[shygrneyzs]

I have no sympathy for a guy who willingly has intercourse with a woman and then cries he does not want any responsibility for his actions. Go and whine to your buddies. You can ask her to abort the baby, but it is her choice overall. You loved her enough to be with her, sleep with her, etc. Now buck up and act like a man.

[Worried313]

See I feel the same way as this guy I grew up not having a dad so I'm kind of scared that when I am a dad will I be a good one cause it is not like a video game can't start over I do not want to abort the child and I do not want to give him/her up and both of us are not that well in the money department so that scares me I feel like I'm going to fail as a father she wants the child yet she says she's scared and doesn't I am more or less scared of the idea right now I was kind of hoping to be older maybe like 25 at least I'm only 20 and she's 19 I hope shs not pregnant and yet I hope she is I really just hope I will be a better dad then my own anyone offer some advice or anything and sorry for posting a question on a question

[SnOOp-DiZZLe]

Personally I don't feel that its right that once a women decides she wants to have a child and the male counterpart objects. Why must the man be held responsabel for the next 18 years because of her final decision?

I don't think a man should be able to decide what a woman can or should do with the baby, but if the woman fully understands that the man does not want a child and she continues with the birth, she should be held accountable solely. A man is left with / has NO choice in the matter which is completely rotten.

There are a lot of women out there that intensionally trap a man and vise versa but we are not talking about that topic here.

JMO.

[talaniman]

Snoop, Think about the consequences of having sex with a female before you do the deed, after is to late.

[SnOOp-DiZZLe]

What about the women that concented to having relations its OK for here to decide what's best for him?

[talaniman]

Consent is nothing, you have also consented. Guys should take care of their own interests, and not believe a female will do it for them. She can only do what's best for her.

[lil_pea07]

I, alone, agree with most people here. You agreed to have sex with her. Therefore, you agreed to the consequences. If you can't live up to your so called "mistakes," then you are NOT a real man. Your girlfriend deserves so much better than you. I hope that someday she reads all this and realizes that YOU are just a dud in the wind. She SHOULD in deed sue your a$$ for child support and take away your parental rights. YOU do NOT deserve to have such a blessing in your life. Both your girlfriend and your child to be! You are a disgrace to all man. You are the kind of man that keep the good ones from ever getting a chance at life, because you type of men make us woman believe we can't find better. A child is the best thing that could ever happen to a woman. And the thought that you would kill your own flesh and blood, I hope you rot in he!! But, whatever, I told you my opinion. And a note to all woman who read this, "Never give up! Never let yourself believe you will never have better. You, too, can have a wonderful and happy life! Fight for it and live for it! Always remember that us other woman are here for your support. Live your life the way you want, because you only live once!!"

[SnOOp-DiZZLe]

A child is the best thing that could ever happen to a woman. And the thought that you would kill your own flesh and blood, I hope you rot in he!!.

Ouch... I would imagine that you should keep your religious beliefs kept private, we do not all carry the same beliefs as you, I mean no offense.

[ghost2927]

Sex doesn't always mean baby a woman has the right to keep or ad-bort or adopt I believe that if a man or woman owes child support jail is no good because first the couts favor women that is a fact and if say for example a woman or man is jailed for back support the average to keep an inmate housed is what 30- to 50 a day lets take the lessor 30 that comes out to to around 930 a month in a lot of cases a lot less than the orderd monthly child support amount . And who is footing the bill the tax payers and most of the time the amount to keep someone locked up per month is a lot more than that the support owed so why not pay that amount to the owed parent and forget about jail because in the long run its costing the taxpayers a lot more in keeping the oweing parent in jail plus welfare for the un supported child.

[ghost2927]

I say the women are given all the choises he men are not I know a lot of women say the man made a chise to have sex but would thes women that think this way believe its OK if the man wants to keep the baby and the woman does not schouldnt the man be abel to stop her legaly I know it's the woman's body but having it both ways is not right

[talaniman]

That's why the guys of my generation kept condoms in there wallet . While not 100 proof, better than nothing. Face it guys knowing what can happen maybe think before you consent, and save the drama.

[SnOOp-DiZZLe]

I say the women are given all the choises he men are not i know alot of women say the man made a chise to have sex but would thes women that think this way believe its ok if the man wants to keep the baby and the woman does not schouldnt the man be abel to stop her legaly i know its the womans body but haveing it both ways is not right

That's all I have been trying to say! Good post! So Talaniman, how does you view change if at all if the women gets pregnet and wants to abort and the man wants to be a man (as you say)and raise this child, I am going to guess that its still the same opinion for you and the man has no choice?

[Synnen]

Until the man can carry the child to term and ruin his own body... sorry, he's SOL.

It's not fair. I agree.

It's also not fair that if a woman gets pregnant and he splits, she's left with ALL of the issues to deal with.

It's not fair that no one judges a man for not raising his own flesh and blood and just sending child support every month, but if a woman did that, people would think the absolute worst of her.

It's not fair that women have to deal with menstruation and everything that goes with it every month.

