[Symbelmine]

Hey.. You might remember me from my last post.. It was about my ex sending all kinds of sings he misses me(Posting our picture as his Myspace default, as his msn messenger display, sending me romantic songs that say "i miss you", asking me for pictures of the 2 of us.. etc) and me being confused about getting back together or not..
For those of you who didn't read my last post, we were in a long distance relationship for a year.. We saw each other several times cause he came see me twice and I went see him once.. However I broke up with him 1 month ago..

The thing is the following...
My ex-mother-in-law, who lovessss me and with who I get along really good, talked to me yesterday... And here is the conversation.. Its short so you read it, judge me and help me figure out what the hell it means cause all of this has me so confused I can't think clearly..

(20:07) Jean: hi Stella
(20:07) •Stella: Hiii

(20:07) •Stella: how's it going
(20:08) Jean: good and you
(20:08) Jean: are you feeling better now?
(20:08) •Stella: super.. Im finally over my cold.. it lasted 2 weeks.. and for the last week I've been super fine
(20:08) Jean: great
(20:09) •Stella: yes I know.. I was about to throw a party because of that
(20:09) Jean: Tom had a cold too he feels tired a lot
(20:09) Jean: how is life
(20:10) Jean: how is your new home coming
(20:10) •Stella: my new homecoming what do you mean
(20:11) Jean: how is your new house is it built yet
(20:11) •Stella: ohh noo... not yet.. it's that my mom has been taking her time deciding what's the best to do.. so its all just starting... By next year Ill be in the new house though... Around may or something
(20:12) Jean: sounds good
(20:13) •Stella: and well everythings been good.. Im taking some more clases... cause I was taking only 2.. For different reasons but I had too much free time.. and Ive been meeting new people all the time in the university.. its like there's always someone new..
(20:14) Jean: are you still thinking about coming
(20:16) Jean: are you coming when there is snow
(20:16) •Stella: mm No.. I don't think Im going to go anymore..
(20:16) Jean: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(20:17) •Stella: I know..
(20:17) Jean: I never ask Tom what is up
(20:17) Jean: he is very distant lately
(20:18) Jean: so I know he is not happy so I do not push the questions
(20:18) Jean: I wait patiently
(20:18) Jean: hard for me haha
(20:19) •Stella: Yes... that's what you have to do.. but it wouldn't be bad if you talk to him though.. sometimes when I feel sad I like to feel that my mom knows I'm not OK and asks me what is up even if I'm going to say "nothing" anyway

(20:19) •Stella: its weird.. its kind of to know that she's there
(20:20) Jean: I just know you are a special person who maybe in another time when he was more mature would be the best thing in his life
(20:20) Jean: remember no matter what happens you must stay in contact
(20:21) Jean: I speak to him but I have never asked what happened
(20:21) •Stella: yess that's for sureee.. I always stay in contact with my friends
(20:21) Jean: I know his brother has asked but Tom hides his feelings
(20:22) Jean: and if that is what makes things easier for him I respect him
(20:22) Jean: I know you guys had or have a special thing no matter what happens nobdy can take that away
(20:22) Jean: I know I saw it in my sons eyes
(20:23) Jean: I respect you for being you it is not easy to be young and so far away from each other
(20:25) Jean: you are always welcome here I just want you to know that
(20:26) •Stella: Thank youu Its just so nice cause I spent just a week there but I felt very comfortable You're all very nice and my mom says any of you are welcome here too.. when we have our house any of you can come and spend some days for vacation or something... jaja tour guide included
(20:27) Jean: thanks you are so sweet thank your mom I hope we get to chat again soon remember we miss you
(20:28) Jean: if I CAN do anything to make things better just say the word I will do my best OK

(20:28) •Stella:okkkk Thank youuu and don't worry... and do what I said.. even if he says " nothing" hell feel better whatever it is that's wrong
(20:29) Jean: OK I will have a little chat with him
(20:29) Jean: if you did know if something bad was wrong you would share it with me right
(20:29) Jean: because my kids are my life
(20:30) •Stella: yes. I will.. don't worry.. And I know you care so much about your family
(20:30) Jean: but sometimes in life they just need to figure things out themselves
(20:30) Jean: Tom is new to all this
(20:30) Jean: hockey is about all his life has been
(20:31) Jean: maybe needs a little polishing when it comes to woman haha
(20:31) Jean: you are a great girl so remember you 2 are young
(20:32) Jean: if it is meant to be it will sooner or later right
(20:32) •Stella: jajaja.. Yes my grandma always says things like that... she believes in that kind of things
(20:33) Jean: me too
(20:33) Jean: have a great week and take care of yourself
(20:33) Jean: nice chatting with you
(20:34) •Stella: Ok thank youuu You tooo... be careful with the cold already... jaja don't want to have a cold like mine... Nice talking to youu.. and say hiii from mee

(20:34) Jean: bye bye to you too we will chat soon


And that's it... It really hit me though.. It made me feel kind of sad to know for sure he really cares and loves me and to know he isn't OK.. :( It makes me feel kind of bad for ending everything and for not being able to do anything to make things better, cause we're still far away from each other...
But Im afraid.. Do you think this is a trap or something? Is she trying to make me feel bad? WHAT IS UP?
HELP ME FIGURE OUT THIS ONE!:confused:

[s_cianci]

I'm not sure whether there's really anything to "figure out" here or not. It just sounds like some small talk between the two of you. I don't think there's really anything to be read into this. She does seem to imply that you had good cause to break up with him and seems to question his maturity level. Most mothers wouldn't be so kind to a woman who dumped their son. I wouldn't wrack my brains trying to figure anything else here. Just go on with your life ; that's really all you can do anyhow.

[Skell]

I personally wouldn't take in anything the mother says. It may be genuine but it doesn't chamnge a thing and deep down her son will be her No. 1 priority.

I only say this from expereince with my ex. My ex's mum tried to be say she would do anything for me and always be there. Well guess what, she's not and never really was. Which is fine. Her priority was her daughter. Not my feelings.

Just forget that happened and keep moving on with your life. As you said you can't change it, so why continue to let it completely occupy your mind?

Try and only worry about the things you can control, and right now that is you and your decisions. That's your concern! Not him or his mums.

[Symbelmine]

Yes.. But its easier said than done.. Deep inside I know the best for both of us is to move on.. I just don't know how to... And I kind of don't want to... And bye the looks of the situation he doesn't want to either... Its just too many signs that he's missing me as bad as Im missing him... And that makes it so hard to move on... I don't want to be annoying.. I keep posting about the subject even though I already know what to do... :(

I was thinking... It's a crazy thought but I like it... Maybe when Im 21.. Ill contact him again.. Of course if Im single.. And if he's single too, then Ill go see him again... And see what's going on.. Maybe then, if we still feel something for each other.. If the love returns.. We can find a way of being together and give it a real shot... A real opportunity this love deserves...
Mean while Ill live my life and try to move on... But on my 21st birthday Ill remember this thought... Ill see where my life's at.. and maybe, just maybe Ill see him again...

Its stupid I know.. But I can't give up all hope.. not without at least trying it once. Some day.

[talaniman]

You have enough to worry about just with your own life so of course his family cares for him and he misses you but you broke up for a reason and unless the world has changed it was for the best. Live your own life.. don't let anyone make you second guess your life or the decisions you make.