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jenniferraine · Oct 16, 2006, 02:29 AM

On may 23 of this year my daughter, then was eight months old, was taken from me because someone called DCF on my husband and me. My daughter had a bruise on the butt and they took her. They tried to blame it on my husband, he was arrested and then the charges of child abuse were dropped. Now we are going through a case plan that involves me taking domestic volience eval, parenting classes, substance abuse eval, and we both have supervised visitation. He has the same except anger management. I'm in the navy and I'm in Florida both my husband's family and my family both live in Mississippi so she has to remain in a foster home. I have been doing this case plan for almost 5 months I've done the domestic violence eval, and have been doing parenting classes for 7 weeks I have the substance abuse eval tomarrow.

The thing is they keep telling me to leave my husband and I will get her back. So if his charges were dropped due to lack of evidence then why should he leave. He has nowhere to go unless he goes back to Mississippi. Then he wouldn't be able to do his case plan.

We are doing everything they ask us to do and they said if we did that then we would get her back. They said we would get unsupervised visits once we did a little of our case plan and that hasn't happened.

Need advise do I leave or stick it out with him I know he didn't hurt her, they are asking me to leave my husband, I know my daughter is more important but he loves her and it would crush him.

NeedKarma · Oct 16, 2006, 04:24 AM

They don't take children away for just a bruise on the buttock, there must be more to this that you are not telling.

jenniferraine · Oct 16, 2006, 04:47 AM

I know she had a bruise on her butt and they said it looked like a hand and in Florida there isn't a law against corporal punishment as long as there aren't any bruises. We don't do drugs we hardly even drink. He doesn't beat me or my daughter.

J_9 · Oct 16, 2006, 04:53 AM

How did the bruise get on an 8 month old child?

There are parts of the story you are leaving out.

Who called DHS? What was their reason?

We need all the details, or you will probably get advice you really don't want to hear.

jenniferraine · Oct 16, 2006, 05:14 AM

I'm not sure who called, I live in an apartment complex and we have a few neighbors we don't get along with but they wouldn't say who called, if I had to guess I would say it was an ex-friend of mine. We had a fight (not physically) and we haven't talked since then which was about a week before she was taken.

I'm not sure how the bruise got there I don't know if the babysitter did it or not. We told them to ask her and they acted like it wasn't a possibility. She had been sick with the stomash viras and had gotten a real bad yeast rash, which I had taken her to the doctor for the week before, she had bleed on her bottom because of it the doctor said it was because of the rash.

s_cianci · Oct 16, 2006, 05:39 PM

Well, if your husband didn't hurt her then definitely don't leave him. How did she get the bruise in question? It sounds like you need a good lawyer who can go to bat for you and take on DCF.

s_cianci · Oct 16, 2006, 05:41 PM

Originally Posted by jenniferraine

im not sure who called, i live in an apartment complex and we have a few neighbors we dont get along with but they wouldnt say who called, if i had to guess i would say it was an ex-friend of mine. we had a fight (not physically) and we havent talked since then which was about a week before she was taken.

im not sure how the bruise got there i dont know if the babysitter did it or not. we told them to ask her and they acted like it wasnt a possibility. she had been sick with the stomash viras and had gotten a real bad yeast rash, which i had taken her to the doctor for the week before, she had bleed on her bottom because of it the doctor said it was because of the rash.

Get your doctor to put this in writing for you.

J_9 · Oct 16, 2006, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by jenniferraine

in florida there isnt a law against corporal punishment as long as there arent any bruises.

This statement just confuses me. I keep coming back to it again and again.

I am not accusing the OP of corporal punishment, but if there was not spaking going on then why make this statement? This is an 8 month old child in question.

This statement is just too odd to ignore.

Sentra · Oct 25, 2006, 07:36 AM

It takes a good amount of force to put a bruise on ANYONE. You and your husband should be aware of your child's needs, they come first and foremost before your own.

Keep cooperating with the court's system; if anyone called the authorities on you they have the option to be anonymous, so its possible that you may never find out who notified them, and remember that if you didn't do anything wrong, you should have nothing to worry about, right? Good luck to you.

Jen8446 · Nov 1, 2006, 06:37 PM

Originally Posted by jenniferraine

on may 23 of this year my daughter, then was eight months old, was taken from me because someone called DCF on my husband and me. my daughter had a bruise on the butt and they took her. they tried to blame it on my husband, he was arrested and then the charges of child abuse were dropped. now we are going through a case plan that involves me taking domestic volience eval, parenting classes, substance abuse eval, and we both have supervised visitation. he has the same except anger management. i'm in the navy and i'm in florida both my husband's family and my family both live in mississippi so she has to remain in a foster home. i have been doing this case plan for almost 5 months i've done the domestic violence eval, and have been doing parenting classes for 7 weeks i have the substance abuse eval tomarrow.

the thing is they keep telling me to leave my husband and i will get her back. so if his charges were dropped due to lack of evidence then why should he leave. he has nowhere to go unless he goes back to mississippi. then he wouldn't be able to do his case plan.

we are doing everything they ask us to do and they said if we did that then we would get her back. they said we would get unsupervised visits once we did a little of our case plan and that hasn't happened.

need advise do i leave or stick it out with him i know he didn't hurt her, they are asking me to leave my husband, i know my daughter is more important but he loves her and it would crush him.

