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tene08 · Jul 20, 2009, 11:10 PM

I would like to get some suggestions on how a teenage girl should tell her parents that she is pregnant

mudweiser · Jul 20, 2009, 11:16 PM

Hi.

Well for one it's not easy.

The best way to do it is when you are all sitting down. Is the father of your baby present? If so, I would suggest that he do this too with you.

Telling them isn't even half the battle. Good luck to you. Expect looks of disappointment, maybe even anger or yelling--- when this happens, please do not yell back, if anything stay quiet and zip your lip. Keep in mind your parents still see you as their baby--- you will soon learn this.

Keep us posted!

Sarah

prttynpnk1105 · Jul 22, 2009, 10:12 AM

If I had to tell my parents (honestly) I would tell the closet one to me first (like my mother) so I could have her support on telling everyone else that needs to know.

genesisz · Jul 22, 2009, 02:20 PM

Just sit the both of your parents down an have the father of the baby with you and tell them straight out that it was an accident. They might scream or yell an say stuff but just listen to them don't scream back or anything. Sit at the other side of the table because you dad might get mad an want to hit da father of the baby

Fr_Chuck · Jul 22, 2009, 07:00 PM

You will have to just tell them, waiting will serve no purpose and you need to start doctor care.

sweet1028 · Jul 23, 2009, 05:04 AM

Just tell them sooner rather than later because you really have to start going to the doctor. Yes they will be mad, mainly because their baby is having a baby. Don't argue with them just let things go as they come.
I was a teen and living at home when I got pregnant. But I had already told my mom that I had missed my period. The next month came and still no period. Which we already knew we were pregnant but I was just preparing my mom for it. She even jokingly said that I was pregnant when I first told her that I had missed it.

Then one day I went and got another test knowing it would read positive and my and my boyfriend went to my house and I said Mom I got something to show you but you can't get mad, and she said what is it. And I showed her and she said well I won't jump onto you because it is already done and jumping onto you won't undo it so I guess we will have to figure it out from here.

Just get some plans together for jobs and finding a place to stay and things will work out fine it sure did for me anyway.

How old are you? Good Luck!

shelbybelle13 · Jul 24, 2009, 01:34 PM

Well my brother's 16 year old girlfriend just found out she was having a baby and she just came straight out with it.. and her parents weren't mad because she told the truth.. most teenagers want to lie about because she wanted 2 at first.. but I didn't allow that.. anyways just tell them no parents should have a reason to get mad it's their own fault for allowing it

JudyKayTee · Jul 24, 2009, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by shelbybelle13

well my brother's 16 year old girlfriend just found out she was having a baby and she just came straight out with it..and her parents weren't mad b/c she told the truth..most teenagers wanna lie about b/c she wanted 2 at first..but i didn't allow that..anyways just tell them no parents should have a reason to get mad it's their own fault for allowing it

YOU didn't allow that? Need more info -

Wondergirl · Jul 24, 2009, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by shelbybelle13

it's their own fault for allowing it

How do parents "allow" it? Maybe we parents should stop 13 y/os from posting on adult boards and also go along with our teens on dates.

Chey5782 · Jul 24, 2009, 01:46 PM

I was a teen when I got pregnant with my first child. That was a rough day for my family. Compounded by the fact that not two weeks before I had told my mother on April fools day I WAS pregnant jokingly. Then found out later I actually was. She wasn't really thrilled.

Your parents love you, that's the number one thing to keep in mind. Even if they express disappointment or get angry, they are still your parents. They love you, and they want you to be okay. I told my mom before I told my dad, and we told him together. He was very upset but surprisingly he listened to what I had to say. It's sad that any teenager has to go through this, essentially you are still supposed to be a child and learning and growing and experiencing life to it's fullest. Just keep in mind that you do NOT have to do it alone, and start from there.

jenniepepsi · Jul 24, 2009, 02:06 PM

jenniepepsi agrees: what a wonderful idea

Sorry for the pun wondergirl

redhed35 · Jul 24, 2009, 02:13 PM

My 16 year old daughter had a pregnancy scare last year..
She was terrified.
And I saw that.
She just blurted it out.. granted not the best way to go about it,but do you want to know what I said..
I said.. its OK,I love you,we will figure this out...
Now,I will say,I heart was in my mouth,I was terrified for her,as things turned out,the test was negative...
I had always given the speech about not getting pregnant,but when it was on my doorstep,my reaction was totally different.
You know your parents best.. as another poster said they may shout and cry,but stay steady...
I'm sure they love you,and you will need their support.
Let them know your scared,let them know you need them.
Let them help you.

ANB428 · Jul 24, 2009, 02:19 PM

If I were you, I would do it soon. You need to go to the doctor and start getting prenatal care.

As for telling your parents, it will not be easy. When I told my mom at 18 that I was pregnant, I did it over the phone because I lived in a different state. Not the best idea, but the only way I could and I had to tell her before the father's mother did. Anyway, my mom's reaction was just as I had suspected it to be, she told me that if I didn't have an abortion that she would never talk to me again and our whole family would disown me and then hung up on me.

