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naimah08 · Jul 4, 2009, 10:55 AM

Hi I'm currently with a new partner and expecting his first child I also have a 1 yr old whose father does not want nothing to do with her and has had no contact with me since I found out I was pregnant the problem is my current partner wants to adopt her and give her his surname as he loves her loads and she calls him dad but we don't know what or how to do it

ScottGem · Jul 4, 2009, 12:06 PM

First, please pay more attention to posting guidelines. This was originally posted in the Adoption forum where there is a Read First sticky that directs questions about the legal aspects of adoption to this forum.

The basic answer is to find a Family Law attorney to prepare the petition for adoption. Generally courts prefer married couples before approving adoptions. So the attorney can tell you what the requirements are.

You will also need to terminate the bio father's rights. The attorney will explain how you go about doing that.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 4, 2009, 02:41 PM

You will need the bio father to sign over his rights, an attorney will really be needed.

cdad · Jul 4, 2009, 05:06 PM

You will most likely need to be married first. And then at least for some minimim time ( like a year at least ) so you have a track record of stability. Why aren't you collecting child support for this child ? Has there been any custody hearings at all ?

jenniepepsi · Jul 4, 2009, 05:16 PM

Yes to everythign said. And most importantly the first step, you MUST get a hold of the bio father and have his terminate his rights. You can't do this for him. And you can't simply say 'i don't know where he is'

If you can't find him, sometimes a 'search of good faith' is acceptable, in which you would do everything you can to find him, and Prove you did everything to find him. This includes putting an ad in the local paper for him, emailing him, going on myspace to find him, anything you can do to locate him.

After that, his paternity will need to be established and he will need to give up his rights.

Also, I wasn't going to add this because I am not positive on this, so someone with more experience in this please correct me if I am wrong, but I believe you will need to be married to this man before he can adopt your child.

Good luck hon. And congratulations on the new baby.

cdad · Jul 4, 2009, 05:22 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

also, i wasnt going to add this because i am not positive on this, so someone with more experiance in this please correct me if i am wrong, but i beleive you will need to be married to this man before he can adopt your child.

It is possible for him to adopt the child without marriage but she would also have to give up custody of the child for that to happen. If they are married then she would still retain the custody and share it with him. If a single person were to adopt then they would become a single parent.

That's why there is the suggestion of marriage.

ScottGem · Jul 4, 2009, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

yes to everythign said. and most importantly the first step, you MUST get a hold of the bio father and have his terminate his rights. .

This is not quite accurate. Generally termination of rights happens at the same time the adoption is finalized. It's all part of the package. Yes they need to see if the bio dad will relinquish voluntarily. If he won't then they may not be able to get an adoption.