, killing all the enemies with rollers in her hair.
    Agreed, and don't forget the cigar, blowing smoke-rings!
    Torrid13's Avatar
    Torrid13 Posts: 637, Reputation: 149
    Senior Member
     
    #12

    Jul 26, 2009, 08:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by HelpinHere View Post
    Agreed, and don't forget the cigar, blowing smoke-rings!
    And the tattoos! :D
    adam_89's Avatar
    adam_89 Posts: 1,866, Reputation: 280
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    #13

    Jul 27, 2009, 08:25 AM

    Loved it.

    Someone needs to open a thread for little johhny jokes. They are always a good laugh.

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