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Cillaof2 · Jul 18, 2009, 09:03 AM

My daughter is 3 years old, her biological father refused to sign her birth certificate, has not provided any financial support or had any contact with her outside of the nights I allowed him to stay with me. (Even then his interest was not with my daughter) He does not recognize her as his daughter, and has not had any contact with her or myself for more than a year. My question, I have been married for a year and my husband is her Daddy, what do I need to do to make that official? Can my husband just sign her birth certificate? Do I have to have her biological fathers rights terminated even though her birth certificate does not list a biological father? This all seems so complicated and I would prefer the simplest solution (dont we all?)

N0help4u · Jul 18, 2009, 10:00 AM

If he isn't listed on anything then there is nothing to terminate.
If you want him to pay support you need to go file for support and they will give him a DNA test and tell you how to go about adding him to the birth certificate.
Realize that getting him added to the birth certificate and getting support isn't going to make him any more of a father than he already is other than the birth certificate and the money.

Cillaof2 · Jul 18, 2009, 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

If he isn't listed on anything then there is nothing to terminate.
If you want him to pay support you need to go file for support and they will give him a DNA test and tell you how to go about adding him to the birth certificate.
Realize that getting him added to the birth certificate and getting support isn't going to make him any more of a father than he already is other than the birth certificate and the money.

I have no desire to see her biological father again or have him pretend to be a father to her. My husband is the best Daddy a little girl could ask for and I would like to keep it that way. As far as support, we have been just fine these past 3 years and will continue to be without any help from him. What do I need to do to make my husband a legal guardian? Can I have my husband listed as her father on her birth certificate? And if so can that be done without the involvement of her biological father?

N0help4u · Jul 18, 2009, 10:28 AM

Okay I wasn't sure what all you wanted to do other than your husband adopt, but that is all you do want. I know you have to go through family court but I am not sure what needs done since there is no name on the certificate right now.
You do have to go through family court and I am sure some one here will answer you what all is involved.

stevetcg · Jul 20, 2009, 09:08 AM

In order for your husband to adopt, paternity will have to be legally established through court order (DNA test) and then the biological father will have to relinquish his rights.

Your husband cannot just sign the birth certificate. Falsifying a government document is a felony (perjury).

You absolutely cannot do anything without the consent of the biological father. There really is no "easy" way to do this. Hire a lawyer and pursue a step parent adoption.

Holly23 · Jul 20, 2009, 09:22 AM

I know you didn't ask but its not your birth certificate its your daughers and she might not want that when she's older.I know Id go mad if I found out that the person on my birth certificate wasn't my real father

stevetcg · Jul 20, 2009, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by Holly23

I know you didnt ask but its not your birth certificate its your daughers and she might not want that when shes older.I know Id go mad if I found out that the person on my birth certificate wasnt my real father

Not entirely true. If her husband goes through the legal process of adopting her, then the birth certificate can be modified to reflect that.

Cillaof2 · Jul 20, 2009, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by Holly23

I know you didnt ask but its not your birth certificate its your daughers and she might not want that when shes older.I know Id go mad if I found out that the person on my birth certificate wasnt my real father

We have no plan of telling her about her biological father. I learned as a child that my "Dad" was not my biological father and spent the rest of my years trying to establish a relationship with him. He wanted nothing to do with me, nor does my daughters bio. Father want anything to do with her and that's okay with us. It may not be the most ethical thing to do, but I believe that unless medical circumstances prove otherwise, she will be better off believing that my husband is her father. I think it will be more damaging for her to have "father unknown" listed on her birth certificate than it would be to see the name of the man who loved her and raised her. I do appreciate your input though.

Cillaof2 · Jul 20, 2009, 10:10 AM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

In order for your husband to adopt, paternity will have to be legally established through court order (DNA test) and then the biological father will have to relinquish his rights.

Your husband cannot just sign the birth certificate. Falsifying a government document is a felony (perjury).

You absolutely cannot do anything without the consent of the biological father. There really is no "easy" way to do this. Hire a lawyer and pursue a step parent adoption.

