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Sargent Able · Jun 28, 2009, 03:15 AM

Hi, I am a boy and 15 years of age.I am It is to my impression that my social life as I know of it is in a jeapordizing state.First of all I am currently in the 11th grade,going to grade 12 in the arrival of the Christmas term.I have a few friends that I am not so sure of if they like me as a friend or not.I barely speak at school and the people in my art class doesn't seem to like me.I am in some sort of solitude and I go out on only some occasions... I do not own a cellphone... I am viewed to be "boring" towards my counterparts although I admit being quite paranoid about the possibilities of going out.I do not have any real experience about relationships and I never had any girlfriend in my school years or anything.I am shy when it comes to conversations with girls I consider to be attractive.I am also considered to be a "loser" in the view of many of the guys at school.
I like to express myself by drawing but I am quite curious of knowing how high my chances are at attracting a girl that I might like... but I am recovering from a rejection that happened a few days ago and my confidence has been stomped on.Please help me out... and please don't be a jerk about all of this because I am not as experienced as much as you people out there.:(

danielnoahsmommy · Jun 28, 2009, 03:41 AM

You are very normal.. high school can be a really trying time. Just a few tips to help you a little. Make sure you shower daily and use deodorant. Make sure your clothes are clean and pressed. They should also fit properly. Brush your teeth and keep yourself well groomed.
If the girls won't appreciate you in high school you will find someone in college. Trust me some of the biggest studs in high school are now the loser 20 years later and those who were smart and self aware and "nerdy" are successful in most life endeavors.

Best wishes! Be yourself!

Fr_Chuck · Jun 28, 2009, 04:54 AM

In a few years, all of those kids of "rich" parents will find they have to work for their own living, so many of my high school class the "cool" kids now pump gas at service stations, are still bagging grocrey at the local store and more.
While the nerd kids went on to be enginners and more making the 100,000's of thousands a year.

That star foot ball player, unless he gets a great scholarship to a college will only have those memories since in 10 years those touchdowns have no value at all.

And honestly, MOST kids can't afford cell phones, and normally run out of minutes on prepaid all the time

I can remember at GA Tech, whlle the Star Quarterback may still have his flock of girls following him. The guys with the high GPA and big future in business had the real babes chasing them.

barbiechick123 · Jun 28, 2009, 11:04 AM

I agree with most people. Right now, just keep yourself approachable and clean, if someone talks to you be polite and friendly, and about the guys... don't even worry about them, almost every high school reunion my family friends went to, they told me that the popular girl was working as a cashier at Target and the star quarterback was fat, old and bagging items at Safeway, you seem pretty well rounded, so I have a feeling you'll end up better then these kids. Plus, who needs a cell phone, they keep people occupied all the time, phones are meant for emergencies *at least cell phones are*, so whenever I see people rambling on and on the cellphone I want to gag (heck, even I'm that person sometimes, and I annoy myself.)

Wondergirl · Jun 28, 2009, 11:31 AM

I also agree with the others.

You don't have to be the big talker. Better to be the good listener (girls LOVE it when guys actually listen to what they ramble on and on about). Stick a few "um"s and "wow!"s and "tell me more"s etc. into the conversations, and people will flock to you to tell you stuff. Especially be helpful when girls want to vent and rant. Let them do it. Don't try to solve the problem (a guy thing), but just listen with good empathy, pat them on the arm or shoulder, give them a hug, and they will be yours forever. Other guys will be asking you what your secret is. Oh, and this works with guys too, the listening thing, but probably not a good idea to hug them... Be upbeat and encouraging.

Sargent Able · Jun 28, 2009, 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

you are very normal.. high school can be a really trying time. just a few tips to help you a little. make sure you shower daily and use deodorant. make sure your clothes are clean and pressed. they should also fit properly. brush your teeth and keep yourself well groomed.
If the girls wont appreciate you in high school you will find someone in college. trust me some of the biggest studs in high school are now the loser 20 years later and those who were smart and self aware and "nerdy" are successful in most life endeavors.

Best wishes! Be yourself!

Thank you very much for this resourceful advice! What you posted is a true fact and that process can be seen everyday in our lives,along with that my mother told me the same thing about the hygiene part because no one what's to be near somebody with an unpleasant odor.:)

Sargent Able · Jun 28, 2009, 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

In a few years, all of those kids of "rich" parents will find they have to work for thier own living, so many of my high school class the "cool" kids now pump gas at service stations, are still bagging grocrey at the local store and more.
While the nerd kids went on to be enginners and more making the 100,000's of thousands a year.

That star foot ball player, unless he gets a great scholarship to a college will only have those memories since in 10 years those touchdowns have no value at all.

And honestly, MOST kids can't afford cell phones, and normally run out of minutes on prepaid all the time

I can remember at GA Tech, whlle the Star Quarterback may still have his flock of girls following him. The guys with the high GPA and big future in business had the real babes chasing them.