It's not fair that no matter how responsible both parties are, ultimately the final responsibility is the woman's, because it is HER body that conceives.

It's not fair that men can orgasm pretty much every time they have sex, and that so many women can NEVER orgasm from intercourse.

Want me to keep going on about the things that aren't fair between men and women?

[talaniman]

Listen carefully, A man makes his choice before he does the deed, because after that the ball is in her court, and it is her call how she plays it. If you wish to change the facts, then you will be fighting a thousand years of tradition and laws, good luck with that. This may seem unfair on its surface, and life is often unfair, but the man has the choice of where he does his deed and with who, so as inviting as it is it is you who must decide to put the ball in her court or not. Trust me, it is too late to call foul, after the deed is done, and there are no do overs. OOOPS! Does NOT count. So the bottom line is be careful and carry a condom in your wallet or two just in case.

[SnOOp-DiZZLe]

Synnen, you going way off course with the differences of a women and a man. I am not arguing that it probably sucks that you have PMS, I can see this every month when my wife goes through this. This can't be altered, this is the anatomy of a women. I am solely speaking about the rights of a father to be and what's fair or should be at least considered, and I can't disagree more with talaniman. I know life is not fair I have been down this road already and face even more challenges as we speak. I think your way thinking is antiquated for these times with all the new rights and laws that women now have that didn't before..

Having a child should be the decision of both parents to be, it takes two to make a child. I would think that most mothers in this situation (not all) are low income as shown by statistics, there for would most likely be an irresponsible decision being made anyway to have a child for whatever reasons the future mother may have. I don't think that all the pro-life groups have any right to decide what a future mother can or can't do with her body, but maybe it's just time that the government steps in to evaluate the parent(s) to show that they are both willing and capable of raising and supporting a child. If they are not then an immediate action should be taken by the court. After all, once the baby is here, the man is told by the court what he must do or pay without objection.

[SnOOp-DiZZLe]

This pregnancy is your responsibility just as much as your girlfriend's.

So should he not have a say in what is to happen? You said it!

[SnOOp-DiZZLe]

Everyone keeps talking about being selfish, who is really being selfish here? The woman knows that the father to be is not going to be around and she will probably struggle with or without a support order and the child will probably live in a substandard environment, and the child will grow up fatherless. Seems to me the mother to be is the one really being selfish and not thinking about anyone but herself.

[dunno]

What it comes down to is that none of this is the baby's fault. Why should the child be punished? Whether the father wants to be a father or not, he did the deed. Yes it takes two but the mother is willing to step up to the plate. Her actions got her pregnant. Could she have stopped him? Of course! But could he have stopped himself. YES! This guy isn't so stupid to think that just because he doesn't want a kid, he couldn't possibly get someone pregnant. You have sex, you could end up with a baby. If you don't want a baby, DON'T HAVE SEX! It's that easy. He knew before he had sex with her that she could get pregnant. He took the risk and now he has to live with the consequences.

If you jump off a bridge into a river, there's a possibility you could drown. You might not. You might live. So do you take the chance and jump and hope you live? NO. (well at least most people wouldn't) If you jump, and you drown, it's because you were stupid. You knew what the consequences could be before you jumped. And you would be naïve to think it couldn't happen to you. You would have no one to blame but yourself. IT's the same with sex. You could end up with a baby. If you're not ready for that, keep it in your pants.

[SnOOp-DiZZLe]

Your right its not the child's fault and should be decided by both parties well before it develops to child.

[Synnen]

What I am saying is that whatever choice is made, the choice will affect the mother far more than the father.

After surviving 14 years of being a birthmother (I "stepped up" and "did what was good for the child") I would never ever ever advise someone to go that route.

However... I would NEVER force a woman to give birth to a child she didn't want to give birth to. Pregnancy can be a beautiful thing, but when it's an unwanted pregnancy, even if you love your child, you HATE your body. Everything changes.

Yes, having sex is risking pregnancy. However, consenting to sex is not consenting to pregnancy, by either party.

Should men have more rights? Definitely.

Tell me how you'd give them rights without taking away from the rights women have fought for years to have over their own bodies.

Make her abort because he doesn't want a baby, and is scared of the responsibility?

Make her choose adoption? No way in hell. I would never ever ever force someone to go through 9 months of pregnancy, bond with the child, and then have to give the child to someone else who may or may not keep their promises to keep you updated on the child's life.

Give birth and then give the child to the father who wants to take care of him/her? If he wants a child that badly, he can find a surrogate mother and a surgeon willing to transfer the fetus to another womb.

Let him sign away his rights to get out of paying child support? I don't THINK so!

About the only option I can think of is one that most people in the situation of an unwanted pregnancy wouldn't have done anyway: Draw up legal papers that cover the situation in advance, that would allow him to get out of child support, or legally oblige her to continue the pregancy or whatever the couple decides.

How would YOU give men rights in this situation? Seriously... I'd love to know how you'd do it without taking away the woman's rights.