And if the biological father cannot be found or is unwilling to cooperate? Would I have to file for abandonment? I am very interested in doing this legally so there are no problems later in life, however we don't really have the money lying around for a lawyer.
*ROCK----ME----HARD PLACE*

stevetcg · Jul 20, 2009, 10:14 AM

If he cannot be found then there is a process (very expensive) that the court requires in order to attempt to find him. If he is unwilling to cooperate, you cannot do much. He will cooperate with paternity testing or be thrown in jail. He is under no obligation to sign over his rights. If he chooses not to, about the only thing you can do is have child support ordered and hope that he is willing to sign over his rights to get the child support removed.

Cillaof2 · Jul 20, 2009, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

If he cannot be found then there is a process (very expensive) that the court requires in order to attempt to find him. If he is unwilling to cooperate, you cannot do much. He will cooperate with paternity testing or be thrown in jail. He is under no obligation to sign over his rights. If he chooses not to, about the only thing you can do is have child support ordered and hope that he is willing to sign over his rights to get the child support removed.

Is him signing over his rights the only way to have them terminated?

stevetcg · Jul 20, 2009, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by Cillaof2

Is him signing over his rights the only way to have them terminated?

Voluntary termination is the most common way, yes. If he cannot be found, a court can issue an involuntary termination. You could also try to have him found unfit to have his rights terminated, but that is very unlikely unless he is a felon and found to be a danger to the child. Even THEN its not easy.

ANB428 · Jul 20, 2009, 10:49 AM

I know of a process that you can do if the father is absent in the child's life for so long where you place an ad in the newspaper of the city that the father resides in and if he doesn't reply after a period then his rights can be revoked to clear the way for an adoption. I am not sure of the exact process and if that is all you have to do but I am pretty sure that you will need a lawyer to do this and you have to be married for at least a year. That is my understanding anyway.

I don't know if that is exactly how it works, but that is what I have been told. So, I would suggest that you get a lawyer.

I think that it is crappy that mothers and fathers who are deadbeats have so many choices on what they want to do with their rights and on things pertaining to the child when the other parent has been raising the child for so long with no support from the deadbeat parent throughout the child's life.

I have been trying to change my daughter's last name for four years and I can't do it unless her father signs off on it and he has never paid me child support or been a part of my daughter's life since she was born. He is finally going to do it, but now I find out that I need to get a lawyer to handle the whole thing. It is just crappy because I have to pay for a lawyer to do this, when I barely have the money to support my daughter because I have never had any help from the father and I work two jobs and go to school full-time and have been for 3 years to make ends meet. It just isn't fair. I understand the laws a little bit, but it still is annoying.

Cillaof2 · Jul 20, 2009, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by ANB428

I know of a process that you can do if the father is absent in the child's life for so long where you place an ad in the newspaper of the city that the father resides in and if he doesn't reply after a period of time then his rights can be revoked to clear the way for an adoption. I am not sure of the exact process and if that is all you have to do but I am pretty sure that you will need a lawyer to do this and you have to be married for at least a year. That is my understanding anyways.

I don't know if that is exactly how it works, but that is what I have been told. So, I would suggest that you get a lawyer.

I think that it is crappy that mothers and fathers who are deadbeats have so many choices on what they want to do with their rights and on things pertaining to the child when the other parent has been raising the child for so long with no support from the deadbeat parent throughout the child's life.

I have been trying to change my daughter's last name for four years and I can't do it unless her father signs off on it and he has never paid me child support or been a part of my daughter's life since she was born. He is finally going to do it, but now I find out that I need to get a lawyer to handle the whole thing. It is just crappy because I have to pay for a lawyer to do this, when I barely have the money to support my daughter because I have never had any help from the father and I work two jobs and go to school full-time and have been for 3 years to make ends meet. It just isn't fair. I understand the laws a little bit, but it still is annoying.

We are also having our daughters name changed. Fortunately for us in the state of Nebraska it is fairly simple to do, but it can be expensive, mostly the cost of running an ad in the local newspaper.

stevetcg · Jul 20, 2009, 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by Cillaof2

We are also having our daughters name changed. Fortunately for us in the state of Nebraska it is fairly simple to do, but it can be expensive, mostly the cost of running an ad in the local newspaper.

It's the same process to notify the father of the pending adoption, however quite a bit more complicated and must be approved by the court.

You really need a lawyer for this... adoption is not a DIY process, by any stretch of the imagination.

First step though is to establish paternity.