I was an adult at the time and not even living in the same state as her and that is how she handled it. Needless to say, I showed up at her house when I was 5 months pregnant and she started to come around a little bit. She wanted me to give her up for adoption though and tried to convince me to do that.

Now, four years later, my mother absolutely loves my daughter and regrets acting the way she did towards me when I told her, throughout my preganacy, and even afterwards. It took her about a year, but she didn't see me everyday and she was very strict and had her own view on things. My father died before I was born so all I had was my mom.

I am not saying that your mom and dad are going to act the same way, I am just saying that if you get a bad reaction from them, don't worry about what they say and think, you do what you want to do and sooner or later they will come around.

As for how you are going to tell them, I would do it solo (no baby daddy) and talk to the parent that is closer to you, so they can help you break it to the other parent. It will be hard, but you need to do it sooner than later. Good luck, I know that this is scary and you don't know what to do, but you need to make sure you care for your child by getting to a doctor soon. Please let us know what happens.

jenniepepsi · Jul 24, 2009, 02:36 PM

I agree with ANB, I was also an 18 year old adult. However I was living with my mom at the time. And I was terrified what she might think of me. But she was supportive. Disapointed... yes, because I was not in a good relationship (it was abusive) and I was not married, nor did I have a job.

But she was supportive, and helped me through it. Now I have my beautifull 5 year old and it was all worth it.

ANB428 · Jul 24, 2009, 02:41 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

i agree with ANB, i was also an 18 year old adult. however i was living with my mom at the time. and i was terrified what she might think of me. but she was supportive. disapointed...yes, because i was not in a good relationship (it was abusive) and i was not married, nor did i have a job.

but she was supportive, and helped me thru it. now i have my beautifull 5 year old and it was all worth it.

That is awesome that she was there to help you through it. :) My mom wasn't and I was in an abusive relationship as well, but I was still with my abuser. When I left my abuser two months after my daughter was born, my mom still wasn't there for me. I had to do it all by myself, which really sucked. When I finally left CA and came to AL, got two jobs and started school, she finally started helping me. It really sucked, but it made me grow up, quickly at that. LOL. :)

Chey5782 · Jul 24, 2009, 02:42 PM

Great, you guys are going to make me cry. I hope the OP sees that she's not alone in this situation, if she IS in that situation.

Sidenote. Have you guys seen that show on MTV, 16 and pregnant? What the?!

jenniepepsi · Jul 24, 2009, 02:45 PM

Ahh now see, we have almost exactly the same story cept my abuser left me, ironically when our daughter was 2 months old as well. (what is it about 2 months after a baby that men decide That's the time to leave?) I didn't think I needed to leave him (young and stupid) and I thought I would die lol.

I got over it now. If I were to see him again today, id probably cuss him out and ask for all the child support he owes me. ;)

h_leann_b · Jul 24, 2009, 02:58 PM

One of my guy friends in high school got his girlfriend pregnant when she was 16 and he was 17. He was in a pretty religious household. So he was terrified to tell her. So he decided to write a letter. About how he had gotten her pregnant and what they planned to do. At the end of the letter it said, I will be in my room when you want to talk about it.

I think this was the best thing for him. Because it gives a minute for the parents to actual absorb the information.

It will be hard; but whatever happens hopefully you will have the support you need.

As far as the 16 and pregnant show. Yes, I have been watching it. Its sad. The BEST episode is the couple that gave their baby up for adoption. They had so much strength; and I am so glad they turned a bad situation into a good one and gave their daughter the greatest gift. If you have time to watch it, here is a link for the full episode::
http://www.mtv.com/videos/16-and-pre...playlist.jhtml

ANB428 · Jul 24, 2009, 03:01 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

ahh now see, we have almost exactly the same story cept my abuser left me, ironically when our daughter was 2 months old as well. (what is it about 2 months after a baby that men decide THATS the time to leave?) i didnt think i needed to leave him (young and stupid) and i thought i would die lol.

i got over it now. if i were to see him again today, id probably cuss him out and ask for all the child support he owes me. ;)

Right? I totally agree with you on the whole child support thing. You don't even want to get me started on that subject. :) I had to leave mine because he held a knife up to my throat when we got into a fight and I was holding our daughter. He has never seen her since and never paid me a dime! Which is okay, because he can't be a part of her life, although it isn't fair that he gets off the hook. Anyway, I can't even change my daughter's last name with out hiring a lawyer and paying all these ridiculous fees (which I don't have the money for) and he has never done anything for her. It is so not fair at all! At least I am not the only one that isn't getting child support. :) No offense.

jenniepepsi · Jul 24, 2009, 03:05 PM

Oh I'm so glad you got out of that! I totally understand about never seeing her again nor paying anything. Same here. Its not that I want his money. I want him to take responsibility for BOTH of our irrisponsibility (having sex before we were ready)