Thank you plentiful, Fr_Chuck.Your advice has been very beneficial for me! God Bless You!:)

firefly07 · Jun 28, 2009, 12:57 PM

Hun... your 15 and your in high school.
High school is the worst place to find partners, its full of immature individuals who like to fall into categories and bully as much people as they can... trust me, I've just left high school and am now in college... I promise you, you will find someone, you have your whole life ahead of you.

Don't listen to what people call you, and never put yourself down. So what you have got rejected... everyone gets rejected now and again.. you need to pick yourself up again and should focus on your school work instead of girls,

Sargent Able · Jun 28, 2009, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by firefly07

hun.... your 15 and your in highschool.
highschool is the worst place to find partners, its full of immature individuals who like to fall into categories and bully as much people as they can.... trust me, iv just left highschool and am now in college... i promise you, you will find someone, you have your whole life ahead of you.

dont listen to what people call you, and never put yourself down. so what you have got rejected.... everyone gets rejected now and again.. you need to pick yourself up again and should focus on your school work instead of girls,

Wow! I have known about your given advice for some time and what you said really lifted my spirits up! Knowing about what you stated made me to be one of the smartest boys in my school!Your advise as been very uplifting. Thank you! :D

Sargent Able · Jun 28, 2009, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by barbiechick123

I agree with most people. right now, just keep yourself approachable and clean, if someone talks to you be polite and friendly, and about the guys... don't even worry about them, almost every highschool reunion my family friends went to, they told me that the popular girl was working as a cashier at Target and the star quarterback was fat, old and bagging items at Safeway, you seem pretty well rounded, so I have a feeling you'll end up better then these kids. Plus, who needs a cell phone, they keep people occupied all the time, phones are meant for emergencies *at least cell phones are*, so whenever I see people rambling on and on the cellphone i wanna gag (heck, even I'm that person sometimes, and I annoy myself.)

Thank you for the advice! I really appreciate your devoted time into helping me boost my confidence!:D

sGt HarDKorE · Jun 28, 2009, 01:46 PM

The advice above is good, but I'm sure you want to improve your social life now. You don't have to be popular, cool, or handsome to have a girlfriend, or to have friends.

If you want to get more friends, join tons of clubs that interest you. Help fellow students by tutoring them, or volunteering to show new students around. Basically, force yourself to interact with people. And just a tip, I tend to make a lot of my friends from classes that have me sitting next to the same people all year/semester. If you look friendly and communicate with your peers near your desk/locker, eventually you could become friends. And imo this is the easiet way. Your with someone for a hour every day, your bound to find something in common.

Now for girlfriends. Idk how you look, or what you look for in a girl, but find girls that like guys for who they are in the inside. Those relationships last way longer. Also, try not to have your hope to high, don't expect to get some super model. But don't get shy and not ask girls out that you like. I have always been able to communicate with people well partly due to how I think which is: These people will not be your life forever, so take a risk. Sure it's hard to go out of your way, but try to make yourself do it. Like I personally live by the rule of "Help 1 person a day." That makes me go out on a limb to help people, and you'll find most people are just as shy/nervous in high school or in any surrounding. Just relax, and think of high school as a testing period.

ifrah moh · Jun 29, 2009, 02:32 PM

Hi, here is the thing there are two kind of girls in high-school the girl who likes the popular guys and then there is my kind who actually like the ones that can talk,in my school the guys are total jerks I actually lost my believe that good mature guys even exist in high-school So thank you there is at least hope.back to your question a nice guy like you of course,I would suggest you really look for your girl in your school if you don't find her there I assure you if she isn't there she is somewhere else waiting for you(what can I say I believe in true love)so keep your eyes open.As for friends they come and go if your"friends"cant accecpt you for you then you can't call them your "friend"and some day you will probarly find a friend You seem like a really good guy so I hope you find her.here in sweden they are decreasing every day the chance of finding one minimal. Bye

Simone21295 · Jul 5, 2009, 02:23 PM

Yes its possible. I'm sure there are girls out there who are thinking the same thing as you are. Why don't you go for a girl that's also very shy and someone who is also unexperienced. It will be easier for you 2 to connect and understand each other more.

THEpurplepeanut · Jul 6, 2009, 09:49 AM

I agree with everyone here. Just be yourself and make sure you are keeping yourself clean and approachable. What girl that is down to earth doesn't like a guy who is a good listener, smart, nice and artistic,right? You don't have to be the sporty type to attract girls. Plus keep up the good grades because no girl wants a boy who can't think for himself. I think you're on the right track with the drawing and studying. Don't worry what people call you, you should take being called a nerd as a complement because it only proves you are smarter than they are and you will most likely become one of those successful people with a nice car, beautiful house, and a good job. Good luck and if you don't get a girl in high school, you are bound to get one in college. I know I like the smart type! Good luck :)