[petertime]

I have a 4-year-old boy without being taken care of by any other people. We both work almost each weekday. What's more, we don't know how to teach our kid well, for we both have bad temper. Therefore, we are trying to send him to a boarding kindergarten, but cannot find a decent one.

Do you think I can do this? And what should we do?

[mouse-girl]

What about an au pair (live-in nanny type person, common in Europe), to help out at home instead? I have never heard of boarding kindergartens, so I don't know if they exist, but if you had a nanny type person, ideally someone who is interested in teaching your son and guiding him, then that would be a pretty good compromise.

Kids really test your patience, so I know where you are coming from, but it is so important to take deep breaths and not let your temper show, because he will just learn from you and emulate that behavior. I know it is easier said than done. If you think of your son as a teacher, who is there to teach you to learn patience and temper control it might help a little. Until you learn, the lessons keep coming back again and again...

What you need is Mary Poppins! Good luck, we could do with Mary Poppins in my home too.

[justcurious55]

Huh? So let me make sure I'm getting this right. You had this kid. You don't know what to do. So you want to send them away?
Kids don't come with a handbook. No one expects you to be a perfect parent. But come on. 4 years old. Considering that a child is a lifetime commitment that's not very long to put in any effort. Learn to control your tempers. Take anger management classes. Take parenting classes. Read books. If you really want what's best for your child you've got to be there. It's one thing to send older children away for school but at 4, I barely remember being 4, how is he even going to remember you later if you send him away now? Do you really want to risk losing out on these important bonding times with your little boy?

[J_9]

Why not just give the kid up for adoption?

[mudweiser]

Why not just give the kid up for adoption?

I definitely have to agree with you J.

I have a 4-year-old boy without being taken care of by any other people. We both work almost each weekday.

What do you mean? Is he home alone when you are working? If he is I hope you know that is AGAINST the law and you WILL be punished if someone reports this.

What's more, we don't know how to teach our kid well, for we both have bad temper.

Who does? No one here is a perfect parent. You learn along the way. If you don't even attempt then what was the point of having a kid in the first place?

Therefore, we are trying to send him to a boarding kindergarten, but cannot find a decent one.

When you had your kid why didn't you just give him away to a family that would want him, that would want to at the very least try to be a good parent.

Do you think I can do this? And what should we do?

You can do this, but should you? No.

He's only 4! Four!! Most children... no, all children at the age of four depend on their parents. You want to rip this child from what he knows and throw him in some building and have other people raise him. This is sad. Really sad.

Sarah

[321543]

I shall pray for your child first of all. I shall call it the unknown child in my prayers tonight. God will know who I speak of.
I ask you to remember this one simple thing. No snowflake falls where it's not meant to .
Maybe it is what your child has to teach or do for you. Once you past your petty differences with your spouse you may be able to see that. Until that happens you shall always look at your duties as a burden. Not as the blessing that it truly is.
I am a father of 4 Boys, and my mind never rests. My duties are never ending. Only I knew that the moment I decided to have a family. But I know my reward will be great , rather I live to see it or not. Because they live on to tell my story.

[danielnoahsmommy]

G-D bless this child! I'm Not going to be NICE! YOU ARE INSANE! If you don't want this child... there are millions of people who CAN love and RESPECT him/her.:eek:

[PaperFlowerz]

Wow. Please don't send your child away. Your child needs you, and your love. Have you looked into parenting classes? They are usually not to expensive and give you tons of good idea on how to to direct your children. What about daycare or preschool? This would get the little one out of the house for part of the day to give you a break. It would also give him a chance to interact with children his age. There are so many many options, but please please please, don't send your child away. Children need there mommies and daddies. They need support and love. They need family. Not boarding school. You had the child. Now its your job to make the best of it and be a family. I would suggest looking into a child care resource and referral centre for both preschool/daycare and parenting classes.

[jenniepepsi]

I REALLY hope this poster was a troll and was not serious about this...

[Michele2009]

No

[petertime]

Thank you so much. All ideas and suggestions you kindly give me are considerable and vital important. However, why we can find so many parents in Mianland China doing this --- pay much money trying to put their kids (4-6) into boarding kindergrtens? And they also love their kids, they want their kids to become great persons, to learn more and to be more independent.

[danielnoahsmommy]

A 4 year old is still a baby plenty of time to be independent. I also heard that in china parent send children to grandparent for at least the 1st year of life.

I think parents should raise the children they put into this world

[JoeCanada76]

Your just trying to pass off your non parenting to somebody else. Why are you not willing to take the responsibilities of being a parent. I think J9 is right. Time to put your child up for adoption and maybe the child will have a loving home with loving parents.

You both have tempers. Do you take your tempers out on the child? I think you both need help but not in child care.

I hope and pray that this child gets the love that the child needs.

[Stringer]

YOU say that you both have tempers. I would like to know how this has impacted on your child? Are you both constantly screaming and yelling at him/her?

Have you EVER HIT your child?

I am concerned that this child may be in danger.

By the way, no one has asked this question of you, do you love your child?

Stringer

[moshimaggie]

Send him if he doesn't like it take him out

[justcurious55]

Just because there's other people doing it doesn't make it right!