It doesn't seem like you're telling us the whole story. Even DCF wouldn't take a child away and make you go through all this for a bruise on her butt. My son used to fall a lot when he was learning to walk and he got plenty of bruises, and no one, not even his pediatrician ever questioned it. They know, baby's get bruises. There has to be more to the story. There has to be something going on for someone to call DCF, and for them to actually take her away.

dbek · Nov 17, 2006, 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by jenniferraine

on may 23 of this year my daughter, then was eight months old, was taken from me because someone called DCF on my husband and me. my daughter had a bruise on the butt and they took her. they tried to blame it on my husband, he was arrested and then the charges of child abuse were dropped. now we are going through a case plan that involves me taking domestic volience eval, parenting classes, substance abuse eval, and we both have supervised visitation. he has the same except anger management. i'm in the navy and i'm in florida both my husband's family and my family both live in mississippi so she has to remain in a foster home. i have been doing this case plan for almost 5 months i've done the domestic violence eval, and have been doing parenting classes for 7 weeks i have the substance abuse eval tomarrow.

the thing is they keep telling me to leave my husband and i will get her back. so if his charges were dropped due to lack of evidence then why should he leave. he has nowhere to go unless he goes back to mississippi. then he wouldn't be able to do his case plan.

we are doing everything they ask us to do and they said if we did that then we would get her back. they said we would get unsupervised visits once we did a little of our case plan and that hasn't happened.

need advise do i leave or stick it out with him i know he didn't hurt her, they are asking me to leave my husband, i know my daughter is more important but he loves her and it would crush him.

You can have CPS findings (such as confirmed or unconfirms) on child abuse and it doesn't matter if the charges were dropped or wasn't enough evidence to do criminal charges. Did the CPS confirm the child abuse? If so, and you don't agree with the findings you can file an appeal. Here in Iowa-it was over the phone conference call. They will then send out their final decision. If you can't do anything else-maybe you should live separately just long enough to get this settle. It might be hard on you guys but think about what the children are going threw.

urstruly85 · Mar 22, 2007, 10:43 AM

I don't understand why your daughter has to remain in foster care. Isn't one of your family members willing to take care of her? I don't know how the laws work on FL but CT if parents are "unfit" to take care of their child another relative may be granted custody. On top of that they wouldn't just take her away, there had to be more to it than what you said. Also instead of dealing with your working you should go to the supervisour above your worker and sort things out. Sometimes just workers alone CAN be s, trust me I know from experiences. Also either its your daughter or husband... who said once you get her back, he couldn't be part of her life? Just ask to be restationed...

vlee · Mar 22, 2007, 02:05 PM

Have there been any other marks on her body in the past? Your pediatrician could have called if he/she thought the child had marks on several visits, or even if the diaper rash was severe. If you are sure no one has hurt your baby, file an appeal, but continue with the case plan for now. I think it's terrible to leave your husband if you believe in his innocence. As soon as you went back with him your daughter could be yanked away again. You need to work a s a united front to resolve this so you can remain an entire family.

nikki66rqs · Mar 22, 2007, 07:54 PM

There had to be more because when my friend reported my step-dad beating me (punched me several times in the face)... all they did was look at my rear and that was it. Nothing else. And then seven years later he beat me again and my boyfriend called CPS... the cop didn't do anything even though I had a fat lip and a bruise under my eye.

So there had to be more... did you starve her? Broken bones?

NY_Mom · Mar 25, 2007, 02:06 PM

Originally Posted by Sentra

It takes a good amount of force to put a bruise on ANYONE. You and your husband should be aware of your child's needs, they come first and foremost before your own.

Keep cooperating with the court's system; if anyone called the authorities on you they have the option to be anonymous, so its possible that you may never find out who notified them, and remember that if you didn't do anything wrong, you should have nothing to worry about, right? Good luck to you.

This isn't 100% accurate. Around here people tend to consider calling CPS a way of getting revenge on people, so I am pretty well aware of the rights.

I know you're in FL, but no matter where you live in the states you have the right to face your accuser. Did you have to go to court at all? Generally they don't sentence you or anything without seeing a judge and most likely going to family court. At that point you could invoke the right to face your accuser.

I know someone who was accused of child abuse and they told her she couldn't know who reported either, but once she went to court she was allowed to see who it was.

My parents had been reported several times while I was growing up - and I can tell you that being pulled from class to be questioned by CPS isn't fun, nor is having them show up at your house at 11pm. Especially when it's all bullcrap.

However, despite the numerous reports nothing was ever done (which makes sense considering my parents never did anything) and this even includes when my dad threw a lady out of the house (the one who visited at 11pm... seriously, what on earth where they thinking?)

So, I imagine there is something else going on.

You say you trust your husband, but should you? I don't think CPS or any of them would be so gung ho for you to leave him if they didn't honestly believe he did something to her.

Men can be smooth liars, especially abusers. Think back, did he ever display a temper or irritability with the child? How often was he left alone with her and for how long? Anyone can lose a temper with a child... and as was said before, it takes a lot to bruise a baby especially one the size of an adult handprint as they're claiming. 8 months is too young to be getting spanked.

mzkaciagurl · May 6, 2007, 10:06 PM

I am going through a similar case as you can you please give me any adice or input from what you have read and researched and experienced these past months??

Thank you so much I really appreciate any support or advice I can get... truly...

God bless you and your family.. please feel free to email or call anytime.

Aloha

J_9 · May 7, 2007, 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by mzkaciagurl

.. please feel free to email or call anytime.

aloha

I hope you do not mind, but I have removed your e-mail and telephone number as this is a worldwide site and any freak can just call you up. This would aid in keeping your children away rather than getting them back.